Zemblanity
by CitrineMama
Summary: Bobby kept every letter, every card she'd ever sent him. He looked at her like his own and was damn proud of the young woman she'd become. He'd made a promise to her daddy years ago and he intended to keep it. I don't own any of the SPN characters, only my OC.
1. Chapter 1

His eyes moved over his name and address on the pale yellow envelope. There wasn't a return address, only a heart scrawled in black pen in the top left corner. The stamp was postmarked Decorah, IA. His calloused fingers turned the parcel over and a recently sharpened pocket knife slid smoothly across the sealed flap.

A smile graced his lips as he pulled out the card, already knowing who it was from. Still, he opened it and read the front of the card silently. It was a picture of an old truck, simliar to the one he'd given her years before, sitting on some grassy knoll.

 _Dad,_

 _how can I tell you how much you mean to me?_

His left thumb caught the bottom right corner and opened it slowly, taking in the swirly half print, half cursive writing that was so damn endearing to him.

 _Thank you for everything you've ever done for me. I think of you daily and you're always in my prayers. Happy father's day to the best dad I wish was mine! I love you!_

Her words were always heartfelt and always made his eyes sting with tears. She was a great kid and he swore he'd always look out for her and Bobby _always_ kept his promises.

She thought her dad took off on her mom when she was young, but truth be told, he was on the road, hunting monsters. Her mother had given her husband an ultimatum; either stick around or get lost.

He chose to get lost.

 _Just because you love someone, doesn't mean you have to stick around and screw up their lives._

Bobby was a close family friend of her parents and he never told her the truth. Didn't have the heart to do so. Instead, he'd attended school plays and softball games over the years and helped her mom fix the car or get the mower running, always making damn sure that kid knew how loved she really was.

Her dad loved her too, but he stayed gone, killing any evil he come across and keeping his family safe the best way he knew how. He didn't want his little girl growing up to be a hunter or having anything to do with that life in any way, shape or form.

Bobby's blurry eyes scanned the card again before he closed it, holding it close to his chest for a moment. He eyed the mantel over his fireplace and moved across his living room to place it up there with the all the others she'd sent him.

Hunting was a dangerous life.

That was no way to raise a kid and Bobby believed that with his whole heart.


	2. Chapter 2

One of the phones in the kitchen rang again and Dean crossed the room and studied the yellowed tape on the phone handle. He and Sam glanced at one another, wondering who on earth had Bobby's actual land line number. Sam shrugged silently and the older man's eyes snapped to the window when he heard the crunch of gravel underneath tires.

He moved to the living room window without a sound and peered out between the dusty curtains with caution and frowned when he saw an eighties model two tone truck pull up. "Sam, we got company." The only reply was the cocking of Sam's gun.

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Sighing in frustration, the brunette groaned and tossed her cell phone onto the bench seat next to her as she drove down the last two lane to Bobby's house.

The trip from Decorah, Iowa had taken her about four hours. For some reason, Riley had driven with a heavy foot towards his home. Perhaps it was because she hadn't spoken with him in a month and frankly, that worried her.

Bobby always called, even if it was some damn inconveinent time of the day or night. Not that it would matter to me, she thought with a smile. College had her camping out at the library often until the wee hours and any ring from her phone was a welcome break from her studies.

She turned into Singer's Salvage in a cloud of dust without using her signal and stopped the truck to grab his mail from the rusted box. There were only two items inside and a frown settled on her features when she saw they'd been postmarked from six weeks prior. She shoved them into the side pocket on her backpack and continued towards the house.

The brunette drove alongside the piles of slowly deteriorating vehicles until the two story house came into view. Riley's brown eyes narrowed as she pulled into her old spot, Bobby's car sitting there. She slowed to a stop and shifted into park before getting out and slamming the door, her backpack on her shoulder and her laundry bag in the opposite hand and she headed towards the house.

The sunlight made her squint and she called out. "Bobby? I'm home." There wasn't a reply and her heart started to pound as she climbed the steps. "Bobby?" Riley pressed her key into the worn lock and turned it.

"Bobby? I'm home." Riley let herself in and closed the wooden door behind her. She slipped off the bags and wandered towards the kitchen. She moved to the fridge and pulled it open, the smell of rotting food wafting into her nostrils. "Ugh. I should stopped at the store for you."

She pulled the half gallon of spoiled milk and a rotten bag of apples out, tossing them into the trash before reaching under the sink for some cleaner and paper towels. Riley checked the rest of the contents before leaving the olives, stone ground mustard, three beers and her half bottle of wine inside.

Trying not to gag, she tied off the trashbag and carried it onto the front porch, setting it down outside the door. "Bobby, you here?" She called again, the screen door slamming closed behind her. The brunette wound her longish hair into a messy bun at the nape of her neck and sighed before heading back to the kitchen.

"Hold it right there." A male voice made her freeze and her eyes watered, fear instantly in her chest. A very tall male moved around her, a handgun trained on her in the foyer. Her hands were up, palms towards him at chest level. "Who are you?"

"Riley." Pause. "Where's Bobby?" The man lowered his gun a fraction of an inch, his features softening somewhat. His eyes burned into hers for a moment before they moved over her shoulder.

"Bobby's gone." Another male voice made her jump and she turned to see a second man behind her, another handgun pinted at her chest. "The hell are you?"

"My name is Riley." Damnit, her voice was shaking. "Where's Bobby?"

The two men exchanged looks before she found herself being splashed with water from a metal flask. "What the hell?" Her chocolate gaze locked on the second man's flask. "That's Bobby's... what the hell did you do to him?"

The first man tucked his gun into the back of his jeans, deciding she was safe. He looked at the second man. "Bobby passed away a month ago." Riley felt all the air get sucked out of the foyer and her knees buckled under her. She dropped to the wood floor with a thud, staring blankly in front of her. "I'm sorry."

She felt hot tears sliding down her cheeks and she gripped her hair painfully before she started to sob quietly. The two men didn't say anything, just eyed her and the bags of belongings next to her. Those quiet sobs turned into the brunette scrambling to her feet and shoving a finger into the shorter man's chest accusingly, despite the handgun still pointed at her. "What did you do to him?"

Green eyes put his gun away and caught her hand, somewhat gently. "He was hunting and..." His voice trailed off.

"He's always careful. You're lying." Her molten chocolate glare held his. "I'm calling the police." She stormed past him and his eyes moved to his brother's. He tucked his gun away as well.

Riley had dialed 9 when a hand reached out to press an index finger to the old rotary phone, hanging up. "Hang on."

"You broke into Bobby's house and you're pointing guns at me. Yeah, right old man." She moved her gaze to the taller man hanging in the doorway, hands in his pockets. "You got anything to say, shaggy?"

The older man smirked at her smartass comment to his brother. "How did you know Bobby?"

"Get out of his house. Now." Riley pushed her tears back angrily.

"Now just hold on." The shorter man's gruff voice made her look at him. "I'm Dean and this is my brother, Sam. And you're Riley?" A slight nod. "Are you a hunter?"

Her brow wrinkled. "No. My dad was... used to hunt with Bobby before he took off and left me and my mom.." There was a pregnant pause. "You guys are his hunting buddies?" They glanced at one another. "Stop doing that."

"Yeah, I guess you could say that."

Riley moved to the living room and they followed, stopping when she got to the fireplace. The last card she'd sent him was the father's day card and she reached up on the mantel to read it again. "Why'd you ask if I was a hunter?"

Sam spoke up. "If your dad was, I guess I thought you were too." That made her roll her eyes.

"Dad chose hunting over me and mom." Her tone became bitter. "So hunting was more important than his family."

"Riley, I don't know that we're talking about the same thing here."

The brunette set the card back in its place. "Excuse me?"


	3. Chapter 3

A/N:

Hello y'all!

Sadly, I own no Winchesters, only my OC Riley. Thank you for stopping by. Please read and review!

CitrineMama

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"I want his bible." That made Sam and Dean look at one another questioningly; _Bobby had a bible?_ Riley crossed the room and headed up stairs, taking them two at a time and the boys followed again. She pushed open the master bedroom door and went straight to his closet, squatting down to find the item at the bottom.

She pulled it out, wrapped in a stained cloth. It was navy blue and cracked and worn. The two men watched her hold it to her chest for a moment and let out a soft sob. "Bobby told me he wanted me to have his bible if... something ever happened to him."

Riley rose and sat down on the end of Bobby's bed, opening it slowly. There were papers and envelopes inside, tucked carefully into the pages. One read her name in his careful print. That made a fresh batch of tears roll down her face. She held it to her chest. It was thick, probably having several pages inside.

She set it aside a moment later and flipped open a few more pages. "These are for you guys... I guess." Riley's voice was soft and the two men looked shocked as she handed them two envelopes as well, their names in Bobby's handwriting. The two men didn't look at one another this time, their eyes trained on the envelopes.

Almost in unison, they tucked the envelopes inside their jacket breast pockets. Riley wiped her tears with the heel of her hand before she stood up on shaky legs in front of the brothers. She brushed by Sam's right side and moved down the hallway. The two men followed, stopping in the doorway of the bedroom at the end of the hallway.

It had always remained closed when they were in town to see Bobby and neither one ever thought anything of it. It was clearly her room.

The bedspread was fluffy and tan, one of those throw type blankets, neatly tucked in with two pillows at the top. She was rooting around through the nightstand drawer and pulled out a few items. The closet door was open and her things were hanging inside.

Dean nudged Sam's ribs and nodded towards several picture frames on the dresser nearest the door where they were standing. There were several of the brunette and Bobby; the pair all smiles at her graduation in her navy blue cap and gown, one of her probably 6 or 7 years prior, Bobby's arm around her shoulders.

There was one that stood out to Sam and he spoke. "Is that your mom?" The blonde woman was standing with Riley and Bobby and Riley looked to be about 8 years old, wearing a pink dress at eating cake at a birthday party.

"Yeah." There was so much more behind her one word answer.

"Why don't I go grab a couple of pizzas or something?" Dean was itching to pry into how on earth that Bobby had managed to have some semblence of nromalcy without either of them knowing about it.

Riley sighed softly. "I have money."

Dean gave her a look. "You can buy next time." That made the corner of her mouth turn up in a small smile. "I'll be back." His footsteps faded and thudded down the staircase.

"So you've always stayed here?" Sam leaned against the doorframe, his eyes on the brunette.

"Every break from school." Sam didn't say anything and she continued. "I'm done with my minor and I was headed here to do laundry and spend the summer with Bobby." Another sob escaped her lips.

He pushed off the doorway and she felt his arms come around her shoulders in a tight hug. Sam patiently waited for her to be the first to let go. Riley let him hug her for a few moments before Sam felt her hand on his stomach. "I'm so sorry, Riley. Bobby was like a father to us too."

"He was a good man." She sniffled.

"The best."

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Sam and Riley would up in the living room, nursing along some whiskey in glass tumblers, talking about Bobby.

"Riley," He shifted to lean forward, setting his drink on the stained coffee table. "How much did you know about Bobby's hunting life?" She shrugged, already feeling a bit buzzed from the amber fluid she swirled in her glass.

"I know my dad thought it was more important that family." She said wryly and Sam frowned.

"Do... you know what they hunted?"

Riley's eyes narrowed a bit at his strange question. "Big game, I guess."

He wiped a hand over his mouth nervously. "When did your dad... take off?"

"When did he _abandon_ his family?" The brunette's snarky correction made his eyesbrows go up. "I was five." Sam nodded. "Why do you even care about my absent father? Bobby _more_ than made up for it."

"What was your dad's name?" Sam couldn't help himself. Riley set down the tumbler on the coffee table harder than she should have, the remainder of the amber fluid sloshing over the side. Dean came through the front door then, two pizza boxes in his hands. He immediately felt the tension in the room and Sam shrugged.

"Why does it matter? He's not in my life anymore.." Riley pushed off the couch to pace the wood floors in front of the coffee table.

Dean gave his little brother a pointed look; usually Sam was the one who could calm the storm, but this was not the case. "Let's just relax here, guys." Dean's gruff voice made her eyes closed painfully. "Here." He set the pizza boxes down and pulled off his jacket to sit down on the chair.

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	4. Chapter 4

Riley kept her eyes from Sam's while they ate quietly, still a little pissed off by his questions about her father. Dean noticed the tension between the two, his eyes moving from one to the other carefully. The brunette pushed off the couch after she finished her third sice and headed towards the front door. "I'm going fo a walk." The screen door slammed behind her. The older man immediately turned to his brother, quirking an eyebrow.

"What the hell did you say to her? You're always the female whisperer." Dean hissed at Sam, who shrugged.

"I was asking her about her dad, her biological father, and she got all pissed off." That made the older man's eyes close painfully.

"He _hunted_ , Sam. He probably took off on her and her mom to hunt the same crap we do." He jerked a thumb over his shoulder. "Only Riley has no _friggin_ ' idea." Realization dawned on Sam's features. "So now what?"

"Do we bring her back to the bunker?"

That made Dean snort. "Oh yeah, she _totally_ seems like the kinda chick that would run off with two strange men in her would be dad's house after we pointed guns in her face and told her Bobby was dead." His smartass reply made Sam give him a look. "Yeah... go on out there and tell her that. Let me know how it goes." Dean leaned back on the couch.

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Riley walked out to her truck and let down the tailgate before hoisting herself onto it. The envelope was in her hands and she turned it over, almost scared to open it.

 _Fuck_ _it_ , she thought.

 _Riley Ann,_

 _I am so damn proud of you._

The tears immediately welled up as she imagined his voice saying that to her.

 _If you're reading this, well, something happened to me and I can only hope this letter found you somehow. I want you to know how loved you were and still are, whether I'm around or not. There's so much you don't know about your own life and I hate that you had to find out like this._

That made her frown.

 _Your dad is a hero._

What?

 _When you were a baby, I met your dad. He was tracking a demon who would come to posess my wife. We took it down together and unfortunately, my love was taken from me. He taught me all about the evil in this world that no one knows about. Your momma hated that he was out there on the road when he wasn't driving his rig, hunting all the baddies._

 _She gave him an ultimatum._

 _Stay and raise you or go and stay gone._

 _Obviously, he chose the latter._

 _Your daddy kept you and your momma safe the best way he knew how; by staying away so no one could use you two against him. He loved you more than anything and it busted him up real bad when she gave him the choice._

 _I'm thankful, though, that I had a hand in raising you into the woman you are today. I never had any rugrats of my own, but I felt like I got to experience a bit of that with you._

That made her put the letter in her lap and more tears blurred her vision. Boots on gravel made her wipe her eyes and Dean was walking towards her, beer in hand. Her eyes met his and he held out the cold bottle wordlessly. She took it and downed a fourth of it. Dean moved to sit on the tailgate next to her. Riley handed the beer back to Dean, who took a pull from it.

 _If you found this much out, you're gonna find the rest out. I want you to contact the two men I trust with my life, and yours as well, even though you've never met them._

 _Dean and Sam Winchester._

There were several phone numbers listed under that.

 _Sam's a lot like you, college educated and got one of them inquisitive minds. He's sensitive though and he's gotten a taste of your world, though I suspect he'd much rather be hunting with his brother than working some yuppie lawyer gig. You'll like him real good. He'll never break a promise._

 _Dean's the other side of the coin; he's got fire in his blood and he never misses a trick. He'll always look after you and you can rest easy knwoing he's around. You bake him one of your famous pies and you're in good with him, I promise. He's a damn good man, best I ever met._

 _Please reach out to them. They'll keep you safe because you're important to me, on both sides of the veil._

That made her eyes close and Dean watched her out of the corner of his eye. He held the beer out again and she shook her head. The brunette felt him shift next to her and his heavy arm come around her shoulders. She started to cry quietly for the millionth time that afternoon and she felt Dean sigh. "I'm sorry." His gruff voice softened some. "I'm so sorry, kiddo."

"Me too." Her whisper made him smile somewhat sadly. "Winchester?"

His brow went up when she called him that. "Yeah?"

"Bobby mentioned you and Sam in my letter." Riley exhaled. Dean's eyes stayed on the horizon, the sky turning into deep orange and scarlet. "You guys were important to him... he said if I found this letter, that I should contact you... told me that you'd... keep me safe." Dean hummed a bit.

"We will."

"Why did he say my dad was a hero?"

Dean let go of Riley a bit and she looked up at him. "What did the letter say?"

"I haven't read it all yet." Pause. "You guys... hunt demons." It was almost a question. "Dean?"

"Yeah... among other things." She bit her lip.

"And Bobby did too?" The pieces were coming together slowly. "And my dad too?"

"And ours too." His reply was gentle.

"Where's your dad?"

Dean's expression didn't change. "Died on the job."

Riley sniffled. "I'm sorry."

"Me too." They were quiet for a moment. "Bobby didn't want this for you, you know that?"

"Apparently, neither did my dad." That made the corners of his mouth turn up slightly, although her tone was bitter. She slid off the tailgate and started to pace the dust and gravel in front of Dean. "He _fuckin_ ' took off and never gave me a _choice_."

"Hey look," Dean began. "Hunting's a _shit_ _way_ for a kid to grow up."

"I never had a choice." Her voice rose. "You hunted with your daddy, _didn't_ _you_?" Riley's tone was accusatory.

"Yeah, but-,"

"You _had_ your dad in your life! Maybe it wasn't an ideal sitaution, but _damn_ _it_ , you had him."

"Yeah, I had Dad ordering me around like a soldier. We bounced around from place to place. Sam was just a baby..."

"So you're telling me you'd rather have had him leave you behind and have some normal life without him?"

Dean hesitated. "I don't know."

"I watched my mother die." Fresh tears began. "He was long gone and I watched her die."

His expression hardened. "My mom died too, Riley."

"Did you watch her wither away for five years until the cancer took her? Because I did."

His green eyes closed. "I'm sorry."

"Maybe you didn't have a choice, but I wasn't given one either... and I hate him for that." Her hoarse whisper made him look down at her.

"Riley," Dean spoke again, his eyes on the brunette in front of him, her arms around herself. "I'm glad you had Bobby. I'm glad I had him too." That made her move into his arms suddenly, hers sliding around his waist as she cried into his chest. "I'm so sorry."

"Me too." Dean hugged her tight; Bobby had kept this young woman from their world as long as he could. A breeze blew and the pages of her letter fluttered to the ground. "Shit Ry." He patted her side and she let go, turning to watch him pick up the pages from the ground and straighten them. He folden them in half and handed them to her. "You read all these already?"

"Just the first one." Riley wiped her eyes again. "I don't know if I can tonight." Dean nodded as she folded them again. "I just... feel like my whole life is up in the air right now. Everything about my life was a lie, Dean."

"Bobby loved you." His tone was careful. "That wasn't a lie."

Riley nodded. "That's the only thing." She held up the letters. "He left me a bunch of phone numbers for you and your brother... told me you'd keep me safe."

The man in front of her gave a nod. "We will."

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A/N:

Hey lovely readers!

Hope you are enjoying this story so far! Please leave me a review or PM me and let me know what you thought!

CitrineMama


	5. Chapter 5

An hour later, the trio was out in the salvage yard between the impala and Riley's truck. Sam came out of the house, carrying a green plastic laundry basket full of the clothing she'd brought to Bobby's to wash. He'd done the laundry on the quick cycle as sort of a peace offering; he still felt bad about prying for information about Riley's father. "Where did you say we were going?" She asked softly, watching the lanky man put her clothing into the back seat of the impala, basket and all. He straightened up and closed the back door.

"Lebanon, Kansas." Sam spoke, her eyes moving him to the older man. Dean was in the bed of her truck, checking the bungee ties, eyeing her smallish load that was partially covered with a gray tarp. He nodded, satisfied and hopped down from the truck bed. "We'll be there by morning."

She fought a yawn. "I wish we could just stay here for tonight..." The boys looked at one another, having a silent conversation. "What?"

"You want one of us to drive your truck and you can sleep? It's about a six hours drive south of here." Dean spoke, dusting off his hands on his jeans. His studious gaze raked over the brunette; she looked physically and emotionally spent and hell, he couldn't blame her.

She sighed softly before fishing her keys out of her shoulder bag and tossing them to Dean. He tossed his impala keys to Sam. He nodded at the pair before moving around to the driver's seat, sliding inside and firing up the engine. Riley was staring at the sleek black car until Dean cleared his throat and she snapped out of it.

They got inside and put on their seat belts before he turned over the engine. "I remember Bobby working on this truck awhile back." He murmured and she looked over at him. "He told us he sold it. I helped put in the new tranny." That made her smile a bit. "Listen, Riley, I know this isn't exactly what you had planned for the summer..."

"Yeah, no kidding." Another tear slid down her cheek and he shifted into drive to follow Sam. Dean turned on the headlights and they rolled over the gravel towards the road. Dean snuck a glance over at the forlorn woman next to him, her letter in her lap. He hadn't read his yet, but when he had some private time, he would.

Across the bench seat from him, she was watching the fading sunset out the passenger window as they headed south towards Lebanon. "Ry? Just sleep. We're not gettin' there for awhile." She reached out to turn on the radio to some soft music.

He made a face and she smiled tiredly. "It's country... you'll like it."

"Right." He did not sound conviced. The brunette slouched down a bit on the bench seat, trying to get comfortable. Within a few moments, she was asleep against the window, her breath fogging up the glass. Dean glanced over at her as he followed the impala down the two lane, occasionally passing another motorist.

Dean hummed a bit as he drove, anxious to get home to the bunker.

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"Wow..." Sam and Dean were carrying her things from the truck bed into the bunker. They set down the card catalog table in one of the spare bedrooms. "She has some cool shit." They looked around at her minimal belongings; a coat hanger made from old license plates with hooks welded on the front, an antique dresser that had old car door handles as drawer pulls and an old trunk, half full of bed linens and some shoes and clothes.

"You ain't kiddin'," The older hunter set a lamp on top of the card catalog consul. An old orange carjack served as the base, rust and all. At the end of the pull was a spark plug. "This is awesome."

"You think Bobby did this for her?"

"Probably." Dean watched Sam set her backpack down next to the open closet. "We should go get her." He glanced at his watch. "It's almost 3am."

They walked back down to the garage, where Riley was still sleeping in her truck. Dean tapped on the window and she startled awake before wrenching open the passnger door. "Where are we?" Her voice was small as her eyes moved around tha massive garage filled with antique cars and motorcycles. Her gaze returned to them questioningly.

"We're home." Sam said softly and she met his hazel eyes. "We unloaded all your stuff in your room." She glanced back at the now empty truck bed as she slid out. The brunette nodded and pulled her shoulder bag from the bench seat before Dean reached out to close the door. "C'mon, I'll show you around."

The trio entered the bunker and Riley was amazed. Her room was off the main living area and Dean pointed out their rooms as well. "Kitchen's down the hall to the left. Not sure what's left as far as food... might need to make a run tomorrow." The two men shared a look. "I'm gonna hit the hay." Dean spoke. "Night." Sam and Riley looked after him as he headed towards his bedroom.

"Riley, I'm sorry for prying about your dad." He was direct and she nodded, her eyes dropping to the floor.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I got pissed." Riley sighed, somewhat tearfully. "It's been a really long, strange day."

Sam smiled ruefully. "We kinda put your stuff wherever... If you need it moved, let me know." He crossed the hall to open her bedroom door and turned on her light. Her eyes got wide, seeing her prized posessions arranged carefully around the room. At the end of the bed, they'd placed her trunk. There was a nightstand next to the bed and her card catalog was next to the door, her jack lamp plugged in and setting on the corner. Her pencil box was on the nightstand and her bag was on the bed. "We don't have closets in any of the rooms, just that bar to hang your stuff." He paused. "I can get you some crates or something for underneath if you want."

"Thank you, Sam." Her tone was tired, but slightly more friendly this time.

"You yell if you need us." He nodded. "See you in the morning." The brunette nodded and he slipped out, clsosing the door behind him. Riley pulled some sheets out of her trunk and frowned when she saw that they wouldn't fit the bed; her dorm bed was a twin and this was a full sized one.

 _No_ _matter_ , she reasoned. She stretched the flat sheet over the mattress as much as possible before she looked around. A shower sounded nice and she pulled some pajamas out of her backpack to change into before opening her door. The low level lighting was on in the hallway and she couldn't hear a sound. Riley crept down the hallway to the bathroom and flipped on the light, closing and locking the door behind her.

She was still a little weary of the two men aforementioned in Bobby's letter; she didn't know them from Adam, but if Bobby trusted them, then she would also. Riley turned on the water and stripped down quickly, anxious to get under the hot water. She used the shampoo and soap sitting there, cursing herself for not grabbing her own bodywash. It smelled masculine and Riley closed her eyes, raising her face to the hot water to rinse off.

She cranked off the faucets and got out, using two white towels hanging on the rack. After dressing, Riley looked at her reflection; yesterday morning, she'd packed her belongings in her truck in Decorah after finishing her finals. She spent the last two summers at Bobby's and this was wasn't to be any different.

Except that it was.

Everything was.

He was gone and she was alone.

The sense of abandonment hit her in the chest and she gripped the countertop, trying to will herself not to cry again.

When Riley got ahold of herself a few moments later, she dared to look at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were swollen and she looked thoroughly exhausted. She pulled open one of the slim drawers and found a hairbrush. After running it through her hair, she plucked the few strands of hair from it before replacing it in the drawer. She shut off the light and headed down the hallway to her room to brush her teeth in the sink in her room.

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Dean couldn't sleep and he was sitting out in the war room, heel up on the table, legs crossed at the ankle. A mug of coffee sat in front of him, half full. He could hear Riley shuffling around in her room after getting a shower. He saw her shadow creeping up the hallway slowly and the corner of his mouth turned up in a smirk. "Hey Ry." She jumped, hand to her chest. "Sorry."

"Did I wake you up? I'm sorry, I was trying to be quiet." The brunette pushed her damp hair back, then crossed her arms over her chest shyly as she approached him. Green met brown and he eyed her before answering.

"Haven't gone to bed yet." Pause. "You want coffee?"

"Yeah." Riley turned to look in the direction of where she thought the kitchen was and Dean smiled a bit.

"I got it." He got up and pulled out the chair next to his. "Cream?"

"You got any liquor?"

"I think we might have some of that irish cream..."

"That'll do." His footsteps faded and she sank onto the wooden chair. Riley looked around the room at all the bookshelves and architecture of their home, suddenly noticing that there weren't any windows.

Anywhere.

Riley's heart rate sped up and she turned to see Dean coming up the hallway with a mug of coffee. "Riley." He moved behind her and sat down again, his eyes on her.

"Why aren't there any windows here?" Dean could hear trepidation in her question.

"We're underground."

Her hand moved to the mug. "What?"

Dean tried to gauge her emotion. "We're in a bunker. This is our home."

"Okay." The way she said that made his brow quirk.

"Riley, you're safe here."

"Okay." The brunette took a sip of her coffee.

"Look, I know you don't know us... but I swear, you're safe here." Dean waited until Riley met his intense gaze. "I won't let anything happen to you." He seemed sincere and her shoulders relaxed the tiniest bit. "Ry?"

"I was just thinking how stupid it was..." Riley murmured softly. "To get in a car with two men I don't even know after they had their guns on me and willingly let them take me to some underground bunker in another state in the middle of the night." Dean smirked a bit, hidden by his mug as he sipped his coffee. "Wow... I'd definitely be the first one dead in a horror movie."

Dean considered that. "I didn't even have to offer you candy." It was his attempt at a joke and her eyes twinkled.

"I'm... not gonna be the first one dead in this horror movie, right?" Her tone got serious.

"No." Riley watched him finish his coffee. "C'mon. It's late." He glanced at his watch. "Or really early. I'll walk ya to your room." Riley gulped down the rest of her rapidly cooling coffee before she rose with Dean. He reached out to shut the lamp down to the lowest setting before leading her to her room. Dean moved quietly as they walked and they stopped outside her door. He glanced inside, noting her ill fitting sheets. "You need some sheets."

"I'm fine for tonight. Really."

"Alright." He looked down at her. "You yell for us if you need anything." Riley nodded. "Night." He turned to go to his own room, leaving her staring after him.

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Hello all!

I had to work all weekend and tomorrow, but I wanted to get this posted for you guys. :) Please read and review!

CitrineMama


	6. Chapter 6

Riley woke up a few short hours later, her eyes widening when she didn't recognize the room she was in.

The Winchester boys.

The underground place they'd taken her.

Bobby was dead.

Tears welled up again in her eyes and she rolled over. Her gaze moved across her things where they'd arranged them in her room. Riley pushed up off the bed, glancing down at her sheets that weren't covering the mattress. She yawned and reached out for her cellphone on the nightstand. It was almost dead, but it read 8:13am.

She brushed her teeth in the sink before slipping on a bra under her tshirt. Riley unlocked her door and opened it, stepping into the tiled hallway. She could hear someone gargling in the bathroom as she headed towards the kitchen. She paused in the doorway as Dean spat in the sink. He wiped his mouth on the handtowel and saw her in the mirror. "Mornin'," He turned around to eye her.

Dean was wearing a pair of low riding lounge pants and his hair was sleep tousled. His green eyes looked tired, but he smiled a bit. Riley felt her cheeks get hot at the sight of him shirtless in front of her. "Morning." She paused. "You done? I just wanted to use the bathroom..."

"Yep." He moved by her and called over his shoulder. "I'm gonna go see what we have for breakfast."

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"Mustard, beer and some sad carrots." Sam closed the fridge door and turned to them. "You guys wanna head into town and get some breakfast and hit the grocery store afterwards?"

That's how the trio ended up heading into town in the impala ten minutes later. Riley felt sort of sick to her stomach from the lack of sleep, but it didn't even seem to faze either one of the boys. They got sandwiches at a sub shop before heading to the town's only market. Dean pulled a cart from the rack and leaned his forearms on it as they strolled the aisles.

Riley didn't say much, just observed them bantering back and forth like siblings about this or that while they shopped. Dean definitely was the least healthy of the two, with Sam going for fresher options. That made her smile to herself. About twenty minutes later, they'd checked out and were loading the trunk with several paper bags. They'd used a credit card to pay and she'd noticed that it wasn't Sam's name on it.

She didn't ask about it and they didn't comment either. When she got back to the bunker, Riley decided to charge her phone and look up any information on the two men she was staying with.

Bobby's letter was sitting there on the nightstand where she'd left it a few hours prior. She plugged in her phone next to the nightstand and jumped when she heard a knock at her door. "Yes?" Sam opened her door cautiously, bed linens in his hands.

"Dean said you needed some full sized sheets." He handed them to her gently, his hazel eyes on hers. "You okay?" That made her sigh softly and Riley broke her gaze, eyeing the pages folded in half. She met his concerned gaze again. "Look, I'll make you a cup of coffee or something and you can have some time to yourself." That was sweet of him and she smiled slightly at the guesture.

"That sounds nice." The brunette nodded.

"Cream and sugar?" A nod from her and Sam was gone. By the time he came back, the sheets were on her bed and she was sitting there, the letter in her lap. "Let me know if you need anything, Riley." Sam gave her a small smile before he ducked out, closing the door behind him.

 _Now, I don't want you to listen to what anyone says about these two idjits. They're amazing men and they would do anything for family and you know family don't end in blood. I don't care what the police or any authority says about them... they would die trying to protect you, Riley. Damn good men, I'll tell ya._

That made her put down the letter for a second.

Riley immediately grabbed her phone and googled Sam's name first.

He had apparently enrolled in some law school for a few years before dropping out. Misdemeanors like car theft, breaking and entering and such were listed as possible crimes. Riley set her phone in her lap for a moment, eyes on the door. Sam hadn't struck her as some small time criminal, she reasoned. He was sweet and though a little nosy about her past, he seemed fairly harmless to her.

 _Impersonating a federal officer, accomplices: see also Dean Winchester._

That's when shit got scary.

 _First degree murder, second degree murder, burglary, breaking and entering, assualt with a deadly weapon, assualting a police officer, escaping from federal prison, kidnapping, desicrating a grave, arson._

Oh my God.

Who the fuck _were_ these guys and why on earth did Bobby associate with them?

Riley's eyes stung with tears. She was so damn naive. Why did she think they were gonna be okay? They could have planted that letter from Bobby after they killed him. Her kidnapping had gone off withut a hitch, the brunette thought bitterly. She picked up Bobby's letter again.

 _The very worst thing you can do is to look up their records. Yeah, it looks bad, but I promise you, they're the good guys._

Riley folded the letter and stuck it in the front pocket of her hoodie before pulling on her running shoes. She had a knife in her drawer and she tucked it in her jeans. She fixed her ponytail and opened her door to walk dow to the war room, looking a hell of a lot more confident that she felt.

Dean was sitting at the table, looking at the laptop when she walked in, hands in her pocket. "Hey Riley."

She forced a smile. "I'm gonna take a walk. I need some air." Dean and Sam exchanged looks. "Am... I allowed to take a walk?"

"Of course." Dean gave her a strange look. "Just don't be gone too long, hm?" She nodded and walked up the curved staircase, her heart thudding wildly in her chest. Dean watched her go before they heard the domed door open and close. Sam frowned next to him.

"She seem... off to you?"

"She's trying to absorb all this crap we threw at her." The older man clicked on another news site on Sam's laptop. Sam turned on his heel and left the war room for a moment before he jogged back to his brother.

"Yeah right," He sounded upset and he set her cell phone down in front of Dean. His green eyes moved across the screen at his own rap sheet. "She's in her room, wanting to be alone and now she wants to take a _walk_?" A split second later, the two men were up the stairs, taking them two at a time.

She was about a hundred yards away from the bunker entrance on the rut filled earth, heading towards the main road. "Riley!" Dean called and she looked over her shoulder before she started to run. Dean watched his brother take off in her direction.

He jogged after them, losing sight of them around the bend. It had started to rain and thunder rumbled nearby, giving the appearance of fogginess.

Riley moved off the tire tracks and slid down the embankment several feet, mud soaking the bottom of her jeans. "Riley, stop." She heard Sam call out from above her. The brunette continued to dart through the underbrush, the rain making her clothing damp as she pushed through the thick foilage.

"Riley?" Sam's voice sounded a little farther away now and she slowed slightly, goosebumps on her skin and her heart still pounding in her chest.

A force from her left nearly took her breath away and she let out a soft cry as a strong hand wrapped around her upper arm, whirling her around to face Dean. She landed a slap to his face before her back was pushed up against the tree in front of her. Riley was crying softly and she opened her eyes to see Dean's emerald eyes staring down at her. Riley took another swing at the much larger man in front of her and he ducked this time. She landed a punch to his gut and he grunted before he managed to wrestle her down to the damp earth.

"Damnit, Ry," Dean finally gained control over the feisty brunette, pinning her wrists next to her shoulders. He was straddling her hips, her knees in a very dangerous place. "Don't you dare kick me." His firm tone made her eyes close. Dean could feel her trembling beneath him. "Why did you run?"

"Please don't kill me." Riley's voice was shaking and he caught his breath. "Please. I won't ever tell anyone. Just please... let me go." His hands were gripping her wrists. Dean let go instantly, hearing her voice break. He sat back on his heels, her thighs between his.

"Sweetheart," Dean waited until her eyes opened, focusing on his green ones. "We're not killing you." He moved off her, helping her to her feet, her hands in his.

"Riley?" Sam's voice was closer now and she could hear twigs and leaves snapping and rustling as he approached them. "Why did you run?" She was crying openly now, Dean in front of her. The two men shared a look. "Ry?"

"You guys are psychopaths. Please... Just let me go. Don't kill me."

"Riley," Dean's left hand came up to push her messy hair back from her face, plucking a leaf away. "We're not killing you. C'mon and let's go inside."

"No." Her whisper was hushed.

Dean's hand found hers, moving her small hand to the crook of his arm. "C'mon. Let's go get cleaned up and we'll get something to eat and we all can sit down and talk." Numbly, she let herself be led back to the arched stone doorway in the side of the hill.

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A/N:

Hello lovely readers!

I own no SPN characters, only my OC Riley. Thank you for reading and reviewing!

CitrineMama


	7. Chapter 7

Dean led Riley back down the bunker steps as more tears fell down her cheeks silently. She flinched when Sam pulled the iron door closed behind them. Once downstairs in the war room, Sam pulled out a chair and she sat down at the table, her eyes down. He set her phone down in front of her, thumbing on her screen, still on their criminal records she'd found online.

"Riley," Sam sat down across from her. "Yeah, we have records... Why didn't you ask?"

She didn't answer and didn't dare look at Dean. "Did Bobby say anything else about us?" Dean asked from behind her.

"That I shouldn't believe anything I hear." Sam looked up at his brother.

"What do you wanna know? Ask us anything, Riley."

"At the grocery store... you paid with a credit card with someone else's name on it..." The two men glanced at one another. "Who are you really?"

"We told you," Sam spoke patiently. "Riley, we don't exactly get paid for what we do..." She wiped her tears back and she felt Dean leave her side for a moment. "We scam credit cards to pay for our living expenses. It's not exactly ideal or honest, but..."

Dean returned then and his hand came into her vision with a couple napkins. She accepted them and wiped her nose, nodding her thanks. "You're free to go at anytime, Riley." His voice made her relax slightly. "But you were important to Bobby... he'd want us to keep you safe."

Riley let out a breath, wanting to settle her nerves. This situation was just too bizaare and she just wanted to go back to Bobby's house and see him there, cooking something in the kitchen. The very thought made her eyes well up again. She closed her eyes when she felt Sam's arm around her shoulders. "Riley... I'm so sorry. Bobby never wanted this for you." Pause. "He kept this from you to protect you." Sam felt her nod against his shoulder.

The trio was quiet for a few minutes before Dean spoke. "Riley, why don't you take some time and read some more of Bobby's letter? Maybe that will help explain any questions you have." Her eyes moved to his emerald ones. "If it doesn't, ask us next time, hm?" The brunette nodded slightly.

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 _Let me tell ya something. Those two boys are family to me. Like sons, really. They will have you at your worst and do everything in their power to protect the ones they love. They will never be too busy to drop everything they have on their plates and do what needs to be done without bitchin' about it._

 _Riley, don't judge their story by the chapter you come in on... I'm not sure whether they'll come find you or you'll contact them, but they have never known about you until now, that's for damn sure. I fought damn hard to keep you from this life. Your daddy never wanted this for you and I never did either._

 _I haven't talked to your daddy in a few years. One thing he would be, though, is proud of the woman you've become. He always imagined you'd go to some big college and make something out of yourself. I don't know if you'd even be interested in seeing him, if he's still even around, but I'll leave you with his last contact information. The choise is completely up to you. I know you probably still have a million questions and with your momma gone, he may be the only option you haven't tried._

Riley had to set the letter down for a few minutes as tears poured down her cheeks. Sam was sitting on the couch next to her as she read. Dean had left them alone to make some sandwiches for lunch. He side eyed her, not wanting to make her feel any more uncomfortable than she already was.

 _Another thing you should be aware of, is if you do decide to let those boys keep you safe, your daddy wouldn't be happy about that. At all. He and John Winchester had a falling out several years ago and damn near can't stand the sight of each other. He'd probably be pissed off as all hell if he knew you were involved with the Winchesters, so remember this in whatever decision you decide to make._

"Your daddy's John Winchester?" Riley looked over at Sam, who met her eyes before nodding. "Bobby mentioned him... said that our dads... didn't get along." His brows went up a bit at that bit of information.

"Are you gonna try and find your dad?"

"I don't know." Riley folded the letter in half, then in half again. "I can't believe I never knew about... any of this." Her eyes moved from the latter to his hazel gaze. "I'm sorry... I got scared. I'm sorry I ran."

"The things they accuse us of... they're scary to look at on paper like that." His voice was gentle, his eyes soft and friendly. "Riley, I read my letter. Bobby wanted us to find you if something ever happened... Let you know everything and let you decide what you wanted." Sam suddenly remembered Dean coming during the night to get him at Stanford 10 years prior. "I remember thinking how crazy all this crap was when my brother came for me at school years ago." His tone was wistful. "But it's up to you. Ball's in your court, Riley."

She smiled ruefully. "When you brought me here and unpacked all my stuff, you kinda decided for me, Sam."

His dimple deepened. "I'd like to think that you'd stay with us so we could protect you... although you sure didn't look like you needed much protection against Dean out there." That made her smile a little.

"I didn't mean to..."

"I know." Dean's deep voice made her jump; she hadn't heard him approach them again. "I made some sandwiches..." Sam looked at Riley expectantly and she nodded before she and Sam rose to follow the older man to the bunker kitchen. Dean had made lemonade also and the trio sat down to eat at the metal kitchen table.

"I'm sorry, Dean... for earlier."

Her soft apology made him smile and he swallowed his bite. "It's fine. I get it."

"Did... you know my dad?"

"I don't know... Dad never really worked with anyone else. It was very rare for him to do that." Sam sipped his drink, the ice cubes clinking gently. "You know what his name is?"

Her eyes narrowed, her gaze snapping to Sam's. "Of course I do."

Sam held up his hand. "I was just asking."

Dean finished half of his sandwich and cleared his throat. "Guys, relax. We just need to let the dust settle here for a few days. No decision has to be made about anything today. Alright?" He saw the young woman relax a bit. They quieted then and Riley took a bite of her sandwich, suddenly starving. The two boys shared a look over her head before Sam shrugged slightly and Dean nodded.

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	8. Chapter 8

_If you're reading this, I'm gone. Again._

 _I won't sit here and tell you how much I love you and care about you because I know you know. When I'd tease ya and tell ya you were my favorite, it's because you are._

 _Don't tell your brother._

 _Anyways, I am sorry for this next part here. There's some secrets I've kept and many lies I've told you. A long time ago, when I first got into hunting, I come across a hunter. He had a regular life. Wife and kid. Real picket fence type shit. She hated him hunting and gave him a choice. He chose to leave his family to keep them safe._

 _I've been living some normal life part time that you and your brother never knew about. I went to dance recitals, soccer games, school plays and watched her go to prom with some idjit that wasn't good enough to clean the mud off her tires. Watched her get her heart broken by that asshole too. She deserves better._

 _All you kids do._

 _She grew up good and spent every spring break here and sent me cards and texts weekly. Some summers, she'd spent a few weeks here before heading home to her mama._

He paused for a moment, racking his brain and trying to remember Bobby acting strangely towards he and Sam when in reality, he was hiding this huge secret from them.

 _There was this one March when you two boys were here crashing for the weekend after that run in with those kids with that damn ghost hunting show or whatever. She was on her way from school and I kinda had to usher you out of here before she got here. Not that I didn't care about ya two idjits, it was just that I didn't want her involved in this crap that consumed our lives and damn near sucked 'em dry._

 _Anyways, if I'm gone, I want you to find Riley if she hasn't found you two yet. She's a student over at Luther University in Decorah, Iowa. Minored in biblical languages, so you mind find her informative. Be honest with her. No doubt she'll be overwhelmed at anything you tell her, but I think she'll be alright. Tough kid. Like you boys. She will give you forgiveness when you don't ask. Riley will see the very best in_ both _you boys, even when all_ you _see is pain and scars and darkness. She is honest and trustworthy and I expect you boys will keep her safe for me._

 _Don't think for one second that I won't find some damn way to pierce the veil and kick your asses._

That part made him smile and he folded the letter in half, feeling like that was a good place to stop for tonight. Dean didn't want to get all misty eyed over this and somewhere, he knew Bobby would laugh at him if (and when) he did.

He marveled at the fact that Bobby was able to balance two lives, two worlds, good and evil the way he had without one damn person knowing it. Bobby was being a father figure to both he and Sam in their fucked up world and being a dad to this young woman when her own father walked out of her life nearly two decades ago. He'd done the best he could with both parties, Dean was damn sure of that. Making sure he and Sam felt safe and cared for everytime they came to the home that was a safe haven for them. Made sure they filled their bellies and rested their heads, even if they were just there for a night.

Well if that shit wasn't parallel, he wasn't sure what was.

At the same time, Dean couldn't help but to feel jealousy churning in the pit of his stomach. It wasn't fair of him to feel that way and he damn well knew it. He could always sort of sense some semblence of guilt radiating off Bobby, but hell, find him a hunter who didn't and you'd find yourself a liar.

He pushed off the end of his bed to stand, folding the letter over one more time. A few steps brought him to his desk and Dean opened his desk drawer and tucked the letter inside, wanting to finish it later. _Savor_ _it_. It would be like talking to Bobby for the very last time and then never again until he got to heaven.

If he ever got there.

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Riley was sitting on the couch talking to Sam quietly when the older man came back down to the war room. They glanced up at him but continued their quiet conversation. His younger brother was _always_ better at getting women to reveal themselves; Dean was always better at getting them out of their clothes.

 _Two different kinds of exposed,_ Dean mused wryly. _I'd rather be physically naked than emotionally._ That would be much more out of his element and he didn't do uncomfortable feelings.

 _Ever_.

He poured himself a drink despite the hour and sat down in front of Sam's laptop and turned it on, scooting in his chair closer to the lighted table. Sam had his arm across the back of the couch as he spoke to the young woman next to him. She was less anxious that she'd been an hour before, when she'd run off.

Sam smiled down at her before getting up to approach his brother. "Hey listen... she's gonna be alright. I know this sucks royally..." Dean nodded up at his little brother. "She's not gonna run. Riley said she's staying here with us." He saw the concern flickers over the older hunter's features for a second. His voice lowered considerably. "Dean, she might be able to help us here..."

"Minored in biblical studies." His voice was low, but it fell on Riley's ears anyways. She didn't turn around though, just listened. "I know... read part of my letter..." Sam's expression softened. "I'm not exactly chomping at the bit to dump anything else on her right now, so _don't_..." A tense silence followed and Riley could feel the exchange getting heated, albeit silently behind her, mostly law clenches and pointed looks. "I mean it."

"Fine." Was Sam's retreat. Riley looked up when he appeared next to her again. She forced a small smile, her letter still in her lap. He took his spot next to her again and heard the scrape of Dean's chair as he stood up, finished his morning whiskey. His calloused hand reached out to close the laptop again. Sam turned to look at his older brother for a second when he heard the now empty glass tumbler being set down on the table.

"I'm going down to the gun range..." Was all he said, his tone gruff. His bootfalls retreated from the room, the lack of his presence making the room feel very large. Sam shifted again, his hazel eyes meeting hers.

"Bobby's letter said you minored in biblical studies?"

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A/N:

Sorry I haven't posted in over a week on this... work, mommy, wife balance was a bit off.

Anyways, I feel like we see a bit of post hell Dean here... having his morning eye opener. Always makes me sad he was drinking like that. :( I deal with so many souls in my line of work that remind me of him and each one makes me thankful for the life I have. Like these people have a heart of gold but are so stuck in their own internal emotional turmoil they can't even see the good inside them.

I'm fairly positive that the next chapter will be a little darker and may have a trigger warning.

Thanks for stopping by! Leave me a review!

CitrineMama


	9. Chapter 9

A/N:

Alright guys... TRIGGER WARNING for self harm in this chapter. Not too graphic, but I did want to let you know before you started reading. I dedicate this chapter to my sister, who is no longer in my life. She started self harming about 13 years ago and it tears me apart that she felt like that at 18 years old and undoubtedly still does as an adult.

If you or someone you love is suffering, please reach out to them. If they let you in, fantastic. Be a friend and be there. If they close down and shut you out, they know that the offer is there if (and when) they're ready to talk.

 **You are never alone. My inbox is always open.**

Love you guys.

CitrineMama

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Her heart was pounding in her chest. She'd had enough.

 _Of everything._

There was too much information and secrets dumped on her in the last four weeks to last her a fuckin' lifetime. This hunt the boys and Riley were coming back from did her in; the boys were arguing nonstop since they'd left the bunker yesterday morning and Riley left them in the war room behind her. She wasn't exactly sure why there was so much tension between them lately and neither one wanted to talk about it.

The brunette slipped into the bathroom, still reeling from the couple of close calls on her first hunt, closing the door softly behind her. Sam had saved her ass at the last minute and for some reason, Dean was angry and brooding and they'd bitched at one another all the way back to the car, to the motel while they packed their things and continued that argument on the ride home to the bunker.

In the backseat, Riley had sat hunched over for the ride home, tears stinging her eyes and her hands over her ears, trying to block the two men out. Her chest was tight and her heart was pounding, a panic attack on the horizon. Neither man seemed to notice the effect their constant turmoil was having on her, not even Sam.

After closing the bathroom door firmly behind her, she'd gone through the cabinet behind the mirror in their shared bathroom, finding what she was looking for almost immediately. Her hands were shaking and she just wanted to stop feeling like this.

She'd been clean for so long, but something inside her snapped.

It felt both familiar and foreign, the sharp sting of the cold metal razor across the sensitive skin on her wrist. Her chocolate eyes watched the crimson beads well up before she made another cut, a little deeper this time. Blood trickled down to her forearm and she sank down on the edge of the tub, mesmorized by the cool air hitting and chilling the thin red river against her pale skin.

Another cut.

Another.

 _One more._

The warmth dripped down off her elbow and onto the tiled floor in the all white bathroom. She barely flinched as she sat there, the porcelin tub chilling her thighs right through her jeans. All Riley could hear was a rushing in her ears. Her adrenaline was running at a full high and she didn't even hear her name being called, the sharp knock on the door or even it opening.

All at once, the blade slipped from her fingers as she was yanked to her feet by a pair of warm calloused hands. " _Sonovabitch_." He growled softly and Riley blinked back the tears she didn't even know were spilling over.

 _Dean_.

The hot water turned on then and she felt him tug her toward to the sink to rinse her arm off under the water before cranking the tap back off, pressing the beige handtowel on the counter top to the underside of her wrist firmly. He didn't say anything.

 _Didn't scold her._

 _Didn't ask her why._

 _Didn't even yell for his brother._

Dean just left her standing there for a moment to close the bathroom door and lock it to ensure privacy before crossing the bathroom to tend to Riley's wounds.

It was completely and utterly silent and she could feel her own heartbeat in her ears.

Dean pulled open the cabinet she'd opened a few moments prior and pulled a brown bottle down, unscrewing the white cap. Her eyes closed at the familiar sting of peroxide against her flesh before she felt Dean blotting the area gently, his studious gaze asessing her skin. He pressed the heel of his hand against the perfect slices, his warm fingers wrapping her wrist. Her blood was on his hands and Dean didn't even flinch at that, just continued to hold pressure to stop the bleeding.

She couldn't help but to stare at his face as he maintained the firm pressure, not meeting her eyes. He checked to see if she would need stitches before reaching for some gauze and tape in the drawer. He tore the tape with his teeth, holding the makeshift dressing in place with his thumb. Dean took care as he worked, his touch firm, but gentle.

 _Freckles_.

Dean had freckles across his nose and cheeks that'd she'd never noticed before now. Riley realized this was the closest she'd ever been to him. His clear green eyes finally moved from her left wrist to her ashamed gaze. Still, Dean said nothing and he just stared at the brunette for a few seconds, gauging her sense of mind. Her breath was coming in little pants and he undoubtedly noticed that too.

He left her side momentarily to wipe her blood off the tiled floor near the tub with a disinfectant wipe and moved to clean out the sink as well. He tossed the wipe into the trashcan before washing his hands. Dean wiped them off on his shirt instead of the bloody handtowel. He tossed that in the trashcan too. "We're going for a drive." Was all the hunter said.

He carefully tugged down her flannel sleeve over the dressing and buttoned it. His fingers linked into hers before he unlocked and opened the bathroom door. He led her down the hallway towards the war room. "Sammy? We're going for a drive. We'll be back after a bit." Dean called into the kitchen as they passed by, heading towards the garage.

Once there, he opened the passenger door for her and she slid in numbly. The familiar purr of the engine made her relax a bit and he pulled out, heading towards the main road. Her eyes were downcast on her lap, her shoulders tensed up and a knot in her stomach, just waiting for him to explode on her.

Still, Dean said nothing.

A half hour later, they came upon an ice cream stand and he pulled in and backed into a spot where they were facing the building. There were people everywhere on the warm summer evening and he'd chosen a perfect spot to people watch. "Stay here." She nodded as he got out and crossed the gravel lot. He returned a few minutes later with two milkshakes. "Strawberry or chocolate?"

"Strawberry." Her voice was shy and he handed her the cup through his window before he opened the driver side door with his free hand.

Dean closed his door and settled back, taking a sip of his shake, his eyes on the group of teenagers ordering at the window. "I understand why you did what you did."

That was the _last_ thing Riley thought would come out of his mouth.

"I'm so tired." Was all she could whisper.

He sipped his shaked through his straw. "Yeah, I know the feeling," Pause. "I don't ever," Dean turned and his bright green eyes focused on hers. " _Ever_ want you to do that again." Her chest heaved once as she held in a sob. "I couldn't take it if something happened to you, Riley." That was the last thing she expected to come out of his mouth.

She must have looked at him like he had three heads because he smirked before his gaze shifted from her to the windshield again, sipping on his chocolate shake. "I care about you, Ry. Dont act surprised."

So many times, she'd felt like she'd been in the way of the boys, even though she helped with research and whatever they needed. The brunette sipped on her shake, barely tasting it. "Are you mad at me?"

"Why would I be mad?" Dean sounded surprised at her question.

She shrugged somewhat sadly, avoiding his eyes again. "Are you gonna tell Sam?"

Beside her, the hunter shifted in the driver's seat. "What happened tonight is between me and you." Dean paused, gaining her full attention, his gaze still on the brunette. "Hey Ry?"

"Yeah?" Riley's voice was getting softer and softer. Her eyes dropped again to her shake, her trembling hand stirring the light pink ice cream with her straw.

"I _know_ you've been through some tough crap. I get it. I'm not gonna sit here and preach to you about how wrong it is and how no one should ever feel that way." That made the brunette meet his intense gaze again. "Because the truth is, we've _all_ felt that way. Like we've got no other choice."

Riley reached up to wipe a tear back. She didn't expect such a heartfelt confession from the man next to her. "Sweetheart?" Her eyes were welled up again. "If you ever feel that way again, _please_ come to me. I don't care what time it is or what I'm in the middle of... just come to me. We don't even have to talk about it if you don't wanna." Dean paused. "Promise me."

"I promise." Her whisper was somewhat hoarse.

"Good." They finished their milkshakes and Dean got out to throw away their cups.

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	10. Chapter 10

_There's more to this story. Dean and Sam have an angel in ther back pocket._

 _What_? Riley thought, pausing there. She'd decided to read the next page of her message from Bobby. His letter was spilling secrets and she wasn't emotionally prepared for this one either. First the bombshell about the real hunting he did, then the Winchester boys and their dad and her father. It made her question her whole freaking existance and frankly, that thought alone made her rather unnerved to be reading Bobby's careful print as he told her about his real life.

And hers as well.

 _He's one of the good ones. I know your studies have probably said that they're all good, but just trust me on this. His name is Castiel. He is an actual angel of heaven and he was seemingly assigned to Dean by God, I guess. He and Dean have gone through some crazy, depressing, awful shit together, but that's another set of stories for another time. Not my place to share and I highly doubt Dean ever will share._

 _That boy don't do feelings. Just know he'd sacrifice his own happiness for yours. Any day of that damned week._

 _As far as Castiel goes... if you ever need him, just pray to him and he'll be there. He is family too and I would trust him with your life as well as my two boys. He's a good egg._

That made Riley smile affectionately as Bobby referring to the Winchester brothers as his boys.

 _Castiel has pulled all of our asses out of the fire at one time or another and he will be right there on the front lines with you kids, fighting the good fight. He has some magical angel mojo and he can heal you._

That made her eyes roll back. Yeah, if this angel Castiel could magically heal her panic attacks and anxiety, that would be a miracle. They'd plagued her as long as Riley could remember, even back through her childhood. Since she'd been old enough to know her dad was gone. Her self harm started when she was a young teen and that was probably one of her ugliest secrets. _That one chapter everyone has in their lives that they don't read out loud._

Tears stung her eyes as she sat in the privacy of her bunker bedroom. Riley was laying on her stomach on her bed, clutching the letter in her hands. She wanted to ask the boys about the angel and find out more about him, her curiosity getting the best of her. The two men had insisted if she had any questions, she should come to them this time and they'd be honest with her. After that little incident with her taking off in the woods after looking up their criminal records, Sam and Dean had been open and honest with her, save for whatever they'd been arguing about recently.

Her bible sat on her card catalog table. She read almost daily and she couldn't remember the name of that particular angel and her mind was turning the pages she'd read over and over again.

Riley folded the letter in half and sat up. She, too, wanted to drag the letter out as long as possible, knowing this would be the last time she'd read it for the first time. It was like Bobby would really be gone after the last page and she wasn't quite ready for that. Riley stuck the letter inside of her bible after she unzipped out the cover, smoothing her hand over the inside of the fabric cover. Her orange highlighter was tucked in its slot and she stared at it for a second.

She returned to her bed and knelt down at the side, closing her eyes and folding her hands for the first time since she'd been brought to the bunker, finally ready to pray for the first time since she learned about Bobby's death.

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"She could be of help to us, Dean. To you." Castiel's monotone made Dean roll his eyes. They were in the war room, discussing what the hell to do about the mark on his arm, his little gift from Cain a few months ago.

For the millionth _fucking_ time.

"Keep Riley outta this. She has enough crap going on." The older hunter snapped angrily. Sam gave him a puzzled look, waiting for him to elaborate. Three weeks ago, Dean and Riley had left the bunker abruptly after their last hunt for ice cream.

 _Ice cream._

"That's another thing, Dean." Sam was half sitting on the table, his arm folded across his chest. "What's with you and Riley, hm? You went out for ice cream?" His brother shot him a deadly glare, telling him to shut his mouth. Sam continued to stare at him, ignoring the angry avoidance in his brother's expression. "Really."

"That's not for me to share." Was all Dean said.

"What the hell's going on with you two?" Sam persisted and Castiel could sense the unease between the two brothers.

The two men were staring at one another, Dean's jaw clenching angrily. Suddenly, the angel made a face, wincing as if he were in pain. "Cas, what's wrong?" Sam's focus moved to Castiel who was now turned towards the sleeping quarters. His brow wrinkled as it always did when he was tuning into angel radio. Dean rose from the chair he'd been sitting in as Sam straightened to his full height, intuned to the angel's movements. Castiel paused, not answering Sam's question.

"Cas?" Dean tried and suddenly, Castiel was gone in a fluttering of wings.

The two men looked at one another in confusion, their argument momentarily forgotten before they heard a scream echo through the bunker.

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The sense of pressure change made her eyes pop open and Riley looked to her left, a small blast of air making her hair blow back from her tearstained cheeks.. A dark haired man in a trenchcoat, suit and tie was standing there, looking down at her with the bluest eyes she'd ever seen. She screamed and he didn't flinch. "You pray extremely loudly. I _can_ hear you, you know."

Two sets of heavy bootsfalls preceded Sam pushing open her bedroom door without knocking. "Riley?" The brunette was up off her knees and in his arms in a second and Castiel remained standing there at the foot of her bed, his intense gaze on the russet haired woman tucked against Sam's side. "Castiel?" The angel tilted his head slightly, still studying the young woman, who was clearly frightened and confused. Her fingers were clutching Sam's open flannel shirt.

"She was praying so loudly, it was hard to concentrate." He said simply, as if that were enough. Sam looked over at his brother, who'd stepped inside Riley's bedroom for the first time since she'd moved in six weeks before. He could feel Riley trembling against him and he felt a sudden sense of guilt that she was even involved in this.

Two months ago, she'd been some normal college student, probably eating pizza with her friends and staying up late studying for finals, hanging out on campus and just being normal. That thought made his own chest tighten; Sam had a hard time even remembering what his own normal college experience was like before the night Dean came to him, asking him to help find their dad.

Before Jess died.

Before everything that was scary and bad came waltzing back into his life.

Still, Sam hugged her close to his side under his right arm, wanting to provide some sense of comfort to the young woman who had been like a surrogate daughter to Bobby. He owed him that much and he looked over to Dean, whose gaze was a mixutre of angry and annoyed as it fixated on the angel in her bedroom.

Dean felt her warm hand on his forearm as she reached out to him unconsciously, safely between the two brothers now, her scared eyes locked on the third man in her room. "Dean, can you please take Cas outta here and have _another_ talk with him about privacy in the bedrooms?" Sam's voice held some annoyance and Riley felt Dean's right hand pat her hand reassuringly.

Riley moved into Sam some, gripping his tshirt as Dean stepped aside to allow Castiel to exit her bedroom before he followed him down the hallway towards the war room.

Sam looked down, watching the young woman look after them as they disappeared around the corner. "Ry?" It was the first time Sam had spoken her name without some sort of underlying wariness in his tone. "Riley, you alright?"

"He said I was praying too loudly." She looked up into his hazel eyes. "He could... hear me?" Sam sighed before glancing over at her bed, noting her open bible, highlighter and a small notebook tucked inside of her biblecover. "Sam?"

"Sit down, we need to talk."

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Good afternoon, readers!

I'm getting ready to go on vacation for a couple weeks, so hopefully you enjoyed this chapter and I'd love if you left a review for me to read when I get home. Feed my muse! :) Have a wonderful day!

CitrineMama


	11. Chapter 11

This was her fourth hunt with the boys. Just a simple salt and burn this time and Riley was so thankful for that. They'd suffered minimal damage between the three of them and it would be a simple patch job or maybe a couple of stitches here or there.

 _No big deal,_ Sam murmured softly, inspecting her knee, exposed and bloody where her jeans were torn. _We'll get ya cleaned up back at the motel._

 _Some fashion trend_ , she'd thought wryly as she watched him look her over. _Who would ever willingly buy torn jeans?_

Dean just nodded along. He'd been rather quiet during the hunt and really, all evening. He'd picked at his burger at the bar prior to their ghost hunt and just had this angry air about him. Sam seemed to instinctively sense that his brother didn't want to be spoken to and Riley felt unnerved by the lack of conversation between the two brothers.

The car ride back was quiet and Dean didn't even bother with the radio. Riley leaned back in the backseat behind Sam, her gaze moving back and forth between the barely visible night time scenery and to Dean's profile. His jawline was tight and she continued to stare at him, knowing something was very wrong.

Sam sighed next to him, keeping his gaze on the road ahead and it was a long twenty minute drive back.

Riley reached out to inspect her knee in the darkness of the car and her fingers came away wet with blood. She winced at the sting and wiped her hand on her thigh. She'd always kind of been a bleeder and this was certainly no exception. She felt her shoulders relax some when the neon lights of the came into view. Dean parked at the end of the lot like he always did and the engine cut off before the trio got out.

Sam unlocked the door and went inside first, flipping on the light. Riley tensed when she felt Dean's hand on her lower back as he let her go inside the motel room next behind his brother.

"Dean, you wanna go first?" The older man didn't answer, just locked the door behind him before heading to the bathroom. The water turned on a moment later and Riley sat down the end of one of the beds, leaning over to inspect the damage to her knee. "You want me to clean that up?"

"I'll shower first," Her voice was quiet, barely audible over the running shower. "No sense in cleaning it up and getting the bandage all wet." Riley reached out for some leftover paper napkins on the table to press against her skin.

"You one of those factor five carriers?" Sam's question confused her.

"Excuse me?"

Sam shuffled around in his duffle for clothes. "Those people with the inherited bleeding disorder... takes you a long time to clot off." His studious hazel eyes moved back to the clean clothing in his hands.

"Not that I know of... always been like this, I guess." Their eyes met and thankfully, there was no sympathy in his face and she relaxed a bit, knowing Dean had kept his promise about her secret relapse a few weeks ago.

The shower water shut off a few seconds later and he nodded to Riley. "You go next." She pushed up off the bed and got out some pajama pants, underwear and a tshirt before the bathroom door opened and Dean came out. He was shirtless with a beige motel towel around his waist. Riley averted her eyes from his body and she couldn't help but to notice an odd scar on his forearm as she passed him, the door closing behind her.

She showered quickly, wanting to leave some hot water for Sam. Riley didn't bother with conditioner after her shampoo; there was leave in stuff in her bag. She was rinsing off when the two men's low, angry voices carried into the bathroom and Riley strained to hear them. Dean had been on edge lately and neither of the two wanted to discuss that with her for whatever reason. She shut the warm water off and stepped out to dry off before setting the towel in the sink, glancing down at her leg.

She slipped on her underwear carefully after pulling on her tshirt, deciding against the pants until she'd had that knee covered, not wanting to ruin the little bit of clothing she had. She took a deep breath and opened the door, stepping out. Dean was in his lounge pants now, a white tshirt on. Sam was standing there outside the bathroom, holding his clothes and she nodded to him, a small smile on her mouth as he nodded back silently. He moved by her and the bathroom door closed behind him.

"C'mere." Dean reached out to her from where was was sitting on the end of the bed. She moved to him and his warm hands inspected her knee. He had the medical kit next to his thigh and patted the bed to his right, nearest the bathroom door. He reached forward for the wastepaper basket to put in front of him.

Riley sat down slowly and Dean shifted a bit to face her more. She held her breath as he carefully moved her left knee over his right thigh, his calloused hands inspecting her skin. "You alright?"

She just nodded as he glanced up at her.

He pulled out the peroxide and a couple cotton balls. He placed his forefinger against the cotton ball over the top of the brown bottle, soaking it as he tilted the fluid downward, then rightside up again. He blotted the scrape carefully and she watched him smooth over the skin gently, cleaning it thoroughly. He tossed the blood smeared cotton into the trash. Dean took out a four inch by four inch package and unpeeled the edge before placing it over her knee. It wasn't gauze and Dean spoke, as if reading her mind. "This won't stick to ya when it comes off." Riley nodded. He placed it over her injured skin and held it there with his left thumb. "Hold here for me while I tape it." Her small thumb replaced his and he pulled out a roll of tape.

Again, he tore the tape with his teeth before carefully securing the edges, making her flash back to when he'd banadaged her wrist after last month's incident. Before Riley's hand could return to her lap, Dean's strong hand caught her wrist. He turned her hand over and inspected his handiwork, smoothing a thumb over her soft skin. Her skin healed nicely, just the faintest of scars and for a brief second, he wondered how many times she'd done that and the scars disappeared over time.

Green met brown and she bit her lip, embarassed. Dean's left arm came around her shoulders without warning, her wrist still in his grasp between his chest and hers. Her eyes closed when he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "You can always come to me, Ry." Was all he murmured, his words barely audible over the sound of Sam's shower. "Alright?"

"Alright." Dean let her go and patted the side of her knee before sliding it off his lap. He averted his eyes when she stood up to get her pajama pants on. He moved to wash his hands in the sink and she sat down on the end of the bed after getting a wide toothed comb for her hair.

Dean returned to her side and sat down, watching her squirt some orange stuff into her palm. She smoothed it into her hair and the smell hit his nose. It was light and pleasant and he watched her toss the bottle back into her open duffle on the dresser before working the comb through her shoulder length brown hair. "I need to get my hair cut soon." Riley mumured to herself as she worked through a tangle at the ends.

"You want me to cut it?" Dean asked quietly and she turned to him, surprise on her features. "You're serious?" His tone was incredulous when she had a sincere look.

"If you have scissors, yeah. I don't have layers or anything."

Once Dean got over the idea of a woman letting some man cut her hair without any qualms at all, he spoke. "I have scissors." He rose again and got a rather old looking pair out of the side zipper of his bag. "Just sharpened 'em." She shifted so her back was to him. "How do you want me to..."

"Just straight across. Take like an inch off."

Dean was cutting her hair carefully when the water shut off and Sam came out of the bathroom a moment later. He looked surprised at his grunt of a brother cutting Riley's hair, but he chose not to comment. He shoved his dirty clothing in the laundry bag next to their duffles. Dean finished trimming and tossed the ends he'd snipped into the trashcan.

Sam sat down on one of the chairs by the window and saw Riley run her fingers through her damp hair. She thanked Dean softly and he just nodded as he got up to replace his scissors in his bag. He gave her a small smile, the corners of his eyes creasing just a bit as he did so. Her gaze met Sam's and she moved over to the table by the window and picked up her water bottle she'd left there earlier. She took a sip before fighting back a yawn. "I'm gonna go to bed." The brunette murmured softly. Sam nodded and Dean flopped back on his bed, always silently claiming the one closest to the door. "Where do you want me to..."

"Here." Dean's gruff reply surprised them both. Sam leaned forward a bit to eye his brother. The older man's gaze was on the young woman and she recapped her water bottle before setting it back down again.

"M'kay." She nodded and smiled a little at Sam, whose eyebrows were up a bit. "Night Sam." Her hand reached out to pat his as it rested on the cheap wooden table.

"Night." He murmured, watching Riley move around to the other side of the bed and tug back the covers on her side, Dean still laying on top of them on his. His hands were folded behind his head and he relaxed visibly when she snuggled into the scratchy sheets, facing him. Dean looked over at her and their eyes met for a few seconds before the scrape of Sam's chair interrupted their gaze.

"I'll leave the bathroom light on." The younger man spoke softly as he moved across the room to shut off the lamp on the dresser between the two queens. A couple seconds passed in the dark room before the bathroom light came on and Sam closed the door most of the way, allowing a small bit of light into the room.

"Thank you." Came Riley's soft voice and Sam smiled a bit, knowing she was rightfully afraid of the dark. The mattress squeaked as he flopped onto his own queen bed. He shifted around for a few minutes before he settled in for the night.

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Good morning lovely readers!

Hope you are still with me on Riley's journey into finding out who she really is and why her life wasn't quite what she thought it was. I greatly appreciate your feedback. Have a wonderful day!

CitrineMama


	12. Chapter 12

_The week before... (after the hunt)_

 _Dean had led the man in the trenchcoat out of her bedroom and Sam looked after them for a few seconds before he stopped inside her room, his hand on the small of Riley's back. She sat down on the side of her bed slowly and he pulled the wooden chair from the corner to sit._

 _"Castiel is an angel." He paused thoughtfully. "He's still learning human behaviors. He means no harm."_

 _"He can hear me pray?"_

 _"Yes."_

 _"Why me? Only me?"_

 _"Dean too."_

 _Riley looked to the doorway, then back to Sam. "So he knows why?"_

 _"Why what?"_

 _"Why I've gone through everything I've gone through? Why everyone I loved was taken from me?" She was getting angry and Sam's eyes widened a bit, not expecting that type of reaction from the young woman who sat in front of him. "Has he watched me suffer all this time? Because if that's the case, I'm gonna kill him."_

 _"Easy... I don't think that's exactly the case here."_

 _Riley got up, suddenly going from freaked out to furious. "I wanna talk to him."_

 _"Let's just relax here a minute..." Sam could feel her temple flaring and it reminded him of how quickly Dean could flip his internal switch with the Mark his arm. She rose and started to leave her bedroom. "Just wait a minute."_

 _"Fuck that. Where's that angel of yours?" Sam got up and followed Riley down to the war room where Dean was somewhat impatiently explaining to Castiel about privacy again and both men turned to see the pissed off brunette stop in front of them._

 _"How long have you heard my prayers?" Riley demanded, her eyes darker now._

 _Dean's eyebrow quirked at her venemous tone and Castiel regarded her carefully. "Since you started praying when you were a little girl." She took a couple steps forward and Dean stepped back some._

 _Riley studied his blue eyes and expressionless features for a moment before she exploded on him. "You asshole." She shoved Castiel backward with a strength she didn't know her anger held and he stumbled back a couple feet. Dean's eyes snapped to Sam's. Both brothers were shocked that the brunette manhandled the angel that way when the last time Dean took a shot at Cas when he was pissed, he'd come away with broken knuckles. "You watched me suffer."_

 _He gathered himself and straightened his blue tie a bit, almost nervously before he answered. "It wasn't suffering so much as it was... breaking you down to build you up." Castiel seemed surprised at her anger. "Scar tissue is most often stronger that flesh that hasn't been broken." Riley let out a strangled cry as she shoved his chest with both hands again before slapping him across the face._

 _"Alright," Dean stepped in then, wrapped his arms around her torso, pinning her arms to her sides. Riley struggled against his hold, tears streaming down her cheeks now. "Easy tiger." She growled angrily and he lifted her up against him, her back to his chest and she kicked out wildly. "Let's take a walk."_

 _"Let me go." Sam and Castiel watched as Dean carried her out of the room, her angry curses echoing off the hallway. He turned to the angel._

 _"How... did she push you around?" Castiel just stared after the pair for a few seconds before he answered. "Cas?"_

 _"She is... not what she seems." Was his cryptic reply and that made Sam roll his eyes. "She's more powerful that she knows."_

 _"Is she human?" The hunter lowered his voice, almost afraid of the answer._

 _"Of course." Castiel almost sounded sarcastic. Sam gave him a look. "She will be prove to be useful if you let her help you with your current... problem."_

 _That, of course, was the Mark occupying space on Dean's arm._

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Two weeks later...

Dean was laying on his bed around midnight, his earbuds in, when he felt a presence in his room. His eyes opened to find Riley standing there in his doorway in her pajamas.

The look on her face was unnerving and he yanked off the earbuds, setting them aside on his nightstand. "Ry?" His mood changed immediately and he moved to the side of his bed.

"You said to come to you..." Riley mumbled softly and he reached out a hand. She closed the door and approached his bed somewhat apprehensively. Her small hand found his somewhat hesitantly.

"C'mere." His fingers tugged on hers and she climbed into his bed. "Lay down." He shifted and lay next to her, his right hand coming up to smooth her hair back. Riley was trembling against him and he hugged her close to his body. "I'm right here, Ry." He hummed softly, a vibration in his chest to go along with the melody of his heartbeat.

Riley felt silent tears roll down her cheek and she gripped his tshirt tightly, willing herself not to cry. "Dean..." Her whisper was choked and she closed her eyes when she felt him press a kiss to her hair before tucking her against him better, his chin on top of her head. He didn't shush her, didn't force her to talk.

"Riley, I'm glad you're here." That soft phrase made the damn inside her chest break. "I don't want you being alone when you feel like this. Thank you for coming to me this time." Dean hummed a bit and he felt her take a nice, deep breath. He reached over to pull an extra blanket over them. It was sort of heavy and he liked it; pulling it over himself after a long day always comforted him in some small way.

He rubbed her back in circles and felt her relax against him some. "You wanna listen to something?" Riley just nodded slightly and she felt him reach across her body for something on the nightstand. She felt one of his earbuds being pressed into her left ear gently and she opened her eyes to find him putting the other one in his right ear before turning on what he'd been sitting in here listening to before she'd come to him.

He thumbed something on his cell phone and the sounds of a thunderstorm came through their earbuds. Riley closed her eyes again, seemingly content with his selection. He smiled a bit; only bad thing about the bunker was that when it rained, all the noise was drowned out.

Dean had always liked the motels that had tin roofing becuase of the way it sounded when it rained. It was comforting and reminded him of the rain on the roof of the impala. Something he'd always associated with home, even though it wasn't exactly a conventional one. His lips rested against her forehead and she sighed softly against him, wiggling just a little bit closer.

He wanted to stay awake and overthink the situation, but he felt sleep tugging at his eyelids. "Ry?" His gruff voice didn't even make her stir. Dean brushed a kiss to her forehead, surprised at how calm he was now, also. He'd just had another argument with Sam about the damn mark on his arm.

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When the brunette opened her eyes a few short hours later, she was startled to find Dean a few inches away, his green eyes focused on her face. "Morning." His voice was full of sleep. "You sleep okay?" The concern he felt crept its way into his soft question and she nodded, a blush working its way onto her cheeks.

"Dean?" Riley took a breath, fiddling with the hem of his sheet. "How come you're doing this?"

His brow furrowed. "Believe it or not, Sam's not the only one who cares about you, here."

"I mean," She paused. "How do you know how to make me okay?" That was a fair question and he closed his eyes briefly. "Dean?"

"Maybe because I get it." There was a pregnant pause. Riley watched him struggle with his next thought.

"Why are you and Sam fighting so much lately?"

Dean's eyes darkened a bit. "I really don't wanna go there." He murmured and she shifted, still in his arms. Riley sniffled, getting choked up.

"Are you arguing about me?"

Dean looked surprised. "Of course not." He pressed his lips together before saying the next words. "We're arguing about what the hell to do about this mark on my arm."

Riley blinked rapidly. "What mark on your arm?"

He sighed softly before moving back from her, his right arm leaving her waist. "This." Her eyes fell on the reddish scar like mark, the one she'd caught a glimpse of in the motel room recently after he'd showered. Her soft fingers came up to smooth over it. Dean felt his skin tingle from her gentle touch. "Mark of cain."

"Like... in the bible?"

"Yeah," He watched her study his skin and the darkness that he felt rising in his own chest quelled for the moment. Her brows furrowed and her index finger traced it gently before she moved his arm back around her waist and her chocolate gaze moved to his.

"Are you okay?" Her concern threaded its way into her soft question and he pursed his lips a bit, not sure how to answer the young woman in front of him. She was fragile right now and Dean wasn't enitrely sure he wanted to dump all this on her, especially when Cas mentioned that she could help them with the Mark. "Please don't keep anything from me."

She had a point; Riley had been honest with him about her resurfacing problem. Dean's warm hand splayed across the small of her back, pressing her closer to the warmth of his body. "Ry, I don't know." That was the most honest he could be with her.

Her left hand reached up and cupped his stubbled cheek as she gazed into his eyes, searching for decption there. Her thumb traced the fine lines by the corner of his right eye. "Is this why you and Sam have been at each other's throats?" His eyes closed then and her hand smoothed to the nape of his neck, petting the soft hair at the base of his skull. "Dean?" Riley whispered.

"Yes." His whisper was soft. Tears stung her eyes again and she closed them, feeling her chest tighten with anxiety.

"Tell me you're gonna be okay." She begged him, her voice barely more than a whisper. "Because if Sam and I didn't have you, we wouldn't be able to do this." Her confession made Dean hug her tighter, his lips pressing against her forehead. "Please."

"I don't know, Ry." His hoarse whisper made her chest heave as she held in a sob. They held onto one another for a few mintues, emotions running high between them, although neither one could admit it. "I'm scared." His confession made her nod against the scruff on his chin. "This mark, makes me feel like I'm out of control. Wreckless."

 _"You're out of line, Dean. You're unpredictable, except when you're hunting... becuase then, you're just downright scary." Sam's words on the hunt rang in both their minds. She'd been in the shower at the motel the night she'd first seen the Mark and their low, angry voices carried into the bathroom._

"You don't scare me, Dean." Riley hugged his torso a little tighter. "I'm here too, if you need me."

"How are you not afraid of me?" He hummed a bit, his fingers smoothing the warm skin between her shorts and tshirt on the small of her back.

"I don't think you'd ever hurt me." Dean focused on the sounds of the rain coming through the earbud before she spoke again, softer this time. "Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"I've been thinking..."

"About?"

"My dad."

"And?" His eyes opened again and he focused on her. "Ry?"

"I feel like," Her gaze moved from his. "I feel like I should find him... get some answers. My whole life was a lie." That made him sigh. Bobby's letter stated that her father and his didn't get along and Dean wasn't sure that was the best idea.

However, he kinda understood. "If that's what you want."

Her eyes moved back to his. "What's that mean?"

Dean chose his words carefully. "I'm just sayin'. You may find out things you never wanted to know and sometimes, there's no going back from that."

"How much more fucked up can things be?" Her innocent question made Dean cringe internally.

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Readers,

Oh, how bad could it be? One of the things I like most is when a character is naively wrong. Like, Riley, have you _met_ the Winchesters? ;)

CitrineMama


	13. Chapter 13

Riley was sitting in the war room when she felt the shift in the air pressure around them. Dean had called Castiel back to the bunker after she'd cooled off some; her explosive, angry response to the angel's presence a few days earlier had shocked each man thoroughly.

Even Dean, whose sometimes violent temper was egged on even further by the Mark.

"Hello, Riley." His monotone didn't exactly put her at ease. Dean nudged Cas closer and nodded, motioning for him to sit in the chair at the war room table. The brunette raised her eyes to his unnaturally blue ones, sensing some relunctance on his end. Dean and Sam shared a look.

"Sit down, Cas." Sam finally said, knowing the angel wasn't quite reading Dean's mind at the moment, instead completely focused on the brunette in front of him. Her shoulders were tense with anxiety and she was wringing her hands in her lap as she sat there. Dean was standing at her right side, his left hand on the back of her chair.

Castiel did, seemingly reluctantly. "You wished to see me?"

Riley looked between the two men. "Can you give us..." She trailed off and the Winchesters shared a look.

Dean tilted his head slightly as he looked down at Riley, an eyebrow quirked. "You gonna behave yourself this time, sweetheart?" Her shoulders relaxed some at the sarcasm she'd grown to secretly like from him.

"Mostly."

Sam smiled a bit. "We'll be in the kitchen." His voice was softer than his older brother's. Riley watched the two men disappear down the hallway behind the angel before she spoke.

"I'm sorry about the other day." The brunette apologized to Castiel, her eyes downcast.

"I forgive you." Was his immediate response.

The brunette picked at her thumbnail. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did I have to go through everything..." She couldn't even finish her question, her throat already getting tight with emotion. Castiel thought a few seconds before answering.

"You're very special, Riley."

"Just like everyone else." Was her curt reply.

Castiel studied her face. "There is a reason for everything." That made her eyes roll heavenward. Was he going to honestly sit there next to her and quote scripture from Ecclesiastes to her? _Seriously?_

"I've _read_ the bible... went to college and minored in biblical studies." She sighed tearfully, her moment of anger subsiding somewhat. Two could play at that game. "When Jonah was in distress and called out for help, why was his cry answered and not mine?"

Castiel considered that. "In the book of Romans, God promises to make something good out of the storms that devastate your life, Riley." A tear slipped down her cheek as he recited one of her favorite scriptures. He watched her wipe away a few tears that had escaped, averting her eyes from the angel's face. He watched her take a few deep breaths, the delicate collum of her throat working to swallow.

She gathered herself, trying to reign in her sudden emotion before she lost her composure completely. "I was all alone and my spirit is crushed, Castiel." Her voice broke as she refrenced another piece of scripture she'd meditated over on several occasions. "I know you know about my recent... relapse." The angel didn't respond, but she could sense he did know without her telling him. "I don't wanna be that person anymore, Castiel, but I hurt so much. I've lost so many people around me." Riley took a breath. "I've looked for answers, but I feel like I'm not gonna ever find them, y'know?"

"In the midst of the storm, He is still working." Castiel watched her sigh, frustrated at his cryptic answers. Her eyes welled up again, her heart pounding as she felt her chest tighten at that reference.

"I think that's crap."

Castiel felt like that would be something that Dean would have said. "Difficulty often cultivates the way for ordinary people to discover their extraordinary destiny, Riley." The angel relaxed some, not feeling so much anger from the woman in front of him as he had a few days before. "I understand you do not know what you will be used for yet, but you will."

"What can I do?" Riley sighed again, wiping her tear streaked face with the back of her hand. "I'm not a hunter, by any meals. I've never shot a gun. I'm scared of the dark. I have no support system. I have no job. I'm homeless. I have _nothing_."

Castiel reached out to touch her shoulder, something he'd seen Sam on many occasions do to comfort other humans. "You're weren't supposed to be a hunter. But everything in your life happened the way it was supposed to... you have Sam and Dean now. You humans all associate home with a place." He paused meaningfully and the brunette looked up to him again. "Home is other humans, Riley. They will support you as you will support them."

The pair were quiet for another moment and Castiel could sense her thoughts swirling around in her head. "I'm so _angry_." Her words were almost a sob. "I've never felt so alone. The _only_ person on this earth who seems to get me... is Dean." Another tear slid down her flushed cheek. "And he has the weight of the world on his shoulders right now and I don't know how to help him."

"I know." Castiel said quietly. Her eyes met the clear blue ones of the angel in front of her. "Dean shares that sentiment."

Riley sniffled. "I just need some time, Castiel. I can't do anymore of this tonight.I'm gonna lose my mind..." Her lost expression changed to one of hope. "It just wanted to ask you if... is my mom... alright?"

There was the slightest hint of a smile on the angel's features at her question. "She is well... she is very proud of you, Riley." That made Riley's eyes close and she started to cry again softly. Castiel was getting quite uncomfortable with her overwhelming anguish and luckily, Sam had come back right then to check on them, his footfalls coming up the bunker hallway.

Riley was sobbing softly and Sam pulled her to her feet gently as the angel rose slowly from the chair he'd been sitting in while they spoke. Sam hugged the brunette tight against his torso, his chin on top of her head, his eyes going to Castiel's solemn gaze. "I'm gonna take her to her room." Castiel disappeared then without saying goodbye and Sam rolled his eyes at the angel's sudden departure. "C'mon, honey. Let's walk down here and get you something to drink," He felt her nod a bit before her let her go and they moved towards the kitchen where Dean was waiting.

He'd had been pacing the kitchen when his brother and Riley entered. Sam's eyes met his brother's and he let her go some and her red rimmed eyes raised to see Dean's emerald gaze move from his brother to her. He detected some level of regret on Riley's face as well as hopelessness.

It was almost like looking into a mirror and that was quite unnerving to the older man.

Dean shoved those feelings aside and reached for Riley. She moved into his arms immediately, letting go of Sam. Dean's eyes closed as his chin rested on top of her head, his arms around her shoulders as he hugged her close to him. Riley's arms came around his torso. Sam watched the pair for a few seconds before moving to get her a glass of water from the tap.

After Riley accepted the tumbler from Sam and drank a bit, she looked up to Dean, who eyed her before his gaze slid to Sam's. "Gonna put her to bed." Dean took the glass from her shaking hand and set it on the kitchen table. Sam gave a nod and watched his grunt of an older brother walk the brunette out of the kitchen, his arm around her shoulders, Riley's gait somewhat weakened and off balance.

Dean walked Riley to her bedroom and turned on the lamp for her, letting her go carefully. She moved to her trunk and pulled out some sleep clothes, but he could tell she was just going through the motions absentmindedly. "Ry?" Her glassy eyes moved to Dean, fighting to focus on his eyes, tears clouding her vision.

"Can I just sleep with you?" Dean studied her before he answered; it had been nearly three months since he'd acquired the Mark and he was really starting to feel its effects. His need for food and sleep had been dwindling down to nearly nothing and that was getting harder and harder to hide from Sam and Riley. Not that he would ever hurt them... but Dean didn't want to chance that. "Dean?" She was looking up at him expectantly.

"Course you can." The corner of his mouth turned up slightly and she picked up an oversized tshirt and moved to his side again. Dean turned the lamp back off and they walked down the hallway to his room. Once inside, he closed the door quietly.

Dean turned his back to her and slipped off his flannel and his tshirt. Riley sat on the end of his bed, her worn tshirt in her lap. Dean unbuckled his jeans and slipped them off, pulling on a pair of lounge pants even though he knew he wasn't going to sleep at all. When he turned back around, her gaze was on the floor in front of her. Dean moved to her and stopped in front of her. "You wanna change? I'll step out."

"Yeah." Her voice was small, emotionless. Riley pulled off her shirt in front of him and yanked on the oversized tshirt, not caring if he was there or not. Dean watched her stand and shimmy off her jeans, the tshirt covering her hips. She tugged off her socks and then she slipped off her bra, tossing everything unceremoniously on his bedroom floor.

Dean felt much calmer than he had earlier, even though Riley was clearly in emotional turmoil. "C'mon, Ry." His voice was soft and he pulled back the covers and she climbed in. Dean turned down the lamp on the dimmest setting, knowing she didn't sleep in complete darkness. He got in bed next to her and spoke as gently as he could. "I wish I could make all this okay."

"I wish I could too." Was her reply. She rolled over away from Dean and sighed tearfully. "Dean?"

"Yeah?" He shifted behind her, facing her back.

"Would you just... hold me?" Riley whispered. "Just at least until I fall asleep? I feel like I'm gonna lose my mind..." He moved up aganst her without a word and hugged her close to him. His left arm encircled her waist and his right arm slid under her pillow and curled up around her shoulders protectively, his right hand coming to rest on her left shoulder. Her eyes fluttered closed at Dean's gentle touch, knowing his brute strength otherwise.

"I know if fuckin' hurts, Ry." Dean spoke, close to her ear. "I'm not going anywhere." He felt her melt into him. "S'okay, sweetheart... I'm right here." He felt her nod. They were quiet for a moment before she finally spoke.

"Dean?"

"Mm?"

"I don't know how to be okay." _Damn, could he relate to that on so many level right now._

"Neither do I."

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for understanding me." Her voice was so soft, he almost didn't hear her.

"Thank _you_ ," Dean corrected. Riley felt him relax a bit behind her. "Get some rest. I'm right here, sweetheart." The storm that raged inside him was calm right then; perhaps tonight he would close his eyes and rest with Riley close, sleeping peacefully in his arms.

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Hey y'all!

I really enjoyed writing this one. Riley isn't quite sure about Castiel and his intentions and Dean doesn't quite trust himself anymore, so I hope I conveyed that well. Leave me a review! Have a wonderful evening!

CitrineMama


	14. Chapter 14

_There's so much I need to tell you and I don't know where to start. One thing you need to now is that you daddy did something your mama didn't know about and certainly wouldn't approve of, that's for damn sure._

 _On the off chance you weren't the one to find this letter, you need to find the man who baptised you as a baby. He'll be the one to tell you some more of your story. That's all I can say. I don't want what he tells ya to be used against ya and maybe things will make more sense._

 _Sorry for being so crytpic, kiddo._

Riley racked her brain for a name, as if she'd remember being baptised at some young age. They never attended church again after her father left and that was a seemingly dead end in itself.

 _All I ever wanted for you three kids was to be safe and healthy and have some normal life. Course my luck is like some bald guy winning a comb. I'm no fool and I know right now, you're probably pissed off at your daddy and at me. Can't say I blame ya, girl. Best advice I can give ya is to watch your back and trust your gut. If somethin' seems off, then it probably is. I know you don't like firearms, but you tell them boys to teach ya how to handle a weapon. I don't want to see ya in heaven ahead of schedule, Riley Ann._

Riley folded the letter in half. She'd been reading bits of Bobby's letter and each part seemingly presented its own mystery. Even though Bobby was gone, he was still being secretive, although this time, it was because he was still trying to protect her even though he was gone.

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Sam was sitting in the bunker library at the table when he felt Riley's presence. He raised his eyes to the doorway when she entered and she gave him a slight smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Sam?"

"Yeah?" To him, she seemed so soft and small. Fragile, even. Sam set down the book he'd been reading on the table in front of him, but left it open, his thumb on the paragraph where he'd stopped.

Last night after her talk with Castiel, Riley had slept in his brother's room. _She_ didn't know _he_ knew that, of course. Sam had gone down to her bedroom a few hours after she'd said she was turning in to check on her and found her bed made and empty. He'd immediately gone down to Dean's room and paused outside the doorway. He could hear them talking softly, but he couldn't make out the conversation.

She frowned slightly, not sure how to ask him without giving away what she'd read. There was no way, so she closed her eyes and asked. "How would I find out who baptised me?" That made Sam's brow wrinkle, his suspicion rising at her random, out of the blue request.

"Uh, I'm not real sure." _That_ was definately one thing he'd had no experience with. "Can I ask... _why_ you're asking?"

"I was reading the next part of Bobby's letter..." Her voice trailed off as she approached Sam at the table. Her brown eyes conveyed sadness and Sam motioned to the chair next to him after closing the book he'd been reading, dog earring the page. "He's being real cryptic. Was he paranoid or something?" That made Sam chuckle, his dimple deepening.

"You could say that." He reached out to pull his laptop close and opened it. "Can I ask why we're looking for somebody who baptised you?"

Riley hesitated before she reminded herself that this was Sam. He was trustworthy and he'd been right there for her since she'd moved in a few months ago. The brunette slid into the wooden chair next to him. "He said that the man who baptised me could tell me more about who I am, I guess."

Sam opened a search engine on the screen. "You've been here with us for a couple months, Riley... and I don't even know your last name." His hazel eyes twinkled with amusement.

"Elkins." Recognition flickered in his eyes even though he tried to keep his expression neutral and she tilted her head at the subtle change in his features. "You knew my dad, didn't you." It wasn't a question. "Sam?"

"Met him once. Him and dad had a falling out." His gaze moved towards the computer screen. "Small world." Sam mused softly. He typed in her name and hit search. "Your family go to church anyplace regularly that you can remember?"

"Not since my dad left when I was five."

"Where'd you grow up?"

"Nashua."

"Iowa?"

"Yeah."

Sam typed in a new search, this time for churches in that area within a 25 miles radius. "You remember how long it took you to get there from your house or what the church looked like? Anything stand out to you?"

"It was smallish, I remember." Riley paused, pressing her lips together. "It was brown or something, I think." Sam smirked at her vague description, his eyes still fixed on the screen. "I don't know, Sam. I was four or five." He scrolled down a bit and frowned. "Bobby was pretty clear that I needed to do this though."

"I'll find it." Riley scooted closer to the man next to her so she could see what he was doing. Name after name he scrolled past and she didn't recognize anything, shaking her head. Her shoulders slumped a bit until she saw the one at the bottom. "There. What's that?"

"Little brown church in the Vale." Sam murmured. He moved the cursor to click on the images of the church. "That it?"

"Yeah." Riley breathed, her gaze on the picture and he nodded. She remembered walking up the steps and through the oddly shaped doors in the towering entrance. The plaque was hanging above the double doors, proudly stating the name and year it was built. Sam watched her take in the details of the image before her eyes moved to his few seconds later. "I would've been baptized between birth and five, when my dad left."

"Let me work on this and I'll let ya know what I find, m'kay?" Riley closed her eyes, relief washing over her. "I'll look through and find what we need. You wanna start breakfast?"

She nodded and pushed up off her chair. "I can do that. Thank you so much, Sam."

"You're welcome." Her footsteps faded and he found the church's website and a whole lot of information. The church was built between 1860 and 1864 and they kept a record of baptisms and Sam clicked on the contact page. His hazel eyes scanned the information and found the phone number. He thumbed the digits into his cellphone and held it to his ear.

"Hello. My name is Sam and my fiance was baptised there about twenty five years ago..."

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Dean had showered and brushed his teeth before heading down to the war room. Sam was sitting on the north side, in the library. He nodded at Dean's presence and he was on the phone. "Yes, we're getting married and she would love it if the same man who performed her baptism could possibly do our premarital counseling and our ceremony." Dean quirked an eyebrow. "Sure, I can hold."

"Gettin' hitched, Sammy?" Sam shushed him, shooting his brother a dirty look.

"I'm still here." He motioned to Dean to hand him a pencil from the mason jar by the lamp. Dean watched Sam scrawl something on yesterday's newspaper margin. "Is he still serving there or is he retired?" His expression changed to one of disappointment. "Really? When?" Sam closed his eyes, disappointment on his face. "Yeah. Of course. Was he from the area? Could we pay our respects?" He wrote something else down. "Thank you so much, m'am." Sam thumbed off his phone. "Fuck."

"What?"

"Long story." Sam rose from the table. "C'mon, Riley was starting breakfast." Dean followed his younger brother down to the bunker kitchen.

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Hello beautiful readers!

What exactly is it that Riley's going to find? Does Bobby have a reason to be paranoid, even on the other side of the veil? Hope you enjoyed this. :) Reviews keep me motivated!

CitrineMama


	15. Chapter 15

_Family don't end in blood, but it sure as hell don't start there either. Family's got your back, even when it hurts._

 _You have always reminded me of both those boys; you'd give Dean one hell of a run for his money as far as stubborness goes. And on the other hand, ou're smart as a whip, like Sam. The only thing I ask you to promise me is that you won't do anything dumb._

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The door opened slowly, revealing an older woman, maybe in her mid to late sixties. "Can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Margie Frank." Riley spoke softly, Sam standing behind her.

"You found her."

"Your husband was Thomas Frank? The pastor of the brown church?"

"Yes."

"I'm Riley Ann Elkins." The door opened wide then, surprise on the gray haired woman's features. "This is my friend, Sam. We don't mean to bother-," Her apology was cut off.

"Come on in." The screen door was pushed open and she waved them inside. "I'll put on some coffee." Riley and Sam shared a nervous look before he followed her inside the home. They walked down a hallway that opened up into a modest eat in kitchen. "Sit. You two want your coffee Irish?" Sam's dimple deepened at Margie's question. "Honey, I may have been the pastor's wife, but ain't nobody perfect but Jesus." That made Riley smile finally.

"That'd be nice." Her voice was soft and Margie turned on her coffee pot and hurried out of the kitchen, leaving Sam and Riley at the table. Their eyes met and Riley shrugged. The older woman came back in a moment later with an old box in her arthritic hands.

"My husband had a box of things and he told me you may come someday." She set an old shoebox down before moving to pour two cups of coffee, adding some Irish cream to each. She carried theirs to the table and sat down next to Riley. Margie lifted the lid and shuffled through it. She eventually produced a letter, a baptismal certificate and a necklace. "You ever need anything, you call me. This should explain everything you need to know."

"This letter?"

"Yes."

"We need help..."

"This letter will explain everything."

"We're in big trouble." Riley's voice was shaking now and she set her mug down. Sam could see her hands shaking. Dean was falling further and further with the Mark and both she and Sam were feeling completely helpless. There was no apparent cure for the Mark and the boys insisted that they knew that for a fact, but wouldn't tell her how they knew.

Yes, they'd kept Riley in the dark about a lot of the goings on regarding some cure to remove it, but they had come to her for help with research and information regarding the Mark. She didn't like the one sided sharing of facts one bit, but she had no choice.

The lost expression she saw more often that not on the older hunter's face was killing her.

The expression on the older woman's face was one of sorrow and sympathy. Margie eyed her closely before speaking. "What your daddy arranged... you shouldn't ever need to worry about _any_ kind of trouble."

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Sam drove back to the bunker while Riley stared at the letter in her lap. He kept glancing over at her and she sighed. "Sam?" She felt a little buzzed from the coffee, not ever one to drink.

"Yeah?"

"There's no cure, is there?" She spoke flatly.

His hesitation to answer spoke volumes. "It's been transferred, but can't removed forever. We were told by a very reliable source that it could be transferred to someone worthy, but Dean _isn't_ going to lay that on someone else's soul." He didn't mention that that source was Death himself.

"How can it be transferred?"

He drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, Dean's nervous habit. "I'm not telling you." His tone pissed her off and Riley clapped a hand on her thigh, frustrated.

"Fuck Sam." She got that angry feeling in her stomach again, irritated with the way Sam was dodging her. "How can it be _transferred_ , but not _removed_?"

Another mile rolled under the impala's tires before he finally gave in and told her. "A spell."

"Witchcraft?"

"Yes."

She turned the letter over and sighed. "I have to share what's in here with Dean?"

"At _least_ with me."

She opened the envelope and slid out a single paged letter and scanned to the bottom. "It's from my dad."

 _Riley Ann,_

 _If you've made it back to Pastor Frank and were given this letter, then my world has undeniably collided with yours. I am so sorry for everything and the last thing I want you to be, is angry at Bobby. He didn't ever want to lie to you, but it was the only way to keep you and your mother safe from this._

 _Funny how stuff works out._

 _I racked my brain on how to keep my baby girl safe and I spoke with Pastor Frank on many occasions, starting back when your mom was pregnant with you. How on earth was I going to ensure your safety in some way? Pastor Frank pulled some strings and eventually found an answer to my ever looming worry._

 _When you got baptized, there was a special man in attendance in the pews that day..._

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The brunette was shaking as she lay down in her bed that evening. She'd carefully hidden the letter from her father in her bunker bedroom. She hadn't gotten past the first few paragraphs before she was an emotional wreck and had to put it away in her purse. Luckily, Sam hadn't pressed her for information.

 _Yet_.

She'd skipped dinner with Sam and Dean and taken her coffee mug to her bedroom down the hall from the main living area. After closing and locking the door securely behind her, Riley opened her nightstand drawer. She ate a granola bar that was stashed in her nightstand and sighed. Sam had promised her that they would find a cure for the mark.

But they hadn't yet.

Dean was really starting to act different lately and it was painfully obvious that he was feeling to affects of the mark. Any feelings she may have had for the oldest brother were quickly becoming replaced with feelings of fear and distrust. He was angry, unpredictable.

 _Dark_.

Sam noticed the change in his brother as well; he knew Riley was... afraid of Dean. There was a different air about him lately. He swore up and down he would keep her safe as they'd neared the bunker after their little road trip, when she'd told him her plans to leave the bunker for good.

 _"I can't stay and see him like this, Sam." She'd sobbed quietly. "This is breaking my heart. I can't see all the good inside of your brother be stolen from him. He never deserved this."_

Riley tried to control her breathing as she heard Dean's heavy bootfalls in the tiled hallway a few hours later, well after midnight.

He paced nightly and she closed her eyes when she heard him pause outside her bedroom. To her shock and horror, the doorknob jingled slightly, Dean testing the lock. "Ry?" His voice had softened and her tense shoulders relaxed slightly, although her heart rate sped up.

This was _her_ Dean, the man she'd harbored feelings for... for months now. He would never hurt her... _right_?

"Yes?" Her voice was soft when she answered.

"You locked your door?" He almost sounded hurt and she climbed out of her full sized bed hesitantly. Dean stepped back when he heard the heavy lock being undone. The door opened slowly to reveal Riley in a gray cotton nightie. Her arms were crossed over her chest shyly.

"Are you... okay?" Riley eyed him closely, ignoring his question and Dean studied her features, looking for signs of regret. "Dean?"

"I couldn't sleep." He sounded distraught, his green eyes rimmed with red, revealing his exhaustion. "Why did you lock your door?" She was holding on to the door, only open about a foot. Dean ran a nervous hand through his hair.

He saw her wince at his repeated question.

Dean's green eyes focused on hers when her door opened all the way and he felt Riley's arms come around his neck in a warm hug. He hugged her back tightly, his heart pounding in his chest. "What can I do?" She whispered, her breath tickling his neck.

"Can I just... lay in here with you for a little while?" His quiet question surpised her; he wasn't the type of man to cuddle. She pulled back at bit to look at him in the face, her hand coming up to cup his stubbled cheek. Dean's eyes shone with unshed tears and Riley nodded slightly. The brunette let Dean go and stepped back to allow him entry into her bedroom.

"Yeah," Her voice was soft, understanding. Dean felt strange in her bedroom; he'd never been inside of her room after she'd moved in. Riley watched him look around her room. It was plain, like his and a few trinkets were on her dresser and a few pairs of jeans hung on the rack in the corner next to some tops. Her lamp was on the lowest setting and she had a candle burning.

Riley watched as Dean unbuttoned his jeans and slipped off his flannel shirt before tossing the long sleeved garment on the chair on the corner next to the clothing rack. He lay down on her bed, his left hand behind his head, his right one on his stomach. Brielle closed the door most of the way before climbing in next to him, settling on her side.

"I'm scared, Ry." His whispered confession made her breath catch in her chest. "I can feel myself... changing. I feel like... you're scared of me too."

"Dean," Riley's heart broke for him. "I know you wouldn't hurt me." He felt her fingers intertwine with his calloused ones over his sternum after her emotional confession. His green eyes focused on her candle, still flickering on her dresser.

They were quiet for a few minutes until Dean spoke. "I know you want to leave the bunker. For good." He felt her body tense before she exhaled slowly. _Damn Sam for running his mouth._ "Why would you want to leave?"

Riley shifted so she was laying on her back next to him, looking away from his emerald eyes, letting go of his hand. "Because seeing you... like this..." Her voice broke and her hazel eyes spilled over. "It's killing me." Dean was shocked at her confession. "I'm so sorry, Dean."

Riley was trying her damnedest to hold her emotions in check as she wiped her eyes. She felt Dean shift to lay on his left side next to her before he brushed her hair back from her face tenderly. "I hate this..." His voice dropped. "I hate that this damn mark is making you scared of me... of what I'm capable of..." She shook her head slightly, her bottom lip trembling. "I am so sorry." Her hazel eyes fluttered closed when Dean's lips brushed her temple. "I'll go... I shouldn't be in here with you... " He trailed off and he rolled back over to get up off her bed.

Her hand shot out, clutching his tshirt sleeve. "Dean, it's okay. Please... stay. I trust you." He canted his head slightly, studying her.

"Are you sure?"

"Maybe you'll get some sleep." He considered that. Riley shifted again, her back to him and reached out for a tissue on the nightstand to blow her nose and wipe her eyes. Dean's heavy arm came around her torso and she felt him relax against her. She tossed the tissue in the trash can and reached down for the sheet and comforter to pull over them.

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Hello lovelies!

Thank you to each of you who has reviewed, sent me PMs and added me on their alerts recently. Means so much that you're enjoying Riley's story. Let me know what you thought of this chapter. Have a wonderful day!

CitrineMama


	16. Chapter 16

"She wants to look for her dad." Pause. "We talked late last night."

"Why?"

"She wants answers... answers we're not gonna be able to give her."

"I don't think this a good idea."

"Yeah, well neither do I, but what choice do we have?"

"Dean, did she tell you..."

"Tell me what?"

"Her last name? Who her dad is?"

"Who?"

"Elkins, Dean. Daniel Elkins was her _dad_."

" _Was_?" The two men didn't even hear Riley walk up the hallway to the kitchen. The brunette was standing there in the doorway, her expression full of sadness. Sam grimaced, shaking his head a little. "Is he..." She trailed off, looking back and for between the two men, distress on her face.

Dean and Sam shared a look and a few subtle facial expressions before Sam answered her carefully with a question. "Daniel Elkins was your dad?"

"Yeah."

Dean watched Sam pick up their father's journal, weighing the item in his hands before moving towards the brunette. Sam held the worn leather journal out to her. His hazel eyes were full of remorse. "He passed away." The journal was open and neat handwriting lined the page. "Dad knew him... he _was_ a hunter, Riley."

Riley took the book gingerly. Her eyes were already watering. "Something got him?"

"Vampires." Sam's voice was careful. She nodded and eyed the page before closing the journal and holding it to her chest, her eyes closing tightly, another person yanked from her life unexpectedly.

"Can I just..." Was all she could manage. _Read this? Get some closure?_

"Of course." Sam nodded and she felt his arms around her shoulders this time instead of Dean. "It's just some details..." Sam murmured, his chin on top of her head. _Nothing_ _too_ _graphic_ , he wanted to add. He felt Riley nod and he let go a few seconds later. The brunette moved back out of the kitchen, John Winchester's journal in her arms.

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Riley waited until the boys had turned in for the evening to sneak out to the library, her USB drive in her hand. She sat down at the table and plugged it into Sam's laptop before turning it on. Her eyes scanned the article and she spoke softly. "Castiel?" The dark room seemed much smaller in the wake of his sudden presence.

"Hello Riley." His monotone made her smile a bit.

"I need a favor, but you have to keep this between us." She pushed the chair across from her out with her foot. "Sit down, Castiel."

Castiel did so. "I do not like keeping secrets, especially from Sam and Dean."

Riley gave him a look. "I need you to get some items for me." Her hands were folded in front of her on the table.

"Items for what, exactly?"

"Are you going to help me or not?"

The angel sighed. "What items?"

"Mugwort." That made the angel frown.

"Are you doing some sort of a spell?"

"Are you helping me or _not_?" She repeated.

The angel studied the young woman in front of him closely before he tilted his head slightly, recognition flickering across his face. "You have that same look on your face that Dean does when he's about to do something _extremely_ stupid." Castiel paused. "You're going to do something stupid, _aren't_ you?"

Riley smiled a bit at Castiel's observation. "I'm trying to make things right." That wasn't the answer he was looking for and she nodded. "Black onyx and mugwort?"

"I can get those for you."

"Thank you, Castiel."

"When do you need them?"

"Sometime soon. I have some other things I need, but I can get those." The brunette sighed. "Thank you, Castiel."

"You're welcome." He was gone again in a fluttering of wings.

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Sam was watching Dean not eat breakfast for the third time that week and he snapped angrily. "Why are you looking at me like that? I'm fine."

Sam winced at his snarky tone. "You haven't eaten, Dean. In _days_." He spoke quietly, hearing the toilet flush down the hall, knowing Riley was awake now. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"Damnit, I told you I was _fine_." He pushed back from the table and glared at his brother. "So stop _fucking_ asking." Dean stalked out of the room and Sam heard Riley greet him warmly in the hallway. He strained to hear Dean's reply and she stepped inside the bunker kitchen a few seconds later.

"Morning Sam."

"Morning." He eyed her, searching for a sign of defeat after her encounter with Dean. "You want some eggs?" Sam nodded to Dean's untouched plate. She nodded and sat across from him.

"He didn't eat again, did he?"

"No."

"I'm worried, Sam."

"You're not alone."

"What's the plan Sam? Because the longer he has that mark, the worse things are gonna get."

"I know." He sighed. "You find anything when you were reading last night? I had to sleep... I was seeing double."

"We have to keep looking." Was her reply as she picked up the fork. Riley poked at the fried potatoes. "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"I think he's giving up."

Sam closed his eyes painfully. "Well _we_ can't."

"I know." She spoke again. "What happens if he dies with that Mark on his arm?"

Sam frowned. "He turns into a knight of hell. That Mark doesn't let go, at least according to the lore we've read."

"Like a demon?"

"Yes." He pushed his plate back, his appetite long gone too. "We have a lead... some angel is meeting us tomorrow with information, but he's not exactly trustworthy..."

"I can go."

Sam's eyes flicked to hers, his expression unreadable. "It might not be safe."

"Aren't all angels good?" The innocence in her question made Sam smile.

"No." There was so much more behind his words.

"So... what happens if they attack you?"

"You banish them away temporarily with a spell."

"Like how exactly?" He gave her a look. "I might need to know, Sam. Show me."

He pulled a notebook towards him and opened it to scrawl on the margin. "Has to be done with blood."

"My blood?"

"Yeah. You draw that symbol on a surface and slap your hand in the middle with your own blood to banish them. Gives you a good five minute head start, at least."

"So they aren't all good like Castiel?"

"Unfortunately not."

"Can we be protected from them with like a charm or something?"

"Like our demon tats?" Riley nodded. "Yeah." Sam drew another symbol. "This one. We don't use it other than to draw on walls when we're not here. Then they can't sense us or get inside. Makes ya invisible like." Riley nodded, eyeing the two things he'd drawn.

"I always read angels were good and just."

"That's not the case." They picked at their rapidly cooling breakfasts quietly, each lost in thought.

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Riley's throat was raw from screaming in frustration.

For the last five months, the trio had shared the bunker bathroom and now here she was, handcuffed there. Sam and Dean had been especially secretive that morning as they'd gotten their bags together after breakfast. Sam had called her into the bathroom and had cuffed her right wrist and snapped the other end to the exposed plumbing underneath the sink.

"Dean?" Fear instantly flooded her soul and she looked to Dean helplessly from where he stood in the doorway. There was some sense of sorrow in his eyes.

"Ry, you can't come with us. Not this time." Was his somber respone to her unasked question. "I'm sorry."

"We'll be back in a few hours." Sam set her cellphone down on the sink. His eyes moved to hers. "This is for your own good. You'll be safe here."

"Where are you going?" Riley asked desperately and the two men exchanged looks.

"We'll be back later, Ry." Dean's green eyes took her in, looking at her like it might be the last time and suddenly, she _knew_.

She knew that this time, there was a _real_ chance Dean wouldn't come back.

"Don't go." Riley begged them, tears stinging her eyes. "Please." Her plea came out as a sob and Sam gave her a sad smile.

"We have to..." Sam spoke regretfully.

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It had been six hours. Six hours since she'd heard the heavy iron door slam closed at the other end of the bunker. Sam had had enough sense to leave her where she could use the toilet and have water to drink.

Her wrist was raw and bleeding from where she'd been trying to squeeze out of the tight cuffs. She froze when she heard the garage door open. Her heart started to pound in her chest when the bootfalls she heard were slow and heavy.

And she didn't recognize the cadence of the footsteps.

 _Should she call out and reveal her location?_

 _Would it even matter anyway?_

 _She was stuck in a trap like a wild animal with no place to go._

The footsteps got closer and closer until they stopped outside the bathroom. Riley was sitting on the floor between the sink and the toilet when Sam stepped into view in the doorway. Dean was in his arms and they were both covered in blood and dirt.

That's why the footsteps were so heavy.

 _He was carrying his brother._

Dean's eyes were closed and Riley scrambled to her feet as much as the handcuffs would allow her. Sam moved past the bathroom and out of her view and she screamed out. "Sam? Sam, please..." A moment passed and he came back the hallway to the bathroom, his hands on the doorframe.

He stood there a moment, swaying slightly before he pushed off and moved towards her. Sam dropped to his knees in front of Riley and the handcuff key removed the device from her hand. He left the other side dangling on the pipe.

Riley slapped Sam across the face, tears streaming down her face before she hugged him tight. He nodded against her wavy hair, knowing he deserved her anger for the way they'd left her in the bunker. "Sam, is Dean gonna be okay?" She whispered into his ear, his hair tickling her face. Sam pulled back and her eyes frantically searched his bloodshot eyes.

The forlorn look on the younger Winchester's face made Riley's heart drop. "Ry... he didn't make it."

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Hey readers!

A nice cliffhanger for y'all. Ugh... I hate it as much as you do. What'd you think?

CitrineMama


	17. Chapter 17

A/N:

Okay guys... this chapter _is_ kinda short, but I liked these two scenes together without anything else. I was listening to _Fleurie's "Hope where have you gone"_ as I wrote this. Sort of a hauntingly beautiful song and I came across it by accident, but I loved it immediately.

Please leave me a review and let me know if this one punched you in the feels.

Have a wonderful day!

CitrineMama

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The whole world shifted beneath her feet and Riley dropped to her knees, instantly feeling nauseaous at Sam's words. Her chest was heaving as she fought for a breath and all Sam could do was look down at her. His own eyes stung with tears and he wiped a hand over his face before Riley exhaled. " _What_?" Was all she could manage.

The young woman in front of Sam was broken. Not in a physical sense, but his statement sent her emotional state hurtling towards past angry and hurt and straight towards devastation. Sam hadn't realized how close she and Dean had _actually_ been until that very moment. She leaned forward to brace herself, the cold tile under her shaking hands. Her breath was coming in little pants and he recognized her panic all too well.

 _How many times had Riley and Dean shared a bedspace that he didn't even know about?_

 _How many times did they stay up all night talking about anything and nothing?_

 _How could Dean open up to this woman more than his own brother?_

"Sam, tell me it's not true." She begged the man in front of her, sitting back a few seconds later, her hands gripping her own hair painfully. "Tell me you're _lying_!" The last word came out as a choked, painful wail and he winced at the sound.

"I'm so sorry, Riley." Was all Sam could manage, his arms coming around her. She shoved Sam back some from her at first, then gave in and let him hug her tight against him. They sat there on the cold bathroom floor, grieving together for a few moments, the atmosphere in the bathroom changing from an angry denial to one of melancholy and utter grief.

"I wanna see him." He nodded and pulled her up on her feet. Sam hugged Riley again, feeling her go lax against him as she sobbed a couple times. Sam squeezed her tighter and felt her nod against him before pushing back from his hold lightly. Hazel met brown for a moment before his large hand engulfed hers and he led Riley down the hall to Dean's bedroom.

She started to cry again when she saw Dean laying there on his bed where Sam had placed him. His hands were resting on his stomach and she stared at his chest, silently willing it to rise and fall with his breathing.

But that never came.

"C'mon Ry." Sam pulled her away from Dean's doorway and she sobbed into his chest, his strong arms coming around her shoulders again in the bunker hallway. "I am so sorry."

"He's your brother, Sam." Riley cried, her voice hoarse with emotion. "This can't be real..."

"I wish it wasn't." His voice broke then and and tears fell freely from his eyes for the first time since he'd left the factory, driven his brother home, carried his corpse into the bunker and placed his dead body on his bed. They held each other for a long time outside Dean's bedroom until Sam eventually pulled back, wiping his tearstained face. "I gotta shower..." Riley nodded, a lost expression on her features.

Numb.

Numb was all she could feel.

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His hands worked to wash off the dirt and the blood off his hands and body. Sam reached out to turn the water a little hotter. His thoughts came to a stand still as he leaned forward, resting his forearms against the cold shower tiles, letting the water rain down on his sore back muscles. Sam's eyes closed as he rested his forehead against his wrists, trying to gain some semblence of composure as he inhaled deeply, the steam making his chest feel even heavier.

Or maybe his heart.

Sam shut the hot water off a couple minutes later and pulled back the shower curtain before stepping out, wrapping a towel around his waist. It was still damp from Dean's shower earlier that morning and that made his eyes close briefly. His brother was alive that morning and had showered before the hunt and now, he was _gone_. Sam shoved those thoughts from his mind as he opened the bathroom door.

"Riley?" He stepped out into the hallway, a towel around his waist as he went to his room, his eyes already stinging with fresh tears. _Was that truly the last time he'd be washing his brother's blood off him?_ Forcing that thought from his mind, he pulled on some clean lounge pants and a white tshirt and went looking for Riley.

She wasn't in her bedroom and he suddenly heard her crying softly. _Where in the hell was she_ , Sam wondered worriedly. The next thought slammed into his mind like a freight train, halting his steps.

 _Was she in Dean's room?_

Sam jogged down the hallway and froze in his brother's doorway, his hands bracing his weight on the doorframe; the brunette had gone back to Dean's room while he'd showered. He was completely caught off guard at the macabre sight that lay before him.

To Sam's horror, Riley was in bed with Dean's body, tucked neatly against his left side, her head on his shoulder and her left hand gripping his flannel shirt. "Dean, you can't leave..." She sobbed softly, not even noticing the distraught man watching her from the doorway. "Please..." His flannel shirt was starchy under her fingers, his blood dried on it now. Her fingers were careful not to brush the tear in his tshirt or the gaping wound in his chest underneath.

Sam swallowed the giant lump in his throat and stepped inside Dean's bedroom, mentally preparing himself to get Riley away from his brother's lifeless body. "Ry..." His hands tugged her shoulders away from Dean gently and she whimpered, pulling away from Sam's grasp, not wanting to move from Dean's side. "C'mon, honey, you can't do this to yourself..." His warm hand closed around her forearm and tugged gently.

She yanked away from Sam angrily, still clinging onto Dean's shirt, still pressed against his side. He was getting cold and she suddenly craved his warmth, knowing she'd never feel it again. " _Dean_." Riley wailed, burying her face into his shoulder, gripping him tight as though he was her lifeline.

Because he was.

He had saved her life more than once and in more than one way and she hadn't been able to return the favor.

How could she ever forgive herself for that?

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	18. Chapter 18

A/N:

The last chapter was a short one, so I'm posting this one a few days earlier. Enjoy!

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Riley was laying in her bed the next morning, only getting up once to go to the bathroom. She hadn't slept a single wink. Her eyes were burning and her lungs were tight, like she'd been swimming endlessly, holding her breath underwater, fighting to breach the surface and take in a breath.

Sam had locked Dean's door after he'd pulled her from the bedroom so she couldn't get back in there while he anxiously did research in the war room overnight. She was stuck in her own emotional turmoil, unable to comfort Sam as he'd tried to do the same for her. She'd just pushed Sam away and closed in on herself, locking her bedroom door. Riley rolled over and glared at the bottom drawer in her nightstand; inside were the items she'd secretly been acquiring to complete the transfer spell she'd researched for the last five weeks. _Too little, too late,_ she thought bitterly.

Riley had lied to Sam last month about the contents of the letter her father had left with Margie Frank. Her baptism was traditional in every sense when she was twelve months old. The man in the pews that her father had referenced in the letter, though, was someone special in town from overseas. A very high ranking religious man.

One who was called a most holy man.

Elkins had arranged for her protection. It was after the baptism and he'd taken his daughter in a back room with the man and pastor Frank. The people in attendance drifted out of the sactuary after the church service and enjoyed coffee and cookies in the basement of the church. To protect his daughter from demonic posession in the only way Elkins could without her mother knowing, was to let the man give her some of his blood, making her blood immune to evil.

 _For always_.

Her father already knew at that point in her young life that he'd have to leave his family and he tried to protect them any way he could. It wasn't exactly the most conventional way to protect someone he loved, but how on earth could Elkins have explained to his wife that he'd taken their infant daughter to a tattoo parlor? Or found some schmuck to do said tattoo?

Riley wiped her tears and sighed, looking up at her ceiling. The guilt she felt was a heavy weight on her chest; Dean had been at her side with her relapse when she'd stumbled and fallen five months ago, giving in to her old habits. He'd been there for her at night, when her anxieties were the worst, when the bunker was quiet and her thoughts were so loud.

Dean had opened his arms and his bed anytime she'd appeared in his doorway late at night. He'd been a man of his word, just like always, when he'd told her to come to him. Dean never judged her and she sought solace and comfort, both of which he openly gave without expecting anything back from her.

 _Please_ , she prayed silently. _Please give me the chance to save Dean._

Castiel's sudden presence made her eyes sting with fresh tears. "Riley." She had moved to the cold bunker floor, her back against the end of her bed. She looked up at him and his brow wrinkled, sensing her grief. "I am so sorry."

"Castiel, is it true?"

The forlorn look on the angel's face made Riley's shoulders slump. "Is what true?"

"Dean... will become a knight of hell?" _Give in to all the ugliness he'd fought his whole life to squash?_ She didn't say. "Cas?" His eyes closed when she called him by the nickname Dean always used.

"That is what the lore states." That made her nod. Castiel sat next to her on the floor, her tumultous emotional state making him sigh. "I am sorry." Riley leaned into him and he put an arm around her shoulders, something he'd seen Dean do with her on many occasions.

"You said I'm special."

"I did."

"Why is that?"

"You are warded against demonic posession."

"Does Sam know?"

"No."

"Castiel, is there any way we can..." She trailed off, feeling that overwhelming sadness crash into her like a six foot swell. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she fought for a breath. He hugged her closer, her anguish and guilt bleeding over onto him. "I can't..."

"I know." They were sitting there in Riley's room on the floor at the end of her bed when Sam came by to check on her. Castiel looked up and the younger Winchester was standing there, holding a plate with a sandwich on it. "Sam."

"Ry, you have to eat something."

"I'm not eating anything. I'm not hungry." The brunette spoke softly, her eyes downcast. Sam sighed and Castiel stared at him for a few seconds before touching her forehead. She slumped to the floor and Sam set the plate on her dresser before squatting to scoop her up and lay her on her bed.

"Thanks Cas." Sam breathed, tugging the blanket over her. "We need to talk about Dean..."

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 _"Dean?"_

 _"Yeah, sweetheart?"_

 _Riley shifted in the bed next to him, her hand sliding into the crook of his arm, her cheek resting comfortably against the soft tshirt stretched across his bicep. "Did you ever think that your life would turn out this way?"_

 _Beside her, Dean sighed. "Yeah... dad was obsessed with the thing that killed mom and Sammy and I were dragged into this life. But honestly, I couldn't imagine anything else." He felt her sigh against his arm before pressing a kiss there absently._

 _"No?"_

 _"It seemed like for every case we took care of, three more popped up. If I got out, who in the hell would save all these people?" Dean's tone held some distress. "Y'know?"_

 _"Do you think you can save everyone, Dean?"_

 _"I'd sure as hell like to try."_

 _His reply made Riley smile sadly in the darkness of her bedroom. "Thank you."_

 _"For what?"_

 _"For saving me."_

 _Dean exhaled through his nose. "You don't have to thank me for that."_

 _"I'm broken, Dean." Riley sniffled and she felt him lean in to press a kiss to the crown of her head. "Thank you for seeing more to me than... what I've done." Dean considered her words carefully._

 _"Right back at ya, Ry." He shifted to lay on his side and she closed her eyes when she felt Dean's strong arm around her, pulling her against him and hugging her close. "I've done a crap ton of good, but I've done some things... I'm not real proud of..." Riley nuzzled into his chest, her fingers clutching his tshirt._

 _"I don't care."_

 _"Neither do I." He paused. "We're all broken somehow Ry, how else would all the light get in?" Dean could almost hear her smile._

 _"You've read Hemmingway?"_

 _"I may have."_

 _Riley reached up to gently cup his stubbled cheek in the darkness. "I won't forget you're suffering, even when you're brave, Dean Winchester." He turned his face a bit and kissed her palm, making her giggle softly._

 _"Touche, Riley." He laid there next to the brunette, looking at her in a way no one else ever had._

 _They were quiet for a moment. "Dean?"_

 _"Yeah?"_

 _"You are so beautiful."_

 _Even in the darkness, she could see him blush. "What?"_

 _"You have a beautiful soul, Dean." Riley paused to yawn. "Yeah, you're physically attractive, but you have this amazing energy inside you."_

 _"Thanks, Ry." He wasn't sure anyone had ever said anything like that to him._

 _"G'night, Dean." Riley relaxed into him contentedly; in his arms, she found safety and Dean felt like home. Something she hadn't felt in a very long time._

 _"Night, sweetheart." He whispered back._

Dean's lips were pressed against her forehead and Riley's eyes closed, engulfed in the feeling of warmth he gave her. She snuggled closer and sighed contentedly before his touch faded gradually and her eyes fluttered open to see where he'd gone. He wasn't laying next to her and she sat up so fast, the room spun. "Dean?"

Sam was in the kitchen when he heard Riley's sleepy voice call out to his brother, sounding so lost. "Ry?" Sam called back, abandoning his mug of coffee and heading for her room. His walk turned into a jog when he heard her scream tear through the bunker like ice water through his veins.

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Hello readers!

So I _loved_ that new episode! I won't spoil anything for those of you who haven't watched it yet, but just know that Dean in that shirt freaking _slays_ my ass. _Every. Damn. Time._

Let me know what you thought of this chapter. What did you guys think about Riley's baptism? Does it kill you to know Dean continues to haunt Riley's dreams, even after he's gone? :( Reviews are love!

CitrineMama


	19. Chapter 19

Sam was sitting on the edge of Riley's bed and she was laying on her left side facing the door, still in the same clothes she'd had on for the last three days, when he'd brought Dean home. His studious eyes moved over her disheveled appearance. She hadn't showered, her hair hadn't been brushed and her eyes were dull, that sparkle Sam had grown to love was long gone now.

 _Along with his brother._

"Sam?"

"Yeah, honey?" His tone was comforting to her and she shifted a bit to look him in the eye.

"I love your brother." Sam blinked a few times at her unexpected statement. "I love him because he wasn't perfect. He was broken and still, he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders." Her hand came up to wipe away a tear that had escaped. "A long time ago, for my 21st birthday, Bobby got me this bowl from Japan. In their culture, the repairs on pottery and things are often done with gold or silver." She pushed up off the mattress and moved to her trunk at the foot of her bed. Riley opened the lid and shuffled around before she found the an object and handed it to Sam gingerly.

It was a bowl that was a deep reddish brown color and there were gold lines where it had been repaired. "It's beautiful." Sam spoke softly, the weight of the bowl heavy in his hands. His hazel gaze moved to hers when she sat down next to him.

"The Japanese call it kintsukuroi... it's an art form that recognizes the object to be more beautiful having been broken." She sat down on the edge of her bed, her hands clutched tightly in her lap. "Bobby always had this uncanny way of knowing exactly what I needed." Riley swallowed the lump in her throat. "We all have our scratches and dents, I guess, right?"

"This isn't your fault, Riley."

"I wish I could've saved him, Sam." Her voice was choked with emotion. He'd set the bowl bowl on top of her trunk to his right and turned back to pull her in for a hug before she started to cry again. Sam's eyes closed when he felt her arms around his neck. "I'm so sorry."

"This isn't your fault." His repeated words were a whisper now.

"He saved me, Sam... and I couldn't save him."

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Sam had managed to talk Riley into getting a shower. She'd spent close to twenty minutes in there with the water running while she sobbed. Sam had stood outside the bathroom door, waiting for her.

Inside, looking down at her shaking hands, Riley struggled to breathe normally. A soft sob escaped her lips and her chest tightened even more, feeling a sense of overwhelming panic threatening to overtake her.

She barely felt the sting of the hot water against her bare skin. She felt numb and panicked, all at the same time.

Didn't remember leaving Dean's bedroom.

Didn't remember stripping off her clothes for the shower.

Riley hadn't even realized she was crying until the cheap plastic curtain was yanked back and a pair of strong, calloused hands were on her; one on her lower back and the other taking the half empty shampoo bottle out of her left hand. "Easy Ry," His voice was gentle and her breath caught in her throat. She closed her eyes tightly and she felt him rinsing the rest of the shampoo from her hair before cranking the hot water off. "Step out here... I got you." She nodded slightly, her chocolate eyes fighting to focus on his face, his hazel eyes studying her reaction, or lack thereof.

Sam wrapped the last clean towel around her before helping her down to her bedroom, sitting her down on her bed. She stared at the floor in front of her, the towel clutched loosely in her hands around her torso. He appeared in front of her again and knelt down to meet her eyes. Riley felt him slipping something on her legs before pulling a tshirt over her head. She let the towel drop and Sam averted his eyes as she tugged the oversized tshirt down, sliding her arms in the sleeves somewhat clumsily. "Got to pull up your underwear, Riley."

She tugged them up under the towel and let the damp white towel tumble to the floor at her feet. Sam's warm hands touched her upper arms and she raised her eyes to his. She looked utterly lost. "I can't do this, Sam." He put an arm around her shoulders and hugged her to him for a moment. She finally pushed back and nodded to him. Riley closed her eyes as she felt the gentle tug of her comb through her wet tangled hair. Sam's warm hand found hers a moment later and she let him lead her out into the war room.

He still couldn't coax Riley into eating anything and he was worried. She'd adamently refused anything he'd offered, although her stomach was growling loud enough for him to hear it. "Riley, please. I'll go get you a pizza or something. Please let me take care of you." She sank into one of the chairs, tucking her feet under her.

"I don't want you taking care of me." _I_ _want_ _Dean_. "Just leave me alone."

Sam's eyes darkened at her bitter tone. "You listen to _me_." That firm tone she'd never heard him use gained her full attention. "You have to _eat_. You have to _sleep_." He leaned forward to brace his hands on the arms of her chair in the war room. "How on earth are you gonna help me find Dean if you won't take care of yourself? Damnit Riley."

His emotional words were all it took for her to break down again. Riley reached up and her arms were around his neck as she sobbed into his shoulder. Sam hugged her tight, afraid to let the brunette go. "I'm so sorry, Sam."

"Please. Let me take care of you. I need you too, you know." He pulled back some and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "When I get my brother back and you're a mess, he's gonna kick my ass royally for not taking care of you for him." For some reason, that reason made her even sadder. "Let me take care of you, Ry." He let her go to cup her cheeks in his huge hands, forcing her brown eyes to meet his. "For Dean."

"For Dean." She whispered back and there was a hint of a smile of his features.

Sam hugged her close again before releasing him. "I'm gonna make us something to eat and we'll get back on the books." He helped her out of the wooden chair and onto the couch, surprised at how wobbly her legs were under her. Sam pulled a fluffy blanket that was thrown haphazardly over the back of the couch over her. "I'll be a back in a couple minutes. Just close your eyes, honey." Her chocolate gaze held his before she obeyed a few seconds later.

He winced when he looked into the fridge for something to eat. Their food supply had dwindled down since they'd last gone for a supply run. Sam pulled out some eggs and parmesean cheese. He cracked the eggs in the skillet before turning on the coffee pot. He cooked up some scrambled eggs for them and carried the two plates back into the war room. His expression softened when he heard her soft snore. Setting the plates down carefully, Sam moved to her and a sad smile tugged at his lips.

He sat down at the other end of the couch, moving her lower legs across his lap. He put his feet up on the coffee table and slouched down a bit, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.

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 _Riley was staring openly at Dean as he slept. She never made it a habit to look at him that closely and she always felt awkward studying people up close like that, afraid that she'd seem like a creeper. Yes, Dean was devastatingly handsome and even after the last several months of staying with the boys, Riley still felt nervous talking to him sometimes, his intense jade eyes making her feel like he was staring straight into her deepest thoughts._

 _His bedside lamp was on the lowest setting and she continued to gaze at the man next to her. His chest rose and fell evenly with his breathing and she relaxed some when the cadence between his breaths didn't change, indicating he was still in a deep sleep. Dean really was beautiful, Riley smiled to herself._

 _He had a light dusting of freckles across his nose and cheeks that she'd never noticed before. His full lips were parted slightly in his slumber and her hand moved up to brush the backs of her knuckles against the light stubble on his right cheek. His dark lashes fanned out against his skin, tanned from the hours spent sitting in his car with the window down, the sunlight shining in as they drove. Riley's index finger traced a small, faded scar on his eyebrow._

 _His green eyes fluttered open sleepily and she pulled her hand back, embarassed. "Mornin' sweetheart," He murmured. "You countin' my freckles while I sleep?"_

 _Riley's eyes twinkled at his teasing words, a light blush on her cheeks. "No, I was just... looking at you." Dean watched her get embarassed, his eyes heavy lidded with sleep._

 _His hand caught hers before it could make a retreat. Dean pulled her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles softly. "You sleep okay?" The brunette froze at the sensation of his lips against her skin, not used to a man paying such attention to her. He was making her feel all sorts of things and her eyes moved from his and she didn't catch the way his brow wrinkled at her aversion to his gaze. "Ry? You alright?"_

 _She nodded once. "I'm sorry..."_

 _Dean pressed another kiss to her knuckles before tucking their hands against his chest as he shifted to face her. "Sorry for what?"_

 _"I don't know..." Riley closed her eyes and stiffened slightly when she felt him let go of her hand and pull her against him, his arm heavy and comforting around her torso._

 _"You don't have to apologize for anything, sweetheart." She felt him press a second kiss to her forehead. "I'm right here. Go back to sleep." His nose nuzzled into her hair some before she felt him roll her on her back slightly and her heart rate quickened when she felt some of his weight on top of her. Dean reached out across her body and fumbled for the switch on the lamp on the nightstand behind her, bathing the bedroom in darkness. He moved back a bit and his arm came around her waist again. "You alright?" Riley only nodded against him, the stubble on his chin against her forehead. Dean could feel her heart pounding and he spoke again. "I'm right here, Ry."_

Her brown eyes fluttered open and the realization that she'd just dozed off and this was just a memory of one of their nights together hit her like a punch to the gut and she squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to cry again. Dean was out there someplace and all's she wanted was to have him home.

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Good evening!

So now that Dean's gone, Riley and Sam are left to pick up the pieces. Will she come clean about her past or will Sam find out some other way? Stay tuned!

CitrineMama


	20. Chapter 20

"I have a couple leads." Sam's statement made her ears perk up over the kitchen table. She'd been pushing her cereal around in her bowl of milk with her spoon, not eating more than a few bites, each one curdling in her stomach. "I'm gonna head out today with Castiel." His hazel eyes focused on her. "I want you to stay here."

"You gonna cuff me to the sink again?" Her attempt at a joke fell flat and he tilted his head. "Sorry."

"I want you to be safe. Me and Cas will go check this stuff out." He finished his oatmeal. "We'll be gone for a couple days. You got food here and supplies." Sam rose to put his dish in the sink. "You'll be safe here."

"I'm scared." Her soft admission made his features soften a bit.

"You wanna go down to the range?" Sam tried again; he'd asked her a few weeks prior to learn how to shoot, but Riley had adamently refused.

 _"I'm not gonna shoot him, Sam. I won't." The brunette shook her head._

 _"You need to know how to protect yourself," he'd argued. "Bobby told you in his letter to let one of us teach you how to use a weapon." She shot him a glare. "What if he attacks you?"_

 _"I don't care what Bobby said... I'm not doing it. Forget it, Sam. He's not gonna hurt me."_

 _"You don't know that. We should consider him dangerous... I don't wanna take that chance," Sam insisted. "Please, just let me show you-," She cut him off._

 _"No, alright?" Riley snapped back. "You can leave a gun for me, but I ain't usin' it, Sam."_

 _He threw his hands up in frustration. "Riley, you're impossible."_

 _"Thanks."_

 _"Let me show you how to turn off the safety so you can you it." He held out the .22 and she turned her face away. "Damnit... you're as bull headed as my brother was."_

 _The past tense use made her eyes snap to his. "Is. As stubborn as he is."_

 _"Right." He set the gun down and she moved into his arms where he hugged her tight. "You're right. As stubborn as he is." Sam murmured._

Riley gave him a look and he held up his hands defensively. "Fine. I'm gonna get my stuff together and Castiel and I are gonna get going."

At the mention of his name, the angel appeared in a fluttering of wings. "Good morning."

"Hey Cas," Riley murmured, pushing her cereal bowl back a bit. Castiel nodded to Sam, who held up two fingers before leaving the kitchen to grab his bag. "You guys are heading out, hm?"

"How are you holding up, Riley?"

She forced a small smile. "How do you think?"

"Terribly." His honesty made her smile sadly. "We will find Dean and we will bring him back."

Riley sighed softly and ran her left index finger around the rim of her coffee mug. "It's been two months, Castiel." Pause. "57 days since... he's been gone." Her chocolate gaze rested on the tip of her finger as it swirled around and around the mug, steam rising from her freshly poured coffee.

Castiel watched her close off again as she sat on the kitchen stool, a fuzzy blanket around her shoulders. Riley was wearing one of Dean's tshirts and a pair of gray pajama pants that were frayed at the bottom hem. Her hair was wavy and tangled and Castiel studied her tear swollen eyes, ever present bags underneath from her lack of sleep. Her cereal bowl was abandoned now and coffee was all Sam could seem to get in her anymore. He'd given into that, sneaking in vanillla protein powder to every cup of coffee. Not enough to where it would thicken, Sam always made sure of that.

"I'm ready," Sam breezed back in the bunker kitchen, his duffle in tow. He leaned down to hug Riley tight and kiss her cheek. "You call Jody if you need anything. I'll be back in a couple days and I have my phone. Love you, Riley girl." That made tears sting her eyes. Sam smiled when he felt her hug his neck tight.

"Love you, Sammy." Dean's nickname from her lips made him nod, a tightlipped smile on his mouth. "Bring him home."

"You got it." The pair left the kitchen and she heard the garge door open and close a moment later.

The brunette walked back to her bedroom, flopped back on her bed and sighed. Castiel and Sam were gone and she felt exhaustion tugging at her incessantly. Tired was all she seemed to feel these days and it wasn't so much physical as it was emotional. She closed her eyes after setting her alarm on her phone for a couple hours.

 _Then maybe I'll get up at noon and make some lunch or something,_ Riley thought to herself. She found herself yawning and pulling her fluffy throw over herself, snuggling into her pillow, still in her pajamas. She fell into a restless slumber and all she could dream of was Dean. No matter how fast she ran, it wasn't enough to get to him. He always seemed out of reach. Her sleep was restless and fitfull as he watched her from the doorway for a long time.

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She squirmed under the blanket, turning her face this way and that before she heard a familiar voice. "Mornin', sweetheart." Her eyes flew open and there he was, sitting on the wooden chair in the corner, a smirk on his mouth and a sparkle in his eyes.

"Dean?" Riley choked out, reaching up to rub the sleep from her eyes. "Dean?" When she opened them again, he was gone but she swore he'd just been sitting there. Her phone alarm went off then, startling her. She shut it off and tossed it back on the bed next to her. "God, I'm losing my mind." She murmured, pushing her messy hair back before untangling her legs from the blanket. She sat at the side of the bed for a few seconds before heading down the hall, clothing in hand, for a hot shower.

15 minutes later...

Riley was pulling on a flannel shirt over her gray tank top when she heard the familiar sound of Dean's footfalls coming down the tiled hallway of the bunker. She dismissed that as safe and fluffed her damp hair with her fingers before she froze suddenly.

 _Dean was dead._

 _He'd died at the hand of metatron eight weeks earlier._

Riley was suddenly hyperaware that she was alone at the bunker and Sam had left about two hours earlier, heading out with Castiel on a lead on Dean. The footsteps stopped for a few seconds and she put her cellhone on silent and slid it in her bra, internally freaking out. She cursed herself for not charging her phone while she slept.

Thirty percent battery life was all she had left.

Riley swallowed hard before reaching for the .22 gun in the nightstand drawer that Sam insisted she have. She was shaking so badly, her teeth were chattering and to her shock and horror, the footsteps started again.

"Riley?" Dean's tone was singsong and cocky, so unlike the sweet one he'd always used with her. "I know you're here sweetheart. I saw Sammy and Cas leave. You may as well come out."

Those words made her blood turn to ice water in her veins. She was in her bedroom and before she could react, Dean's boot made contact with her door, slamming it open. He was standing in her doorway, effectively trapping her there. "Hey there, sweetheart." He wore a dangerous smirk and glanced at the gun in her hands. "Aww c'mon, you aren't gonna use that and you and I both know it."

Riley felt the sting of tears in her eyes and she backed away from him, the .22 in her hands pointed at his chest. "Dean?' Her voice broke when she spoke his name; she hadn't really spoken his name since the night he died, then disappeared into thin air from his bedroom at the bunker three days later.

"It's all me." His sillouette was illuminated by the hallway lights and she felt the bunker wall behind her, as cold as his cocky tone. "I've missed you."

"Stop." Dean kept advancing on her slowly and Riley realized he had a hammer in his left hand. "Please." The predatory look in his eyes made her whimper and the tiniest smirk appeared on the corner of his mouth. "Dean, please."

Dean was standing in front of her and he reached out confidently, removing the gun from Riley's grasp without any problem and as he did so, tears spilled freely down her cheeks. Dean tossed her gun on her unmade bed. The brunette's hands moved to cover her mouth. Her eyes were on his emerald ones. He smirked at her. "There. I knew you wouldn't shoot me." His voice was arrogant; never had he used that tone with her.

"Where did you go?" Brielle whispered through her hands. Her brown eyes were locked on his face; there was something sinister about his half smile.

 _Something dark._

She had so many unanswered questions and the man in front of her seemed... off somehow.

Dean didn't respond; he blinked deliberately and his dazzling green eyes were suddenly an inky black and she gasped softly. He blinked again and they were back to emerald green. "I'm back and better than ever."

"You're... you're a..." Her frightened tone made him smirk again, making her shiver.

Dean flashed her a brilliant smile. "Like I said, better than ever." To his surprise, Riley gave in completely. The scared brunette in front of him slid to the floor, her hands still over her mouth, her chocolate eyes closing tightly. "Riley?" He sounded confused at her actions. Quite honestly, he'd expected a fight from her.

"Just do it." Her choked whisper made Dean cant his head to the side.

"Excuse me?" He sounded confused.

"Just kill me."

"I didn't come here to do that." Dean squatted in front of her. "I came here to kill my brother. Him leaving you alone was just a bonus." Her eyes opened when she felt his iron grip around her forearm and he pulled her to her feet. "You, sweetheart, are what I call _leverage_." He tossed the hammer on her bed alongside her gun. "Let's go."

Riley tried pulling away from him, but he squeezed harder, making her whimper. "I said let's _go_."

"Dean, please don't." She pleaded as he forced her into the hallway. In a flash, Dean had her up against the wall, his free hand around her throat and his face two inches from hers. She whimpered when he applied a bit more pressure to her pulse point, making her feel lightheaded. "Please." Her eyes were on his as he towered over her, crowding into her personal space.

"Riley, don't _piss_ me off. _Walk_." She wasn't stupid; she knew if he took her from the bunker, she was probably as good as dead. She stopped walking a few seconds later and his eyes flashed to black as his temper flared even more with her halted movement.

The sight of those coal black eyes made Riley forget why she'd stopped. "Where are you taking me?"

"Don't worry about it." His grip tightened and she knew he was bruising her forearm. "Walk."

"I need shoes." Her voice was soft and Dean rolled his eyes flippantly. He led her to the front closet and let her go momentarily. She knelt down and shuffled through the mess that was her, Sam and Dean's disorganized array of footwear. Dean watched her pull on running shoes and tie them before she felt him yank her to her feet.

"Go." His tone was dangerous and she let him lead her to the garage where his car was. "Where's the impala?" For the first time, he didn't reference the black car as _Baby_ and that was the moment she realized he was so far gone.

"Sam and Castiel..." Riley spoke softly. He rolled his eyes flippantly.

"Get in the truck." Dean wrenched open the door and she scrambled in, sliding across the bench seat. He pulled the keys down from the visor and got in, starting the truck. He pulled the door shut before opening the garage door. Riley was still in shock, staring at Dean as he drove out the access road towards the main highway.

He glanced over at the brunette was she put on her seatbelt with shaking hands. She looked up at him and dark brown met the dazzling green she'd missed so much. Dean stared back at the woman next to him for a few seconds before turning his attention to the dirt road leading away from the bunker. "You're as beautiful as I remember." That was unexpected and she blinked rapidly, not believing what he'd just said. Riley didn't say anything and he continued. "Did you miss me?"

She turned her attention to the passing scenery out her window. It had started to rain, suiting her dismal mood. "I miss _my_ Dean, not the monster sitting next to me." Her careful words made his eyebrow quirk.

"It's still me."

"No, it isn't."

He glanced over at her again, the sun starting to fade, giving way to the darkness in the east. "You care about Dean."

Silence fell over the truck cab except for the swishing of the truck's wiper blades. "Of course I do!" Her words were soft. "He is _family_ to me. Just like Sam."

Dean chuckled softly. "No, I meant you had feelings for him." Riley just shook her head, arms crossed tightly over her chest, her throat tightening at the way he was trying to bait her.

"Where are you taking me?" She deflected, repeating her earlier question.

"Someplace private. Safe."

She rolled her eyes. "I was someplace safe, _asshole_."

Dean grinned. "That's the spitfire I love." He glanced over at her, his gaze making her feel uncomfortable. "Sit back and enjoy the ride, sweetheart. We'll be there soon enough." He snapped his fingers and she slumped to the bench seat next to him, fast asleep.

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A/N:

Bobby _clearly_ warned Riley in the letter to let one of the boys teach her how to handle a gun and she refused. Kidnapped by Demon!Dean with low battery life on her cellphone? How is she gonna talk her way outta this one? Reviews are love!

CitrineMama


	21. Chapter 21

Hello y'all!

 **Mayremmy** , **EmilyAnnMcgarrett** - **Winchester** , **ButterflyAlley** and **SaphyraBlu13** Thank you thank you THANK YOU all for your reviews on the last chapter! Glad you guys are enjoying this story and continue to follow the journey. Stay tuned and have a lovely day!

CitrineMama

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They pulled into a hotel a few hours later. "Riley," Dean's firm tone made her eyes snap open and she pushed up off the bench seat, cowering away from the man next to her. "You listen to me." Dean parked the truck and leaned in to threaten her. "You walk in there with me. Not one word. I will snap your neck and not think twice. You hear me?" Terrified, Riley nodded. Dean got out and she moved across the seat, getting out on his side. Dean pulled a duffle out from behind his seat and slung it over his shoulder.

The parking lot was nearly full and she dared to glance around at their surroundings a little as they walked across the paved lot. Riley recognized the blue and green hotel chain immediately, filing away that detail for later. Dean noticed her looking around and squeezed her arm a little tighter. She glanced at him, his expression unamused. Riley dropped her gaze to the blacktop before they walked inside the lobby, her heart pounding in her chest.

"Good evening sir." The male desk clerk spoke, waving him over to the side of the line that had formed at the desk in the lobby and Dean nodded to him, a cold little smirk on his perfect mouth and Riley felt goosebumps on her skin. That clerk returned the same smirk, his eyes flicking to hers for a fraction of a second and it dawned on her.

 _He was a demon too_ , she realized in horror. He slid a key card across the countertop and Dean picked it up. "Enjoy your stay, Mr. Winchester." The demon gave Riley a nod and she felt her stomach drop. There were probably demons all over this place and she knew no way to know demon from human. There was no way she could alert someone that she was in trouble and if she happened to signal for help and Dean found out about it, Riley knew what he was capable of now.

They took the stairs instead of the elevator up to the seventh floor, Dean's hand wrapped around her forearm the entire time as she lagged behind a few steps, his stride longer and stronger than hers. "You're hurting me." Riley spoke softly and he didn't reply.

Instead Dean stopped suddenly on the landing between the fourth and fifth floors and turned his smoldering gaze back on her. He yanked her against him, his green eyes almost darkening to black with his anger. "I feel like you're gonna try something stupid, Riley."

"Please." Her soft plea made his expression soften almost imperceptively. "You're hurting my arm." He let her go and her other hand came up to rub her forearm. Her eyes held his for a few seconds in the stairwell. "I can walk, Dean." Riley's statement was accentuated by a nod from her and his calloused fingers slid unexpectedly into hers.

They walked side by side the rest of the way up the stairs and when they reached the seventh floor, Dean pulled open the stairwell door with his left hand. They walked down the hall to the last room on the floor, where he shoved the key card in the slot. The light flashed green, gaining access to their room for the evening.

The heavy door closed behind them and Dean saw the brunette flinch at the noise. He let go of her hand then and she wrapped her arms around herself. He toed off his boots and she followed suit out of habit and he tossed his duffle on the couch, brushing past her. "I'm gonna shower. This place is warded, so good luck leaving." His curt tone was back and she sighed softly.

Riley didn't reply as the bathroom door closed behind him. She waited until the water turned on and she moved across the room and pulled back the curtain, glancing behind her at the bathroom door. _Four hours had passed while they drove,_ she realized when she looked at the screen. Quick as a wink, she pulled out her cellphone and snapped a picture of the street and city below and forwarded the picture to Sam's call before sending a text.

 _Dean took me. Holiday Inn Express. Not sure where. 4 hrs from bunker._

Sent.

The water shut off and Riley shoved the cellhone back into her bra and took in a shaky breath. The bathroom door opened and Dean walked out, wearing only a towel. She averted her eyes to the window again. He smirked at her shyness. "Get away from the window." Riley moved back, the curtain fluttering away from her fingers. She crossed her arms over her chest, her chocolate eyes on the plush hotel carpet under their feet. She heard the sounds of him pulling on fresh clothes. "You hungry?"

"No." She spoke softly. It was nearly 6 pm according to the clock on the wall above the armoire that housed the television. Dean was standing there, shirtless, in his jeans, his green eyes on her.

"I'll order something for you to eat." His voice was softer now. Riley didn't reply, keeping her eyes from his, not wanting to see her favorite shade of green flash to black. "Ry?"

"Don't call me that." Her voice broke and somewhere inside of him, Dean felt something shift. She blinked a couple times and he realized she was holding back tears. He pulled on a fitted tshirt and white socks before moving to the room phone on the nightstand next to the king sized bed.

The brunette glanced at him, his back to her as he spoke, ordering her room service before he hung up a moment later. Dean turned to the scared young woman a few feet away. Dean saw her shoulders tense up at his close proximity. Riley's eyes closed briefly, wondering when he would just snap and kill her with those warm, calloused hands.

Hands that had stitched her up and dressed her self inflicted wounds with such compassion.

Hands that had pulled her in for a hug everytime they lost someone on a bad hunt and he needed comfort.

Hands that had smoothed her hair back after she'd had a nighttime panic attack, before hugging her close and humming to her.

"Riley, have a seat." She didn't move and he reached out to her and she visibly flinched at his touch. His now green eyes saw the bruises on her right forearm where he'd gripped her tight, forcing her from the bunker. His hand was warm on her back and she allowed herself to be led to the couch in front of the armoire. Riley sat down slowly, wondering if Sam would figure out where she was from her cryptic text and picture.

Dean looked down at her before sitting down as well, putting his feet up on the cherry wood coffee table in front of them. There was silence in the room except for the clock ticking. Riley kept her eyes from his and he smirked again at her passive demeanor. "Riley?"

Nothing.

"I won't hurt you if you cooperate. Tell me where Sam is."

Silence.

"Are you gong to ignore me all night?"

Again, nothing from the brunette. Dean wanted a reaction and he was determined to get it.

"Are you hearing me?" He reached out and grabbed a fistful of her wavy brown hair, forcing her to look at him. Riley's expression was blank as she stared at him, her eyes unreadable. "Answer me, bitch."

Again, she kept her emotions in check by some miracle. This infuriated him and he twisted his fingers, pulling her hair. Riley closed her eyes, wishing she were anywhere but there, with this sadistic psychopath. Dean leaned in, his breath on her lips. "You either answer me, or I'm gonna start using other methods to make you talk to me." His tone was sinister.

Icy silence from the brunette.

Dean growled and threatened her again. "Look at me and tell me where Sam is." Her eyes opened and she saw his eyes flash momentarily to black, then back to green. "Riley."

He let her go for a moment before he rose, his strong hand wrapping around her right bruised forearm and she winced at the contact. He yanked her to her feet and against his chest, her left hand stopping her from crashing into him completely. "Where is that feisty brunette Dean loved so much? Where's that fight in you?" She felt her chest tighten at his words. "Aww c'mon sweetheart."

"I'm giving up on you." Her words made his pause in his psychological torture. "I won't fight you. I won't argue. I'm done." That threw Dean off kilter. "So like I said, get it over with, whatever you're going to do. Kill me." A dark smirk took over his perfect lips.

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Sam's hazel eyes closed painfully when he checked his cellphone after it vibrated. It was a text from Riley, along with a fuzzy picture taken from high up, overlooking a busy street. "Cas..?"

Sensing his unease immediately, the angel looked up from the newspaper article he was reading. "Sam?"

The cellphone was paced on the table and slid over to him. Castiel's clear blue eyes scanned the text and he looked up, shock on his features. "This cannot be true." Sam picked up his phone and thumbed a call to Riley. There was no answer and he got up, starting to pace the dingy motel carpet. He stopped when her voicemail took over.

 _"It's me... you know what to do..."_

"She's not answering." Sam immediately redialed her number, yieldng the same result. "Shit."

"Sam, how would Dean have gotten to her? The bunker is warded." Castiel tried to be the voice of reason.

"Dean's not stupid... there's always a loophole." His throat worked to swallow. Sam sat back down at the tiny motel table and forwarded the picture she'd sent to his cell to his email and opened it up on his laptop. He zoomed into the tiny picture and scanned the fuzzy details, looking for any clue. "Does that say... thirteeth street?" He leaned forward, looking closely.

"It does." Castiel was looking over his shoulder now, startling him. Sam opened another search window and found the address and an image search yielded similar pictures to the one she's snapped and sent.

Sam's nimble fingers typed furiously as he cross searched the street name with the hotel chain. He mapped the route to the hotel and the locator he'd secretly put on Riley's phone alerted him to the same general area. "Okay. We're like... 6 hours away... can you get us there?"

"I'm running low on grace..." Castiel almost sounded embarassed. "I'm sorry..."

"Let's get our stuff and go." Sam closed the laptop and shoved it in his bag while Cas picked up the other bags.

"What about the case?" Castiel asked softly, halting Sam's frantic packing.

"Screw the case." His voice was shaking. The angel gave a nod and pulled out his own cell phone.

"I will call Garth and see if someone else can come and take care of it." The other man barely nodded.

Sam's heart was pounding and his mind was racing, remembering just what it was like to be carefree and not have any type of sense of right and wrong. The guilt he'd felt after regaining his soul nearly consumed him afterward. His brother was a ruthless, confident, cocky bastard and Sam knew that would not fare well for Riley and right now, there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

 _We're coming for you, Ry._ He texted back.

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	22. Chapter 22

Her gaze held his after his smirk appeared. Riley's expression was one of somnelence and quite frankly, that puzzled him. Dean wanted her to argue and put up a fight, wanted her to fuel the fire that raged on inside of him and the Mark on his arm, but she didn't.

" _Tell_ _me_ ," Dean yanked her close to him by her right forearm, her left hand landing on his right knee to keep from falling against him and into his lap as they sat on the couch in front of the armoire. "Where my brother is."

"I don't _know_." She spoke softly, tears stinging her eyes as he stared her down. "They left for a case."

"Where?"

"I told you... I _don't_ _know_."

Dean rolled his eyes flippantly at her response. "You know what happens when I find out you're lying to me?"

Riley tried to move back from him, but he didn't budge. "Let me go, Dean."

"Fine... have it your way." He released his hold on her arm and she looked down at the new red marks adorning her forearm. Riley could feel the weight of his intense gaze and it unnerved her.

"I don't know where they are." Her voice was even softer now. "You're scaring me, Dean." Her chocolate gaze moved to his, the emerald green turning to an inky black at her words. "Please... don't make your eyes do that." He surprisingly obliged her request, blinking slowly as they returned to green. His gaze moved over her, almost thoughtfully, surprised himself at her seemingly complacent demeanor.

 _Didn't she know how much danger she was actually in?_

"You were always so comfortable with Dean," He smirked, an eyebrow quirked ever so slightly. "I know you've even shared a bed on many occasions..." Riley felt her stomach drop to her feet and her eyes snapped back to his. Goosebumps formed on her skin and she started to tremble when he chuckled.

"Please... it wasn't like that..."

"Well _maybe..._ you wanted it to be..." Her dark eyes fluttered closed, knowing she was unarmed and at his mercy. Sam and Castiel were hundreds of miles away now and that thought made her stomach turn.

"Please, Dean..."

" _Please_ _Dean_ ," He mocked her and a tear slid down her cheek as she looked away from the monster in front of her. "Bet you're just like _all_ the rest of the women he's been with." Riley's eyes closed again at his crude words and he smirked at her shyness. "Or _are_ you?" Her lower lip trembled and she knew _exactly_ what he was driving at. "Maybe _someone_ needs a little _somethin_ ' to loosen her up... make her talk to me..."

Another tear escaped and she held in a sob. Was the demon riding Dean, or the knight of hell or _whatever_ , really going to follow through on his underlying threat? Before Riley could react, Dean stood up from the couch and pulled her across the room towards the king sized bed. "Please, don't... Dean, _please_." Riley struggled to free herself from his grip, terrified of what might transpire.

"Mm," Dean yanked her body close to his and he could feel her heart thudding wildly, her chest pressed against his as his arms locked around her waist. He leaned in to whisper and she squeezed her eyes shut. "Kinda like it when you beg me..." His lips brushed her ear. She started to cry softly and he felt her go lax in his hold. "C'mon, sugar... don't be like that..." Her palms were flat against his chest and Riley tried to push back from him, knowing it a futile effort.

The sharp knock at the door made her knees turn to jello. "Room service." A cheerful male voice called through the heavy door. Dean smirked at the timing and let go of Riley. She slid to the floor, sobbing quietly now. He crossed the room and opened the door. The two men exchanged a few words before she heard the door close and the sounds of Dean setting something on the coffee table in front of the couch. "You want something to eat?" He asked, as if he hadn't been threatening her seconds before. "Riley."

She jumped when he barked her name. "No." She whispered and he made a disgusted noise.

"Fine. Suit yourself, sugar. I'm gonna go to the bar." His boots were pulled on and he paused in front of her. "You be a good girl while I'm gone, hm?" Dean was looking down at her and a sob worked its way out, her shoulders heaving.

As soon as the heavy door closed behind him, Riley wiped her face, smoothing away her tears. She pulled her cell phone out of her bra and the screen was dark. So that meant Sam couldn't text or call or have any way to locate her. That made her stomach turn, knowing Dean would be down at the hotel bar, undoubtedly pounding away drinks before he would come back upstairs and finish what he started.

She scrambled to her feet and moved over to the sitting area. He'd ordered a fruit tray, some cheeses and two bottles of wine. Riley's gaze danced over the grapes and strawberries and various cubed cheeses before her eyes fell on the wine corker sitting next to the two goblets before she reached for it.

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"I've lost her signal." Sam murmured, glancing down at his cell phone as he drove. They'd contacted Garth three hours ago and a few other hunters were picking up the case they'd abandoned when they'd gotten Riley's text. They were under three hours from the hotel where Sam was sure Dean had taken Riley. Night was falling and Castiel was riding shotgun as they drove east, towards Kansas City. "Her phone died."

The angel sighed next to him. "I won't lie, Sam. I'm worried about Riley."

"No shit." Sam shot back and Castiel looked surprised at his reaction. "Dean has no conscience." He paused, his throat working to swallow. "Cas, when I didn't have my soul, I was basically a walking sociopath. I didn't care who I hurt. What I wanted and thought I needed, I took... by whatever means necessary." He took a breath, feeling the old guilt creeping back. "Cas, if he hurts her... and we get him back, I know Dean... he'll never forgive himself."

Castiel nodded, knowing Sam needed to vent. "Sam, do you know what souls are made of?"

"No."

"Well I don't either."

Sam glanced over at the angel. "Okay..." He wasn't sure where the angel was going with this.

"Whatever they are made of, though, Riley and Dean's are eerily similar." He paused. "Your brother and Riley are closely linked in that way." Castiel's voice was quiet, barely audible over the purr of the impala's engine.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I can see inside all of you, Sam. I can see the guilt and shame and everything that makes each of you good. What I've seen inside Dean, since the beginning, I also sense in Riley. They haven't had the same life experiences, yet they harbor the same feelings."

Sam considered that. "They've gotten along well since the day we all met." He smiled a bit. "She and Dean share a special friendship."

Castiel nodded. "I know they do."

"We gotta get there." Sam murmured, pressing his foot down harder on the accelerator.

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A/N:

Hello lovelies!

The thing that always made me worry was when the boys lost themselves to the evil they work so hard to stop. Will Sam and Castiel get there in time? Is Dean going to cross a line that he won't be able to backpedal from? Is this going to make you all sure to keep your cell phones charged? Reviews are love!

CitrineMama

P.S. I did a tiny change/update to chapter 19. Nothing huge, but just realized one small thing was missing. ;)


	23. Chapter 23

Dean had a few beers at the hotel bar before he glanced at the clock. The older blonde woman at the end of the bar, maybe in her mid forties, had been eyeing him up for the last hour, but he'd purposefully kept his eyes from hers, not wanting to deal with that shit right now. Despite the no smoking signs above the bottles on the back shelving of the bar, a light haze hung silently in the air. He tipped back his tumbler, draining the cold contents, the ice clinking softly in the glass as he set it back on the shiny bar top.

It was nearly midnight as he settled his bill with the male barkeep before leaving a few singles on the bar next to his empty glass. His eyes inadvertently met the blonde's gaze and Dean looked past her as he walked by, heading up to he and Riley's suite. Random sex with some barfly was seemingly always at the top of his to do list when he woke up as a knight of hell, but tonight, that seemed to be the very last thing on his mind.

The elevator ride upstairs was quiet, but his mind was racing. Dean's thoughts regarding the brunette he'd basically kidnapped from the bunker were somewhat jumbled and confusing. His nimble fingers pulled the card key from his back pocket. He slid the key in the slot and the light flashed green. Dean pushed open the heavy door and closed it quietly behind him, almost not wanting to wake the brunette should she happen to be sleeping.

His eyes flashed to black when he saw the empty suite and he paused for a second, listening for any telltale sound. Hearing nothing but silence, Dean moved across the living room before the bedroom, seeing the bathroom door was closed. He opened it and saw the brunette sitting in the bathtub, her flannel sleeves shoved haphazardly upward. Both her wrists were oozing blood, the wine corker still loosely clutched in her right hand, the dull little blade inside covered with her blood. "Riley?" His voice was choked and he almost didn't recognize it.

Her dark red blood was such a stark contrast to the all white bathroom, the very contents of her life spilling down her sides, trailing down her torso and along her legs towards the drain. Her eyes were closed and her flannel and jeans were soaked in her blood. Dean hoisted her out of the tub with strength he didn't know he had and carried her to the bedroom, laying her down on the crisp white comforter. Yes, Dean was a knight of hell now, but something deep inside the vessel took over when he saw her laying there in that bathtub, covered in blood at her own hand.

"Damnit." He growled; Dean never imagined that she would pull a stunt like this.

 _Ever again_ , he thought bitterly.

She _was_ still breathing though. He'd been down at the bar for about an hour, so Dean knew she must have done this as soon as he left, hoping this would be over before he came back. Dean moved back to the bathroom and his now green eyes fell on her cell phone on the counter top. He was surprised to see it and picked it up to examine it. The screen was black and the battery was dead now, but he hadn't known she'd had it and knew that at some point, she must have contacted Sam or Cas.

Dean looked over his shoulder at her still form laying on the bed before he slipped her phone in his pocket. He moved back into the bedroom and towards the window, pulling back the sheer white curtains a bit. His calloused hand pulled out his own cell phone and punched in the ever familiar digits that were ingrained in the vessel. "Sam?" There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the phone. "It's me... I have Riley..."

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"Sam?" Even the angel picked up on the subtle change on Sam's features when he let the phone drop from his ear to the bench seat next to him.

"That was Dean," He murmured. "Or whatever the hell my brother is now..." His face was lit up momentarily by an oncoming car's headlights. "He said... he had Riley."

Castiel let out a breath at the information. "He has her _alive_?"

Sam's jaw clenched at the filter-less question, knowing the angel hadn't meant to upset him by asking that. "He didn't say... just gave me the address... the same one we're headed to now..."

"Is she...?"

The only reply was Sam's foot pressing down even harder on the accelerator.

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Dean was standing by the window, looking down onto the evening darkened street below when he heard the suite door behind him unlock quietly. "Heya Sammy." He could feel his brother's presence a mile away and even as a knight of hell, the incredible bond they shared was still inexplicably the same. Sam's gun was aimed at him, he was absolutely sure of that.

"Dean?" His hazel eyes swept over the hotel room to make sure they were alone and Castiel moved inside the suite as well, closing the door behind them. The older man turned slowly to face them, his expression neutral. "Where's Riley?" There was a hint of warning there in Sam's tone and some worry as well.

"She's right in there." Dean nodded to the bedroom and Sam moved closer to the doorway, his studious eyes watching every movement the other man made. Dean's emerald gaze moved to the angel, who held the demon blade tightly in his left hand, ready in case this went sideways. "Cas." His casual acknowledgement was unexpected and the angel gave a single nod.

Sam, deciding the bedroom was safe as well, tucked his handgun into the back of his jeans and moved into the room, seeing Riley laying motionless on the king sized bed. Both of her wrists were bandaged and she looked pale, but she was alive. Riley's chest rose and fell evenly and Sam's studious gaze raked over her form, taking a mental inventory of any wounds.

His heart rate sped up as he noted clear finger marks on her forearms and on her neck, already starting to bruise. "What did you do to her?" Sam's anger boiled over as he checked her pulse and her pupils, his hands warm against her cool skin. She whimpered softly when she felt his touch and he was grateful to hear her respond to him. "Dean?" There was a protective tone in his angry voice and the older man wasn't shocked. "What the _hell_ did you do?"

"I patched her up," Dean's voice was unusually quiet. Hazel flashed to green as Sam straightened. "She did that to herself when I went down to the bar..." Castiel stepped closer to Dean and the metallic clink of the handcuffs made Dean look from Cas to his brother.

"I'm taking you _both_ home." Sam ground out, his own fury threatening to take over and just kill his own brother right there in the hotel bedroom without a second thought. Dean studied his younger brother for a few tense seconds before he held out his wrists towards him submissively. Sam crossed the bedroom, pulling the heavy cuffs from Castiel's hands before snapping them on the monster in front of him that used to be his brother.

"She's gonna be okay, right?" There was some semblance of concern in Dean's voice and Sam rolled his eyes before snapping out angrily.

"You'd better hope so." Blatant hate laced his tone and Dean's green eyes moved to the angel.

"I will heal her." Castiel said quietly. Dean nodded, his eyes moving back to Sam as he scooped up Riley in his arms. She murmured something against him as he straightened and he shushed her softly.

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Riley felt cold hands probing her neck and she whimpered at the unexpected sensation. A gruff male voice invaded her groggy world before she felt everything tilt and the cool, hardness under her back be replaced by a set of strong arms. He spoke again to her and she didn't have the strength to reply or give any indication she'd heard the words he'd spoken. She felt herself swaying back on forth a bit as she was carried to a much softer surface and laid down gently. The cool, calloused hand smoothed her hair back and touched her cheek before he left her side again.

His voice was somewhat recognizable to her ears and Riley heard him talking somewhat near to her before she felt a familiar weight settle next to her body, but she was too tired to open her eyes to see the person next to her. Riley felt strangely safe next to this person and she felt wave after wave of exhaustion washing over her, beckoning her back to sleep. The same calloused hand moved over her head, smoothing down her mousy brown hair as he sat next to her, his back against the headboard while he waited for his brother to rescue them.

 _Both of them._

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Hello lovelies!

I've been on vacation for the past couple weeks and was pretty much unplugged for most of the time. The beach does wonders for the soul, doesn't it? :)

Hope you all enjoy this update. Let me know what you think and feed my muse. She likes reviews. And cookies.

CitrineMama


	24. Chapter 24

Riley's eyes fluttered open and her heart was pounding wildly in her chest. She immediately recognized her desk near the door in her bedroom and relaxed slightly as she took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm herself. A moment passed and she yawned before pushing up off the bed to sit at the side. The nightmare she'd had was so incredibly real and she rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands, unconsciously trying to erase the images from her mind.

Damn, had that ever been vivid. Riley couldn't _ever_ recall details of her foggy, anxiety infused nightmares. _Just_ _another_ _nightmare_ , she assured herself. _You're_ _safe_ _at the bunker_. Even so, she pushed up the unbuttoned long sleeves of her flannel and inspected the soft undersides of her wrists, finding no marks. Satisfied, Riley tugged the sleeves back down before her gaze fell on her cell phone on the nightstand.

She frowned, not remembering plugging it in before her nap. She reached for it before poking at the black screen. The battery was fully charged and she unplugged it, letting the thin black cord fall to the bunker floor near her feet. Riley's index finger held down the power button for a few seconds before the screen lit up, powering back on. The memory card loaded before a new text message popped up. She swallowed hard when she saw it was from Sam's cell.

Riley opened the text and froze.

 _We're coming for you, Ry._

The _same_ text from her dream. Her dark eyes suddenly caught sight of today's date and time. It was 10 am the next _morning_.

 _What the actual fuck was going on? Was her phone jacked up or what?_ Deja vu suddenly slammed into her like a shovel to the face. Where _had_ the last twenty or so hours gone? The lump in Riley's throat grew as her thumb dared to scroll upward a bit to the previous text, sent from her phone to Sam's.

 _Dean took me. Holiday Inn Express. Not sure where. 4 hrs from bunker._

That made the bile rise in her throat and Riley dry heaved, her left hand across her mouth.

 _It actually happened?_

Dean kidnapping her from the bunker and everything that happened came back to her in a flood of emotion and she slid down off her bed to the floor on her knees, heaving into the wastepaper basket next to her bed. She was crying softly and her phone clattered to the ground. _My wrists are perfect_ , Riley tried to reason with her anxiety in between her stomach's revolt. She'd done exactly what she promised Dean she wouldn't do again. _But would it even matter?_ She wondered bitterly. _Dean was the darkness that he'd fought so hard not to be and what did her promises to him even mean now?_

Riley gasped when she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder and she sat back against the bed, her bloodshot eyes meeting Sam's concerned face. She frowned at his presence and sympathy flickered across his features before he spoke to her, his voice soothing her. "It's me... you're okay. I got ya." His arms came around her in a gentle hug from where he'd knelt beside her on the floor and she relaxed against his warmth. "Ry, It's okay."

"Sam," She rasped. "I had a nightmare... Dean was back and he took me and-," Riley shut up when she felt his body tense. She pushed back from him and blinked rapidly, watching his expression change from concern to regret. "Sam, you're home from the case?"

"We didn't finish the job."

"What?" Riley's head was spinning and Sam regarded her carefully before he spoke.

"It wasn't a nightmare." His voice was quiet, his words careful.

"What?"

"I have Dean in the dungeon." Hazel met brown again. "I injected him with everything we had... Cas is with him, waiting to see if it worked." Another bout of nausea washed over her and she shivered, feeling her mouth watering, her stomach turning. "He hurt you?" There was some level of shame in his question, as if he somehow felt responsible for his brother taking her. "Ry?"

"Sam?" She sounded lost and the forlorn look on her features paired with the silent tears streaming down her face made his own chest tighten.

"Are you okay?" Sam pulled back a bit to really look at her. When Riley didn't answer, he added. "Castiel healed you..." _That's_ _why her_ _arms_ _were_ _clean_ , Riley realized. "Dean... kinda roughed you up..." He didn't dare ask about the wounds on her wrists; _that_ was a conversation for another time. "Are you alright?"

"Dean's here? In the bunker?" Sam watched her dodge that question, something he swore she'd picked up from his brother. He nodded and she felt her chest tighten. Her breaths were shallow and he recognized the panic in her eyes. "How..."

"Just relax," His voice was soothing and his free hand came up to smooth her wild hair back. "I've got everything under control." Sam paused before letting her go some. "You sure you're alright?"

No straight answer from Riley and she continued, trying to make sense of the things he was saying to her. "You guys were on a case... How did..."

"Dean called me." Sam spoke quietly and Riley blinked rapidly, trying to hold her tears at bay and failing miserably. "He told me he had you and where you two were." Pause. "He came with me and Castiel willingly." Hazel met chocolate. "I still don't understand it, but Dean was concerned about you and whatever darkness that's inside him... was gone for a little while." Something flickered in Riley's eyes and Sam hugged her close again. "Honey, you sure you're alright?"

The brunette nodded, wiping her tears away. "I'm sorry for making you worry." There was his brother coming from her lips again, dodging Sam's concern and apologizing, like everything was somehow his doing.

Sam managed a smile. "This isn't anyone's fault, Riley girl." Her eyes closed when he kissed her temple. "I'm gonna go check on Dean and Castiel."

"I'm so tired." She murmured as he let her go some, still watching her wrap her brain around the things he was confirming.

"You want Cas to stay here while you rest?" She nodded. "I'll let him know."

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"You look worried guys." Sam and Castiel exchanged looks before looking back to Dean. "Was I... possessed?"

"Welcome back, Dean," Sam spoke softly. He and Castiel removed the cuffs and Dean rose. They gave him the cliff notes version until he interrupted the two men. "Where's Ry?" He didn't miss the looks Sam and Castiel exchanged. "What the hell's going on?"

Sam took a deep breath and somewhat patiently told him about Metatron, him dying and being back and the bunker, disappearing without a trace, then breaking into the bunker and kidnapping Riley, taking her to a hotel hours from home.

"Then what?"

Cas shrugged, a rarity for him. Sam continued. "When we found you guys, Riley was out cold." He paused there, hesitant to continue. Dean sensed that and raised an eyebrow slightly. The younger man frowned before he added. "She had bruises on her neck and her other arm. Both her wrists... were patched up." Dean's jawline tightened at his brother's careful words, an unnamed emotion swirling in his eyes.

"Wait, did I... do this to her?" Again, another set of looks were exchanged between Sam and Castiel, who stood a few feet away. "I put my hands on Riley?"

His younger brother closed his eyes painfully. "Dean..."

"What happened? What did I do?" His brow was wrinkled and Sam couldn't bring himself to say what he'd been thinking about since he'd scooped up Riley from the bed in the motel room. There was no doubt in Sam's mind the finger shaped bruises were put there by his brother, the Mark completely taking hold of Dean. Riley's face was tear soaked and pale against his shoulder as he carried her down the stairwell to the impala and the weight of the damn near lifeless young woman in his arms was something Sam never wanted to feel again.

Sam suspected she'd cut herself, but it was Dean who'd done the patch job; Sam had caught a glimpse of blood on the cuff of his flannel and a first aide kit on the nightstand. "What the hell did I do?" Dean burst out, his voice raw with emotion. Castiel stepped forward then and reached out to touch Dean's forehead, allowing him to see Riley's memory of the kidnapping and everything that came before and after it.

Dean's stomach heaved when her overwhelming fear and distrust bled over onto his soul at Castiel's hand and his eyes closed painfully. "Fuck." A fist was pressed against his mouth and he fought the nausea in his stomach, trying to get ahold of his emotions before he completely lost his shit. "Where is she? Is she here? Can I see her?"

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Good morning, beautiful readers!

What do you think? Should I let him see her? Is Riley going to accept Dean with open arms or completely shut him out? How will Sam react when he finds out about what happened in that hotel room? Reviews are love!

CitrineMama


	25. Chapter 25

Riley had gathered whatever strength she had and opened her door. Not hearing a sound, she crept down the bunker hallway to the bathroom. She locked the door with shaking hands and used the toilet before washing her hands under the cool water. She leaned forward over the sink bowl and cupped her left hand, scooping several handfuls of the water up to her lips before cranking the tap off.

The pressure in the air changed suddenly and she turned to see Castiel inside the bathroom with her. "Cas." He didn't even get a chance to speak before her arms were around his neck in a tight hug. He carefully returned the hug and felt her relax a bit against him. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she held in a sob. "Thank you for coming for me." Riley's choked whisper made him nod.

"We were both so glad you were alright." Riley closed her eyes when he released her carefully, his clear blue eyes focused on her expression. She didn't miss how he didn't include Dean in that sentiment. As if reading her mind, Castiel added quietly. "Dean... he's asking about you."

"I just wanna take a shower." Was all the brunette could manage and she moved back from Castiel's personal space. She turned her back on him and moved to the shower and turned on the hot water. "Please stay here, okay?"

"While you shower?" Dean had had _many_ conversations with him about privacy, _especially_ in the bedrooms and bathrooms, and he felt compelled to clarify her seemingly innocent request.

"Just turn around when I change, okay?" The angel frowned before turning around in a complete circle, facing her again. His clueless action made her smile just the tiniest bit. "Look over at the hamper while I undress. Where our dirty clothes are." Realization dawned on his eyes and he did as she asked. Her clothing was tossed near the hamper and he heard her pulling back the shower curtain.

Her shower was quick and she washed her hair and body before she reached out for a towel. Riley dried off most of the way before stepping out, the white towel around her torso. He heard the sink water running and the sounds of her brushing her teeth before she spat and wiped her mouth. "Where are..."

"The dungeon." The blue eyed angel answered before she could ask. "Do you want me to get Sam?"

Riley sighed softly. "No. I'm just gonna go back to my room."

Castiel turned to face her when he heard the heavy door being unlocked. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"Yes." Riley spoke softly and the pair walked down the short distance to her room. She locked her door once inside and looked to Castiel. He took the hint and turned away. He heard the towel drop to the floor before the drawer on her dresser slid open. Riley shuffled around and she got dressed into a pair of thin lounge pants and an old shrunken tshirt of Dean's. "Okay. I'm dressed."

Castiel didn't comment on what she was wearing, although she was sure he'd noticed. Riley sat down on the side of her bed, her eyes moving around her room, still not believing what had happened over the last sixteen or so hours. It was nearing noon, somehow she was sure of that, but to her, it felt like she'd been awake for days. Her body and mind felt strangely exhausted. Never in a million years would Riley get over the fact that emotional exhaustion was worse than physical exhaustion, at least, in her opinion. She felt like she could curl up in her bed and sleep for a week.

Castiel stood there as she curled up on her side and pulled the blanket at the foot of her bed up over herself with a soft, defeated sigh. "Rest, Riley. I won't leave." His quiet assurance was all she needed and she turned her lamp down to the lowest setting before closing her eyes, watched over by the angel.

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Sam was half sitting, half leaning on a stool in the corner of the dungeon while his older brother paced the floor in front of him. "Sam, tell me everything. I mean, everything." His voice was shaking and the young man's throat worked to swallow.

"Dean, the night I brought you home..."

Green flashed to hazel. "The night I died." Dean felt the need to clarify.

Sam nodded. "The night you died, I brought you home. I put you on your bed and went down to the bathroom where we'd left Ry." Dean's eyes closed for a second; it had been his idea to cuff Riley to the sink. She couldn't follow them, but she'd be safe in the bunker. She could use the toilet but still have access to the sink to sate her thirst. "She slapped me silly when I got down there to let her go."

"Then what?"

Sam's jaw worked a bit before he answered. "I showered and came back out to find Riley." His eyes moved from Dean's. "She was in your room, in your _bed_ , curled up next to your dead body." That statement nearly sent Dean to his knees as he pictured that. Tears stung his eyes and he started pacing again. "I had to pull her away from you and lock your door while I tried to figure out what to do." Emotion was heavy in his voice.

"Sam, stop." He immediately regretted wanting to know the details. There was barely controlled anguish in Dean's whisper, threatening to overtake him.

But Sam didn't stop. "She refused to eat, didn't sleep and when she eventually did, she'd wake up _screaming_ for you. That lost tone in her voice killed me." Sam realized how his voice was rising with each word he spoke. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly before he continued in a softer tone. "I kept putting vanilla protein powder in her coffee. That's all I could get in her." Sam paused there a moment, the image of Riley clinging to his brother's body still very fresh in his mind. "Dean, I honestly had no idea just how close the two of you had gotten since we met her in June at Bobby's."

Dean stopped pacing by the chair he'd just been bound to, his left hand reaching out to the back of the chair to steady himself. "Sam, this will never be okay between us." He shook his head bitterly.

"You don't know that." He could see his older brother reliving what Cas had shown him from Riley's point of view.

A fat tear slipped down Dean's cheek and he didn't bother to stop it. "Riley trusted me, Sam." An ashamed gaze dropped from Sam's to the wooden chair he was standing next to, his white knuckled grip tight of the back of the chair. "She was so amazing to me." Dean murmured. "I was a walking fucking _disaster_ with the Mark on my arm and she just... stayed. Riley could just look at me and know what I need and I honestly don't know if I would've made it that far without her."

Sam just nodded, in a state of shock because his brother didn't do feelings. _Ever_. He hoped Dean would continue.

"Ry was there for me in my darkest times," Sam's brow quirked, slightly put off by that comment because, hey, he'd been there too. "Not that you weren't, brother, but at night, she'd lay with me and..." Dean closed his eyes as another memory washed over him. "She'd just lay with me and run her fingers through my hair and listen to me. Ry never judged my story, even though she walked in on one hell of a chapter. Or an impossible ending, _whatever_."

The younger man watched his brother fall apart in front of him and he had no idea what to say. "Riley... hurt herself in the hotel room?" Curiosity had gotten the best of Sam and the words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself. The murderous look that instantly darkened Dean's features was enough to make him hold his hands up a bit, his palms towards Dean defensively. "Easy... I just had to ask."

Dean wiped a calloused hand over his three day stubble, his eyes wet with tears. "When the Mark _really_ took hold of me and we were arguing about what to do with me all the time?" He swallowed the lump in his throat. "We came home from that one hunt in Omaha and all's me and you did was fight about everything and nothing?" Sam nodded, remembering that night well. "I went down to use the bathroom and shower and walked in on Riley. She was down there with one of my razors..." The sentence trailed off and Dean's gaze moved to his hand, still gripping the chair. The air was thick with emotion and several tense seconds ticked by as Sam felt his own chest tighten at Dean's admission.

"What?" His question was hushed.

Dean shot him a glare. "So when you gave me _shit_ about taking her out for ice cream, _that's_ when we had a heart to heart." Sam closed his eyes. "I told her to come to me if she ever felt like that again... Anxiety is an awful thing." Pause. "That's why we spent so many nights together... because I made Ry promise me if she felt that hopeless, she'd come to me and let _me_ take care of _her_."

A fat tear snuck down Sam's cheek at the thought of his gruff older brother bringing comfort to the young woman Bobby had carefully hidden away from all the evil that was in the world. Riley Elkins, who always wore a shy smile even though inside, she was breaking. "I'm so sorry, brother... I didn't know."

"She made me promise not to tell ya." Dean admitted quietly. "She's been clean... ever since we talked."

"God, how didn't I see that?" Sam's voice was broken.

"She hid it well." He wiped a hand over his face, smoothing his tears away before he continued. "I knew all this and I intimidated her and put my hands on her anyway." Dean finally sank onto the chair he'd been bound to earlier. "Sam, does she even... wanna see me?"

Sam couldn't hide the myriad of emotions he was feeling. "I don't think so." The older man closed his eyes for a few seconds, his jaw working. "Dean, Riley needs some space. Just give her that. She knows deep down, it wasn't really you." Dean's green eyes darkened even more and he shook his head before he spoke again.

"Sam, I _threatened_ her. I told Riley to tell me where you and Castiel were..." Dean got choked up, almost able to continue. "When she wouldn't, I told her I'd use other methods to force her into talking to me..." Sam's jawline was tight now, the tables turned, him wanting Dean to stop talking. "I was pulling her into the hotel bedroom and she was begging me to stop..." Dean couldn't even look his little brother in the eye when he admitted that. "I didn't... in case you're wondering." His tone was darker now and Sam visibly relaxed. "I don't deserve her forgiveness."

"Let her decide that."

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Good evening, lovely readers!

Not sure if the boys ever actually shared a cry, but this is how I'd imagine it would go if they did. (Not some sobfest, of course.) I'm glad they aren't the only ones with and angel watching over them. :)

 **ButterflyAlley** , **EmilyAnnMcGarrett** - **Winchester** and **SaphyraBlu13** \- thank you for your reviews on the last chapter!

Have a great night!

CitrineMama


	26. Chapter 26

Castiel looked up from where he sat in the small wooden chair in the corner of Riley's bedroom. His hand raised towards the door and the locked clicked and the door opened quietly as he sensed the younger Winchester's presence. Sam stood there, his hand in a raised fist, poised to knock. "Cas." For some reason, he almost felt surprised that Castiel had known he was there.

"You wish to speak to Riley. About Dean?" His quiet voice made Sam give a single nod. "I will be right outside." He crossed the room silently, the door closing softly behind him.

Sam sat down carefully on the side of Riley's bed and spoke softly. "Ry?" She startled awake with a whimper and her wide eyes met Sam's before she sat up, gasping for breath. His strong arms came around her shoulders and she trembled against him, her heart thudding wildly in her chest. Sam held her while her breathing slowed and he felt the gentle tug on his flannel as she wiped her eyes on the soft cotton. "You okay?" His question was rhetorical, but the brunette answered him anyway.

"Sam, I am so far from okay."

Sam frowned. "Dean... He wants to talk to you." He felt Riley push him away from her and untangle her legs from the warm blanket she was cocooned in, moving to dangle them off the side of her bed. She sat there for a moment while the dizziness faded some before she rose on shaky legs and turned to glare at Sam.

"No. I'm leaving." The finality in Riley's tone deflated Sam's hopes some and he knew deep down that if he lost Riley, he'd lose his brother too.

"Not tonight." It wasn't an option.

Riley threw up her hands, exasperated. "What? Am I a fucking _prisoner_ here? _Again_?" Her eyes had darkened some and she watched the man sitting at the side of her bed work through whatever was going on behind his hazel eyes. A pregnant pause followed and Riley didn't regret what she'd just said; it was how she felt and this time, she was going to trust her gut.

Run, run like hell and never look back. Everyone just ended up getting yanked out of her life anyways, so why in the hell would she have thought this arrangement would have been any different?

Sam's eyes closed for a few seconds. "This is your _home_ , Riley."

"I won't stay here if he's here, Sam."

"Look," He paused before he spoke the words he couldn't take back. "I know what happened at the hotel." Riley flushed with anger and embarrassment, her eyes moving to the floor. "I can't even imagine how betrayed you feel." Pause. "But Cas showed Dean... what happened..." That made her eyes close as she imagined the angel touching his forehead, showing Dean the awful events from the night before. "He wants to talk to you."

"No." She shook her head adamantly. "I can't. _I won't_. I don't wanna be anywhere _near_ him." That made Sam frown. "I don't wanna talk to him. I don't wanna be alone with him." Riley sounded scared and angry. " _No_ , Sam." Her angry outburst and prisoner reference were quickly sidelined by her blatant fear and distrust of his brother right now and Sam didn't want to push her much further.

"You know that wasn't Dean..." The hurt in her eyes made Sam sigh defeatedly. "Will you let him talk to you if I stay? Or Cas?" Sam sighed softly when a fresh set of tears spilled down her cheeks. "Ry, please. Just give him a few minutes." He could tell she was very close to giving in to his request. Riley sank onto the edge of her bed next to Sam.

"I'm so tired." There was Dean's excuse, coming from her lips.

His heavy arm came around her shoulders, hugging her close to him. "I know, honey."

"Not today. I just wanna sleep... for like three days."

"Will you talk to him though? In a few days?" Riley didn't answer. "Will you at least _think_ about talking to Dean?"

"I don't even wanna hear his _name_ right now." Her voice broke and she closed her eyes when she felt Sam press a kiss to her temple. "Castiel still here?"

"I'm here." His monotone voice was on the other side of her bedroom door. Sam felt her relax. She nodded.

"You want something to eat?" His hopeful tone made her smile the tiniest bit.

"Maybe some toast."

"You got it. I'll be back in a few minutes." Sam got up and left her bedroom, Castiel breezing back inside, taking a seat on his post. Sam returned a moment later, two slices of buttered toast on a ceramic plate in one hand and a glass of orange juice in the other. She accepted both and set the beverage on her nightstand. "If you need anything, let me know." Sam nodded to Castiel, silently thanking him before exiting Riley's bedroom.

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Sam walked back down to the dungeon where Dean was. He'd refused to leave the room after he'd been cured. "Dean?"

The older man was pacing the floor, his bootfalls echoing in the room. He stopped when he saw some semblance of regret on the younger Winchester's face. "Is she okay?"His voice was softer now, concern evident and he held his breath, waiting for Sam to confirm.

"She's pretty upset."

"She doesn't wanna see me." His reply was flat and disappointed. Sam didn't say anything and Dean nodded. "I don't blame her, y'know? I fucked up bad. And me being sorry won't change what I did. I crossed a line and I'm not sure I can step back over it this time." Dean struggled to keep the flood of emotions tucked inside his chest. "The darkest parts of me... the ones I _struggle_ to keep inside me... she experienced that firsthand and I wasn't strong enough to keep that ugliness from taking over. This Mark on my arm... it has to go. If I die again, this is gonna happen again. How many times are we gonna let me go dark side and hurt anyone I've ever loved?"

"Dean, I get it. If anyone gets that, it's me."

"But we cured me. So what? This Mark is gonna be my undoing. Me hurting Riley was..." He just shook his head, bitterness lacing his tone. "Me hurting her _really_ tops the fucking list of horrible, unforgivable things I've done." Dean's words hung heavy in the air.

Sam was standing there, unsure of what to say to his brother. He decided to go with honesty, because hell, they had no more secrets now. Everything good or bad was out in the open. "She told me she wanted to leave." His left hand ran through his hair absently, his other hand on his hip, waiting for the explosion he knew was coming.

That made Dean chuckle bitterly. "Again, hm? Because of me. Riley wanted to leave the first damn time because she was scared of me and y'know what, Sam? We did her a fuckin' disservice by talking her outta that and insisting she stay here." He shook his head and plowed on before Sam could get a word in. "She started locking her door at night because she was afraid of the Mark and all the evil it could bring with it. Afraid of _me_. She _told_ me that, Sam." He stopped pacing for a few seconds, his anger ticking up a few more notches. "Still, I was too fuckin' self centered to just let her walk away and have some normal life like Bobby fought so hard for her to have. The lives she _deserves_." Dean stopped, his jaw working hard for a few seconds. Sam just waited for him to continue, knowing not to interrupt him now. " _I_ was the one who insisted she stay. _I_ was the selfish bastard who needed her and _I'm_ the one who fuckin' ruined _everything_."

Sam winced when Dean's anger boiled over and he slung the wooden chair away from the center of the room and towards the concrete bunker wall. It broke into several pieces that scattered like the pieces of his brother's shattered self worth. "Dean, I don't know what to say."

"There's nothing _to_ say."

"She's resting now. Castiel is sitting with her."

Dean smirked. "He's sitting with her so I don't hurt her, you mean."

Sam glared at his brother. "She felt safe with Cas. She didn't ask _me_ to sit there, Dean. She asked _him_."

"I don't even wanna walk out there."

"You can't just spend the rest of your life in here."

"Well, Riley don't wanna see my face and I don't wanna upset her anymore than she already is." Dean folded his arms over his chest.

Sam rolled his eyes flippantly, done with his brother's self-hatred. "So she's gonna lock herself in her bedroom and you're gonna lock yourself in here. Fucking _fantastic_." He was pissed off now. "Dean, come out and get a shower and just go to your room. Let me handle Riley." Dean's shoulders relaxed slightly. "Alright? Just please... I need all of us to hold it together here. This hasn't been easy for me either, you know." Sam paused before adding. "I watched _both_ of you fall apart in a matter of a few months. I won't allow it to continue." To his shock, Dean obliged and walked out of the dungeon and Sam followed, turning off the lights and closing the bookshelves.

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Dean headed for the shower after grabbing some clean clothes, turning the water as hot as it would get and he stood in there for a long time, watching the water swirl around the drain by his feet. He briefly wondered how much scalding water and soap it would take to clean the proverbial blood off his hands and the consuming guilt off his soul. _Probably_ _the whole_ _fresh water_ _supply_ _on_ _earth_ , he supposed. Dean put a shaky hand on the cold tiles to his right and his emerald eyes followed the movement.

Riley was just next door in her room and his heart ached for her; Dean wanted so badly to just knock on her door and take her hand, tug on her fingers gently and lead her to his room where they could cuddle in his bed and fall asleep together. But no, he'd fucked _that_ up beyond repair and he had no one to blame but himself. He'd taken on the Mark to conceal the darkness once and for all and this... _this_ was the 'hell of a cost' Cain had warned him about.

 _Sometimes you have to do a little bad, to do a hell of a lot of good,_ Bobby's voice rang out in his mind _._

Dean closed his eyes. God, Bobby would have his ass dead and buried in the salvage yard if he knew what he'd put Sam and Riley through during the last four months. He'd never finished reading his letter and suddenly, he longed for Bobby's words of wisdom right then. How could Dean make things right after everything had gone so far sideways?

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Hey y'all!

Are things truly beyond repair? Will Riley eventually grant Dean forgiveness and more importantly, will he forgive himself?

So I'm going to try and update on Thursdays, _y'know_ , to help us through the Supernatural _drought_ we're forced to endure until this fall. What do you guys think about that?

Thank you to **jennhopp12** , **SaphyraBlu13** , **ButterflyAlley** and **Brie** (signed guest) for your reviews! Shoutout to each of you who recently added this story to their alerts and favorites! Your feedback means so much to me. Have a great day!

CitrineMama


	27. Chapter 27

Dean clicked on his light after opening his bedroom door. The air in there wasn't as stagnant as he'd thought it might be after four months away and his eyes fell to the bed. His brow wrinkled slightly as his gaze raked over the unmade bed and the obvious creases on his pillowcases. "She slept in here every night." Sam's voice behind him made him startle.

"Don't _do_ that." His heart was pounding in his chest now. "Why?" Dean turned to his taller sibling, frown lines prominent on his brow.

Sam dared a small smile, his hazel eyes sparkling just a little with unshed tears. "Because Dean... it was as close to you as she could get." His studious gaze took in the confusion that seeped onto Dean's features before Sam nodded, even though the older man hadn't responded to that. None of them had had a wink of sleep and Sam moved back to retreat to his own room, despite the midday hour. "Night, brother."

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Not one of them had slept the night before and to say ' _goodnight_ ' at any random hour of the day never felt strange to either man, because ' _goodnight_ ' always followed a long drive or a tough hunt and signaled a stopping point to rest and regroup, both physically and emotionally. After getting his brother back home and Riley as well, Sam never saw it so perfectly fitting until now.

He stripped down to his boxers in his own room and flopped onto his bed. He felt strangely settled, with Castiel there watching over them and Dean and Riley down the hall. He'd done out what he'd set to do. Bring _everyone_ home safe.

But it was a much different homecoming than he'd ever expected. Sam thought bringing Dean home and curing him would have been the uphill battle, which it was, don't get him wrong. But it was the way that Dean blamed himself, the way he admitted what he'd done when his soul wasn't intact to care. And _no_ , while Dean hadn't _acted_ on those impulses, he'd laced the underlying threat before the brunette down the hall with torture and rape, two things he would _never_ do.

Sam yanked up the covers over himself, his heart felt heavy as his thoughts moved to the brunette, feeling overwhelming guilt at not knowing what she had been struggling with prior to this shit show. It was the way Riley longed for his brother for four long months and now that he was home, she couldn't even bear to hear or speak his name.

That made Sam's breathing quicken. He couldn't let himself dwell on the what ifs. Facts were facts and Dean hadn't followed through on his threats and Sam had to focus on that. _Remember_ _that_. Otherwise, he'd have probably killed Dean himself for the emotional torture alone he'd inflicted on the brunette.

"Damnit Dean." He murmured as he closed his eyes, feeling sleep tugging at him now incessantly. Sam's body jerked once and his heart rate slowed before he slipped into a somewhat peaceful slumber.

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Nearly three hours of blissful unawareness passed before Riley awoke with a full bladder and an empty stomach. It growled at her and she slid a cautious hand over it, afraid it may change its mind and revolt against her if she tried to eat. Castiel was still sitting at his post in her chair. "Are you aright? You seemed to sleep well." He sensed the second she awoke and watched her carefully, not wanting to startle her.

"I'm just gonna go pee and I'll be back." Her voice still sounded raw to her and her throat ached for some hot tea. "Thanks Castiel." He gave a single nod and she knew he'd be right there waiting there for her. Riley cautiously unlocked her door, the mechanism sounding a like a gunshot on a quiet night. She winced, not wanting to disturb Sam while was was undoubtedly resting.

Or at least, she'd hoped he was.

It had been a long yesterday and an even longer overnight and she knew none of them had probably gotten anything _close_ to what could be considered rest. _Lucky_ _Castiel_ , Riley mused. He didn't require sleep, but she liked naps; it was a little break from the turmoil that churned inside her mind and her heart and she always sort of welcomed unconsciousness. She liked to dream and now, almost eight months after walking into Bobby's empty house and meeting the Winchester boys, she had almost forgotten what dreaming was like.

Riley used the toilet and flushed and washed her hands, glancing up only briefly into the mirror at her reflection. She looked exhausted and war worn and almost didn't recognize the woman staring back at her. Her hair was wavy and damp from the recent shower and she pulled open the drawer for a ponytail holder. Riley twisted her hair into a messy bun before clicking off the light and leaving the bathroom. She crept down the hall quietly and headed for the kitchen.

Riley was starving for the first time in a long time and she knew there would be something around to take back to her room. She stepped down into the bunker kitchen and crossed the cool floor with her bare feet silently. She shuffled around in the cabinet, searching for something that would be considered nutritionally dense until she felt every hair on the back of her neck stand up at his almost overwhelming presence.

 _Dean_.

The brunette looked over her shoulder and dropped the granola breakfast bar that was in her hand. Dean was standing there in the kitchen doorway, looking equal parts surprised and exhausted in his pajama pants and gray tshirt. "Ry?" His sweet, quiet voice he used to use when they were alone was back and instead of comforting her, that just made panic rip through her chest.

Was this some sort of a sick game to trick her into feeling safe?

He took one careful step down into the kitchen and she whimpered, halting his retreat. "Sam?" Her voice was shrill as it rose and they both heard the creak and groan of Sam's mattress. The expression on the man's face was unreadable and he held up his hands slowly, palms towards her, as if to assure her he was no threat to her. "Sam?" The second time his brother's name escaped her lips, Dean's heart broke.

His brother appeared seconds later, taking in the sight before him. Dean was frozen in the kitchen doorway, unaware that Riley felt trapped by the way his body blocked her only way out. The brunette was standing near the kitchen sink, her back against the counter top and her hands out in front of her, as if to ward off his brother. Dean met his brother's gaze when he slipped by him in the doorway. "Hey," Sam moved to Riley and spoke reassuringly to her. "I'm here. It's okay."

Dean heard her hiccup and saw Sam cup her cheek affectionately. "It's okay. Just Dean." A sob soft escaped then, her hand over her mouth, his brother's shoulders almost hiding Riley from Dean's view. "Honey, just take a couple deep breaths for me." Pause. "Atta girl. He's just getting some coffee," Sam turned to his brother, his eyes flashing to Dean's in a silent warning. "Let me get you a cup too, hm?"

Riley gave a quick nod, not daring to meet Dean's imploring eyes. He saw her fingers curled around the bottom of Sam's tshirt, gripping tightly as if he was her lifeline. She clung to his side as he made them a pot of coffee. Dean stayed by the doorway for a moment before daring to step down to the kitchen table. He slid onto one of the stools and looked down at his hands, feeling sorrow settling into his bones at Riley's blatant fear of him.

Sam was speaking to her softly now, the sputtering coffee pot drowning out most of his words. Dean dared a glance in her direction and she wasn't looking at him. Her teeth worried her bottom lip and she nodded at something Sam said. He patted her arm and she stepped aside so he could pull out the toaster and pick up the granola bar she'd dropped. Sam plugged in the appliance and dropped two slices of bread inside.

Dean couldn't help but to stare at Riley; her hair was a lot longer that he'd remembered it four months ago. _Probably hasn't had it cut since I gave her a trim in the_ _hotel_ _room after_ _that vengeful_ _spirit_ _hunt_ , he thought sadly. Her pajama pants hung a little lower on her hips and he'd suddenly noticed how much weight she'd lost. Before, there was a nice curve to her lower half and she had this bit of softness around her middle. He dared not to let himself remember what it had been like to snuggle his body up next to her much softer one.

 _She was wearing one of his tshirts._

The toast popped up then and Riley startled a bit, Sam smiling down at her. He said something and she just shook her head. He frowned and she sighed, giving into whatever he'd requested of her. He moved away from her to open the fridge, leaving her completely in view of Dean now. It was obvious that Riley was avoiding Dean's eyes and he brought his elbows up on the table, his right fist moving to his mouth. Dean ran the knuckle of his index finger over his lips in a self soothing sort of way, something he'd always done without thinking.

Sam looked back at him and he barely noticed, focusing his eyes on the table top as he rubbed his lip. He could almost feel his brother frowning and he sighed. "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll be in my room."

"Just..." The younger man exhaled through his nose, closing his eyes for a couple seconds. "The coffee's ready." The sound of the cabinet opening and closing stopped Dean and a few seconds later, a steaming mug was placed in front of him. Dean looked up at Sam and the younger man forced a small smile. The air in the kitchen was so thick with emotion, Dean could barely stand it.

"I was wondering where you went." Castiel popped in then, surprised to see the trio all in one room. "Riley?"

"Cas, why don't you take a little break?" Sam spoke softly and the angel nodded in agreement before he vanished. Hazel moved to green before Sam looked at Riley, who was still standing on the other side of the kitchen. "Guys... I know this is bad, but can we at least talk?" Riley's deep sigh made him briefly wonder if Castiel had heard it.

"No." She managed before she crossed the kitchen and walked out, feeling her anxiety taking up residence in her chest. The two men shared a concerned look before they followed her. Her door slammed closed down the hall, echoing in the bunker. Dean stopped about ten feet from her doorway, his own insecurities being exaggerated by the Mark still on his arm. He saw Sam's hand move to the doorknob and he leaned his forehead against the door. His eyes closed when the sounds of her soft sobs reached both their ears.

"Riley? Can I come in?" There was no answer and he turned the knob slowly, pushing open her door. She was sitting there on the edge of her bed, her eyes closed. "Listen, you and Dean need to talk, here." Panic was making her chest feel tight and it was already nearing the point where she felt like she was going to burst. She didn't protest, so Sam looked to Dean and her eyes opened when she heard his slow, careful footsteps approach her bedroom door. Dean looked to Sam and the younger man nodded before he stepped inside her bedroom.

"Riley?" His soft, sweet voice he always used when they were alone was something she'd never thought she'd experience again. Riley's left knee started bouncing up and down nervously and Dean looked to Sam. Sam only crossed his arms over his chest and leaned a shoulder against the doorway, quietly stating to Dean that he wasn't going to leave Riley's room. "Cas showed me what happened during the time... I took you."

Riley's eyes opened and she dared not meet his gaze. Dean nodded silently, trying to organize his jumbled thoughts and emotions. "I can't even begin to imagine how..." His voice dropped and he sank to his knees in front of the brunette, his hands on the bed on either side of her hips. Sam watched the scene before him with some level of shock. "I am so sorry, Ry." Her dark brown eyes dared a look at the emerald orbs trained on her face. Her breathing was getting more labored and erratic and Sam spoke up.

"Dean?"

"Riley?" The brunette felt her chest tighten, trying to take deep breaths. She was trembling so badly her teeth were practically chattering now. Sam felt panic in his own chest.

"Sam, get her medicine in the cabinet in the bathroom." Dean shifted his weight on his knees in front of her. "She's having a panic attack." His warm hands found her cold, clammy ones. "Riley Ann, look at me sweetheart." Her tear filled eyes finally met his green orbs again. "Slow down. Deep breaths for me." She tried to do as he asked. Sam came back in then with a few pill bottles with her name and Dean quickly picked out what she needed. "Under your tongue, sweetheart," His gentle tone was ever present. Her lips parted and his calloused fingers placed the pill under her tongue where it would melt fast and absorb even faster. "Look at me." Dean spoke again and she nodded, her eyes wide. "Easy now." His calloused thumbs were smoothing over her knuckles as he held her hands, Sam's eyes on them. Dean leaned forward and brushed a kiss to her forehead. He _hated_ that she was feeling like this and he felt helpless and guilty.

This was all his fault. All of it.

The brunette's eyes closed at the contact. This incredibly tender, private moment made Sam's heart soften some. He shifted uncomfortably, feeling almost guilty experiencing the scene in front of him, but he'd silently promised Riley he would stay when Dean spoke with her. _Should've_ _been_ _just_ _been_ _between_ _Dean and Riley_ , he thought sadly.

His hazel eyes studied the pair in front of him, knowing that this wasn't Dean's first go around with Riley with a panic attack; he'd recognized the signs and given her medicine right away, staying with her, grounding her when she needed it most. Riley closed her eyes, trying not to let the panic that was building inside take over her. Sam stayed where he was by the door and let Dean take care of the brunette. She had been in shock when Sam had gotten to the hotel, over the blood loss and the assault.

Dean was still kneeling in front of her, her hands holding his, her eyes closed. His thumbs were smoothing over her knuckles soothingly. "That's my girl. Just slow, deep breaths." He breathed, Sam fading from his thoughts and into the background. Sam saw Dean let go of her hand and reach out to Riley. He smoothed her wavy brown hair back from the left side of her face and she visibly flinched at the contact. "It's okay."

"I can't." She whispered.

"I'm right here." He took her hand again and she relaxed. "I am so sorry Ry," Dean whispered. "I thought the worst thing that ever happened to me was getting this damn mark." That made her eyes open again as her breathing slowed. "Me hurting you... was so much worse." Her brown eyes met his again as he continued. "I know... I don't deserve it, but I promise you," He was still on his knees in front of the terrified brunette. "I will spend the rest of my life earning your forgiveness and your trust."

A fresh batch of silent tears spilled from her dark eyes and he could feel her trembling. Her hands were gripping his still and he sighed. "Look, I'm gonna go for now. Sammy's here. I'll be in my room if you... need me." Dean let go of her hands and rose to his feet before walking out of the room, leaving Riley with Sam.

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Hello beautiful readers!

Happy Thursday! Shout outs to **ButterflyAlley** , **EmilyAnnMcGarrett-Winchester** , **SaphyraBlu13** and **jennhopp12** for leaving reviews on 26! Y'all rock!

You didn't think Riley was just gonna greet Dean with open arms, did ya?

Reviews are my motivation!

CitrineMama


	28. Chapter 28

"I need you to tell me what to do here." Dean was on his knees at his bedside, his muscled shoulders slumped defeatedly and his forearms on his comforter. "Bobby, I fucked things up so bad. We were supposed to take care of her. She trusted us and I let her down."

There was only silence that greeted him. He felt another hot, angry tear roll down his face. "I am so sorry Bobby. Please... _please_ tell me how to make this okay." There was still no reply, not that he really expected one. Dean reached out to his right and pulled open his nightstand drawer.

He unfolded his letter and began right where he'd left off nearly four months ago.

 _You boys have always made me so proud. There's nothin' that could ever make me feel otherwise. We all make mistakes and if somethin' can't be fixed with a bottle of blue and a long talk, well son, then you have yourself a real problem. Don't beat yourself up over the crap this life hands you. You will always have that brother of yours, Castiel and me. And Riley. She's as loyal as they come. Remember that when times are real bad. When life hands you lemons, don't make some sissy lemonade... make a whiskey sour._

Dean smirked a bit, folding the letter in half and wiping his eyes with the heel of his hand. "It's like you knew something like this would happen, Bobby."

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Riley closed her bedroom door behind Sam and sighed against it. It was nearing 6pm, but she was so disoriented with the erratic sleeping schedule she'd kept for the last four months. And after Dean kidnapped her from the bunker, well _that_ certainly hadn't done her any favors.

She sighed softly. Dean was cured now, but Riley couldn't quite bring herself to even look him in the eyes. She was terrified of seeing her favorite shade of green disappear into that endless darkness again.

 _Dean_.

God, his voice sounded so heartbroken when he'd spoken to her during her panic attack. Just like he _always_ had. She felt angry and embarrassed that Sam had also witnessed her lose control like that. Not that he would ever judge her for it, she knew that much. It was just like admitting defeat or something, like Riley couldn't even handle shit life threw at her without self harming or panicking.

Riley always felt guilty when she admitted to what she considered to be emotional shortcomings to anyone. Like she was dumping her emotional instability on someone else if she dared to open up and share. She'd had a boyfriend briefly during the first year of college back in Decorah, Iowa. Riley had admitted to him she had anxiety and he'd just rolled his eyes and responded in that presumptive way most people did.

 _Just get over it. Shit happens... don't you think other people have it worse than you? Don't be such a drama queen._

And that was it for her. Riley deleted his number and refused his calls, avoiding any spots on campus where she'd potentially run into Ryan and that was it. She swore to never ever tell anyone about that part of her again.

But then there was Dean; he just seemed to drag her real feelings out of her without even trying. He always listened without stopping her and just let her cry. He actually _wanted_ to be there for her, as long as she would allow him to be.

The brunette crawled into her bed and sighed tearfully. Oh, how she wanted to just walk down the hall to Dean's bedroom and crawl into his warm bed and into his arms. Just tell him to shut up and roll with it, that she didn't want to talk about what happened during the last twenty four hours or even the last four months without him.

She rolled over on her left side and her gaze moved down to the nightstand at her bedside. The items for the spell she'd researched were still in there and for the first time in a long time, she felt a small glimmer of hope.

Maybe there was still a chance to make this okay.

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Dean was laying on his stomach, facing his headboard. He swore he could smell her scent on his pillow, something vanilla, he thought. He suddenly noticed a lamp on his dresser, one that had never been there before. His old brass one had been removed and he frowned. It was cylindrical and almost looked like an off white candle with a hammered copper base. Dean saw a square of paper underneath and tilted it to the side to retrieve it.

 _Friendship lamp- This lamp has been synced to its twin and when you touch it, its twin will glow, no matter how far apart you and your friend may be._

Dean's brow wrinkled and he flipped the white paper over to find something scrawled in black pen.

 _This was supposed to be for your birthday. Hope you will enjoy it someday. Love, Ry_

There was a heart scrawled at the bottom in black pen underneath her handwriting. He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the sting of tears. Riley had held onto a shred of hope that Sam would be able to save him. Dean gathered himself emotionally before exhaling and focusing his gaze on the lamp. He touched the metal part and the lamp turned on, emitting a soft glow.

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Down the hallway, Riley was still staring at the bottom drawer in her nightstand when her friendship lamp suddenly turned on. _Had Dean found her note?_ With a shaking hand, she reached out and tapped it back off. Riley held her breath and her index finger tapped the edge again, turning it on.

The lamp turned back off for a few seconds before it clicked on again. Riley watched as a rhythm was tapped out on the lamp. She stared, unblinking, until the lamp went out again. "Dean?" Her whisper was soft and the rhythm started again. She started to cry softly and every fiber in her being screamed at her to run down the hall to his room. Her silent tears turned into a snicker as she finally recognized the beat that was flashing her lamp on and off.

Riley found herself outside of Dean's bedroom door without even realizing how she was actually got there. Before she lost her nerve, her hand reached out to turn the knob. There was no reply from inside and she dared a peek in. Dean was sitting on the side of his bed and his shocked gaze raised to hers. Riley averted her eyes and crossed the room silently to sit on the other side of his bed, their backs to one another. "I don't know why I came in here." Her voice was shaking. She felt him shift behind her and he sighed.

"I'm glad you did."

Riley took a deep breath. "I can't even look you in the eye right now... I'm so afraid of seeing..." He winced.

"You must hate me." Dean whispered, his back to her.

Riley felt the sting of tears. "I could never hate you."

He shook his head, even though she couldn't see him. "I would, if I were you."

"Well you're not me."

"I hated seeing that sadistic bastard making your eyes go black." Riley whispered. "It was like he knew that would kill me." Pause. "All's I wanted to see was my favorite shade of green." Dean's eyes closed painfully. "And I just kept thinking about that last night when you came in my room. I just kept... holding onto that."

That tore at Dean's heartstrings. "Why did you lock your door that night?"

"Don't do this." She suddenly remembered him asking that very same question a few short months ago.

"Tell me."

Riley swallowed hard behind him. "I was scared."

His eyes were still closed and his tone was flat. "Of me."

"Of the _evil_ that damn mark had the potential to _cause_." She turned a bit, still not quite looking at the hard lines of the undoubtedly tense muscles in his back. "I meant what I told you that night." His mind raced, trying to remember their late night emotional conversation four months prior. "Dean, I trusted you."

"But not anymore." Dean's disappointment was a crushing weight on his chest.

Riley turned even more, her eyes suddenly _starving_ to have him in her view again. "I still trust you." Her reply was soft.

Dean turned around and she had shifted a bit more. "Ry, I kept you at an arm's length because I didn't want you to get hurt." He swallowed the lump in his throat. "I care about you, Riley, and no damn mark on my arm will ever change that." Dean heard her breath catch and he shifted on his bed to look at her face. Her arms were around herself and she looked terrified. "I just want things..."

"To go back to the way they were?" Riley supplied softly and he smiled the tiniest bit. Dean didn't answer her and she waited for his reply. When it didn't come, her brown eyes met his clear green ones for the first time. He drank in the sight of her, one of the only people on this earth outside of his brother and Bobby, who _never_ lost faith in him, even when he'd come up empty.

"Guess that ship's sailed, hm?" A small wave of defeat swept over Dean and he smiled sadly.

Riley's eyes moved from his to the bedspread and she relaxed a bit, her hands moving to her lap. "It's never to late to fix things, Dean." She felt him exhale. "You found your lamp?"

"I love it so much." Dean admitted softly and that made her smile a little.

"Smoke on the water?"

"I knew you'd recognize that." They were quiet again. "Riley, I'm so sorry-,"

"You already said that." Pause. "I forgive you, Dean."

His thumb was absently rubbing the mark on his forearm. "I gotta get this damn thing off my arm..."

"I know..." Her tone was wistful and their eyes met again. Riley moved to stand in front of where he was sitting and wrapped her arms around his neck. Dean hugged her torso to him, pulling her in to stand between his knees. "We'll figure it out." Her whisper fell on his ears and he nodded, breathing her in as deeply as he could.

 _He was finally home._

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A/N:

Forgiveness is something I struggle with in my own life, especially towards my own family. It's almost foreign to me to even _write_ about it.

 **Starlily16,** unsigned **Guest, SaphyraBlu13** and **EmilyAnnMcGarrett** - **Winchester** \- Thank you all so much for your reviews on Chapter 27! You make my day when I read those. You motivate me to keep writing and creating.

Thanks to all who added me to their follows and favs!

CitrineMama

P.S. Don't worry guys... this ain't over yet... *rubs hands together with an evil glint in my eyes*


	29. Chapter 29

The next two weeks were devastatingly normal. Dean was back and Riley slept in his room every night, soaking in his presence. Sam knew this, of course, because he'd passed by her room every night on the way to his and her bedroom door was open and her bed empty and made.

During the day, they looked for hunts and passed along the potential ones onto Garth and he assigned them away. Movies were watched and the old journals from the Men of Letters were paged through and read, the old record player playing in the background. At night, Riley made all Dean's favorites for dinner; spaghetti and her homemade meatballs, meatloaf, barbecue pork and slaw, steaks and baked potatoes, chicken and mushroom gravy and shrimp scampi. It felt good for the three of them to relax into an ordinary, comfortable routine.

Sam had teased Riley that she was spoiling his brother and she'd just giggled and shrugged. "I don't care. I'm so glad he's home." She'd even baked him one of her pies like Bobby had told her in his letter to do. Dean had eaten the whole damn thing right out of the pan over the course of three days, never sharing a single bite with Sam. His brother hadn't minded, of course, but teased him about it anyways.

It made Sam shake his head as he watched his brother sat at the war room table that morning. His fork was scraping against the ceramic pie dish as he finished the blueberry dessert, his jade eyes focused on the laptop screen in front of him. It was routine for him to shovel in some form of junk food while they researched and Riley sat there across from Dean, a smile playing over her features as she watched him. Normal was something none of them could ever get enough of.

In fact, it was a little _too_ normal for Sam's taste. Riley and Dean were back to their old selves and maybe it was the overprotective part of him, but something nagged at Sam, making him question their happiness. Maybe it was the nature of the beast, but he tried to brush off that feeling. Dean put the fork in the pan and pushed it back from him a few inches and Sam reached across the table. Riley watched him pick up the ceramic piece and head for the kitchen and she rose to follow him.

"You look worried." Riley's cold hand on his forearm made him jump. He looked down at the woman standing behind him in the kitchen. Sam placed Dean's pie pan he'd retrieved from the war room table in the sink and rinsed it. "Sam?"

"I'm fine." He dried his hands on the dishtowel, keeping his gaze from hers.

Her chocolate gaze studied him closely and her eyebrow quirked slightly. "Do I look convinced?"

Sam smirked. "Not really."

"I'm fine. Dean's back-,"

"We still have a problem." He was referring to the Mark of Cain still adorning his brother's arm and she nodded, silently acknowledging his concerns. She hugged his torso before moving to the coffee pot. Sam watched her put on a fresh pot of coffee and turn on the warmer under the pot.

"We'll figure it out." The confidence in her voice was refreshing. "I promise you, Sam, we'll get that damn thing off your brother." Her dark eyes moved to his and she gave a single nod of her promise, making the left corner of Sam's mouth turn up in a tiny smile. The shuffle of slippers behind them made the pair turn to the doorway where Dean stood in his pajamas.

"You guys makin' breakfast?" He moved down the steps and towards them. Sam watched his brother hug Riley to his side as she grinned, her eyes sparkling as he dd so.

"Didn't you just eat the rest of that pie, or did I imagine that?" They smiled at one another before Dean looked up to Sam, who had a smirk on his face. "How are you still hungry?"

"I'm a growing boy." Dean stifled a yawn. "I'll make breakfast today, hm?"

"Sounds good to me." The younger man moved to the table and sat down. "It's about damn time... you haven't made us breakfast in what... like four months?" That struck Riley and she giggled and the playful bitchface Dean sported was enough to make Sam crack up laughing. Dean picked up the spatula and pointed it at his brother playfully as Riley headed towards the table to sit with Sam.

"Shut up or you don't get any bacon." That only made the pair laugh harder as Dean turned around to turn on the burner under the cast iron skillet, a smile lighting up his own features at their happiness.

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Riley had showered and blown her hair dry after getting her pajamas on that evening. She sat down on the edge of her bed and sighed softly. Dean had been home for just over two weeks and the trio hadn't been on a single hunt. They weren't taking any chances of him getting killed and turning back into a knight of hell. Dean was kinda pissed, but he understood Sam and Riley's reservations.

Riley leaned forward and pulled open her nightstand drawer to look over the contents. She pulled the shoebox carefully onto her lap and opened the notebook on top to study the angel banishing symbols Sam had shown her months ago as well as the warding symbols. She spent quite a bit of time studying them and would be using those very soon.

Riley lifted the lid of the shoebox and set it and the notebook aside and her gaze raked over the items carefully placed inside. A permanent black marker, sage, one black candle, matches, mugwort, black onyx, a silver pocket knife, some oils Castiel had procured for her, much to his dismay, and finally, driving directions she'd printed out at the Lebanon public library.

Under her bed sat her backpack. Her cell phone charger was in the side pocket as it was crammed with clothing, a pair of shoes, granola bars and some cash. Her hairbrush and deodorant were placed inside after her shower. Tears stung her eyes and she looked over at her dresser.

The beautiful reddish brown bowl Bobby had given her years before sat next to her bible. It would be the mixing place for all the ingredients for the spell.

The spell that would save Dean's life.

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"Hey..." Dean's sleepy voice made her smile a bit when she slipped into his room a few minutes later. She closed the door behind her and he lifted up the comforter, a silent invitation that she gladly accepted. Riley snuggled into him and sniffled quietly and he froze. "You okay?" His concern was evident and she felt his fingers in hers. "Ry?"

"I'm just... glad you're home."

He hugged her close to his torso and felt her relax some. "You know I'm not buying that."

"I just... don't want to lose you again." Riley whispered, her fingers gripping his tshirt. "Please promise me we won't lose you again."

"I promise." His whisper gave her some assurance.

His cell phone sat on his nightstand next to his friendship lamp, playing the soft sounds of a thunderstorm through the tiny speaker, coaxing both of them into relaxation. Several minutes passed before Riley whispered his name.

"Mm?"

"Why did you take me that night?"

"Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"I wanna know."

Dean sighed deeply. "I don't know... I came for Sam and I knew you were there and I just... needed to see you."

"Why?"

"I don't know." He sounded slightly frustrated. "I swear, it almost felt like... the Mark was calling out to you, leading me to you once I got inside here." Dean felt her suck in a breath. "You made me feel calm... quieted the darkness I had inside me for a little while."

"What was it like? When the Mark really took ahold of you?" The darkness in his bedroom was making her braver, asking questions she secretly wished to know but never could bring herself to ask.

"It was like... all the stuff that made me worry, made me care, just kinda melted away. It was kind of a freeing feeling, not to care about anyone but yourself." Dean paused. "My whole life, I've worried about and taken care of Sam. Not that I minded, but it was a lot to ask of a kid, a teenager. I had responsibility on me since I was four. I love Sam, don't get me wrong and I would do it all over again..."

"I know..."

"It would be like having all your anxiety and panic attacks taken from you." Dean spoke again, gentler this time. "And you would be free of that. but the cost is much greater... you wouldn't care about anyone but yourself and your own selfish needs and everyone around you that you would die for, your family, suddenly doesn't matter that much."

Riley felt tears stinging her eyes and she sniffled quietly. "I'm so sorry."

"Neither one of us got dealt a great hand."

She smiled a little in the darkness. "I know."

"I'm sorry for hurting you, Ry. You now I'd never-,"

"You don't need to say you're sorry anymore."

Dean stifled a yawn. "I know." He felt Riley kiss the stubbled underside of his jaw. "But-,"

"Goodnight Dean." She whispered, silencing him for the night. He settled down then and felt her breathing deepen a moment later. It felt incredible to have her close to him again and he never wanted to let her go.

spnspnspnspn

"Dean?" Riley squeezed her eyes shut, trying to keep the tremble out of her voice. "When you have a minute, can you come down to my room?" She had showered and checked her bag for the millionth time. She was pacing and she knew it was now or never. God had given her a second chance to save Dean and she wasn't going to waste it because she was scared. The world needed saving and Dean Winchester was the man to do it.

"Give me a minute." His voice floated out into the hallway from his bedroom. He just taken a shower and she knew he was getting dressed. Sam had just taken off to grab pizza and beer for dinner and Riley knew she had roughly forty five minutes until he returned to the bunker. That was enough time to do the spell and leave before he came back. By the time he'd arrive, Riley would be gone in the wind.

Down the hall, Dean yanked his tshirt over his head and tugged it down over his torso, ruffling his damp hair a bit. He slipped on his red flannel before shutting off his light and moved down to Riley's room. "Ry?" He waited for her to reply.

"Come in." Her voice sounded funny to him and he reached out to turn the knob, pushing open her door. She was standing at the end of her bed and to his surprise, Castiel was standing there also. Riley waved him inside and he moved towards them, frowning slightly when he realized her friendship lamp wasn't on her nightstand anymore.

There was palpable tension in the room and his brow wrinkled. "What's up guys?" The angel reached out and touched his forehead, putting Dean out immediately. Riley held her breath as she watched Castiel effortlessly pick him up from the floor and place him on her bed.

"I still do not understand why you wanted me to do that." He straightened and turned to see the brunette standing there, a sigil painted with her blood on the bedroom wall. "Riley?" He sounded confused and she had tears in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Cas." She slammed her hand in the middle of the sigil and Castiel disappeared from her bedroom. Riley wiped her bloody palm off on her jeans, ignoring the stinging of her wound.

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A/N:

 **Jennhopp12, SaphyraBlu13, EmilyAnnMcGarrett-Winchester, ButterflyAlley** and **jloh217-** thank you all for your reviews on the last chapter!

Yeah, like a true Winchester, Riley did something stupid for the greater good.

But at what cost?

CitrineMama


	30. Chapter 30

A/N:

Hey guys!

Yes, this _is_ super short, so there will be another update by Saturday. (A family member entered hospice this week, so I've been preoccupied.) :(

Shout out to **Jennhopp12, EmilyAnnMcGarrett-Winchester** and **jloh217** for your reviews on the last chapter. Y'all rock!

CitrineMama

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She'd sliced Dean's arm open just under the Mark and ran her thumb through the blood before smearing the crimson fluid on her own forearm before reading the ancient spell from the notebook. A bright light emitted from the Mark made her eyes close and she felt a surge of power course through her veins and burn underneath her skin. She cried out at the unexpected sensation and dropped to her knees, feeling extremely lightheaded.

Riley wasn't sure how much time had passed but the light eventually dissipated and she looked over at Dean on her bed. He was still breathing, lying motionless. She crawled over to him and tugged his flannel sleeve up. His arm was still bleeding, but the Mark was gone.

 _She'd done it._

Riley scrambled to her feet and searched her own body frantically until she found the Mark on her right hipbone. She looked over at Dean one more time after grabbing her bag from underneath her bed. "I'm so sorry, Dean." She whispered before grabbing her backpack from beside the bed. She picked up the friendship lamp next to it and looked at him one more time. His breaths were deep and even and as much as Riley wished to stay and stare at him, she knew she had to go.

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"Guys? I'm back." Sam's voice echoed through the bunker and he felt inexplicable worry settle in the pit of his stomach when no one answered him. "Dean? Riley?" The six pack of beer and pizza were abandoned on the table in the war room as Sam palmed his gun. He searched room by room until he saw Dean passed out on Riley's bed. He shook his brother awake. "Dean?"

"What happened?" Dean murmured sitting up. "Shit." His brow wrinkled at his mild headache. "Where's Riley?" He surveyed his surroundings. "Sam?"

"What the hell's going on?" Sam demanded, his voice full of worry. His brother looked confused as he tried to recall why he was laying on Riley's bed. _"Dean."_

"She called me in here and I came in and Cas... he freakin' put me out-," Dean began and was interrupted by a change in the air pressure and Castiel appeared suddenly, breathless. "What the hell, Cas?" Sam focused his attention on the angel as Dean sat up carefully, a bit woozy from the movement.

"I swear... I did not know why she asked me to put you out." He looked distraught and Sam threw his hands up, his jaw clenched angrily.

"Alright... why do you _think_ she wanted you to put Dean out?"

"Sam, I don't know." The angel was frustrated. "All she said was-,"

"Uh, guys?" Dean spoke carefully.

"Castiel, what reason could she possibly have-," Sam shot back, his anger spilling over.

"Guys, we got a problem." The oldest Winchester's quiet tone made both men stop arguing and look at Dean, who was now sitting at the edge of her bed. "What?" Sam sounded exasperated, tucking his gun back in the waistband of his jeans.

"We have a _colossal,"_ Dean shoved his flannel shirtsleeve up, the cut underneath clotted off. _"Massive,_ earth shattering problem." His tanned forearm was cleared of the Mark that plagued him. Castiel closed his eyes and Sam shook his head, not believing it was gone. His eyes held Sam's for a long moment, conveying every emotion he couldn't voice.

"My God, Riley... what did you do?" Castiel murmured, suddenly noticing a white envelope on the nightstand simply labeled _boys_. He reached down to pick it up and he stared at it for a moment before handing it over to Sam.

spnspnspnspn

25 minutes earlier...

Riley was in her truck and on the road two minutes later, closing the bunker garage behind her. She was praying not to run into Sam on the access road out. She slammed on the brakes when a deer darted out in front of her. She swore and hit the steering wheel with the heel of her hand before continuing out the rutted path towards the main road. "C'mon, c'mon c'mon," Riley chanted softly.

She pulled out onto the road and headed east. She had roughly an eight hour drive ahead of her and the Mark on her skin was making her feel energized in a way she never had. In the back of her mind, she tried to force that rush off as adrenaline.

Riley felt flushed and she reached out to crank her truck window down, letting the night air roll in, cooling her a bit. How long before she'd feel it's effects? For Dean, it had been roughly four months. She took the next left and headed towards the highway. Thunder rumbled ominously in the distance and the sky was darker now that it should have been for seven in the evening.

She saw the first drop of rain splatter against her windshield. Then another. Riley reached out numbly to click on her wipers and her headlights. Before she knew it, the rain was pelting consistently against the old truck, attempting to drown out the thoughts swirling around in her mind. Riley's eyes slid to the rearview mirror for what seemed like the thousandth time, making sure she wasn't being followed.

Her windshield wiper blades were snapping back and forth to clear the windshield momentarily, only to have the raindrops continue. The radio was off, leaving her alone with her thoughts. Riley's mind drifted back to the night Dean had walked in on her in the bathroom. He'd been so good to her and she almost hated that they'd gotten close; just another person that she'd grown to love and trust snatched from her life. The rain suddenly reminded her of the first night she'd gone to Dean's bedroom, her anxiety peaking and her hands shaking, wanting so badly to get rid of that feeling, she could taste it.

But she found herself instead, in his bed, curled up against Dean, his arms around her as they laid there. They found solace in each other's quiet company in the wee hours of the morning.

 _"Riley, I'm glad you're here." That soft phrase made the damn inside her chest break. "I don't want you being alone when you feel like this. Thank you for coming to me this time." Dean hummed a bit and he felt her take a nice, deep breath. He reached over to pull an extra blanket over them._ _It was sort of heavy and he liked it; pulling it over himself after a long day always comforted him in some small way._

 _He rubbed her back in circles and felt her relax against him some. "You wanna listen to something?" Riley just nodded slightly and she felt him reach across her body for something on the nightstand. She felt one of his earbuds being pressed into her left ear gently and she opened her eyes to find him putting the other one in his right ear before turning on what he'd been sitting in here listening to before she'd come to him._

 _He thumbed something on his cell phone and the sounds of a thunderstorm came through their earbuds. Riley closed her eyes again, seemingly content with his selection. He smiled a bit; only bad thing about the bunker was that when it rained, all the noise was drowned out._

Riley felt the sting of tears; Dean was probably furious, but who gave him the damn right to carry everything for them? The weight of their world wasn't on his shoulders alone and she sighed, knowing they were frantically searching for a way to find her.

But Riley had taken care of that.

She'd drawn a warding mark in permanent marker on her arm and on the inside of each of the truck windows. No locator spell or Castiel could find her until she was ready for that to happen. Her cell was off and in her canvas messenger bag on the bench seat next to her. The guilt she'd initially felt about this whole spell and going behind their backs to remove the Mark was quickly fading, being replaced with thoughts and reason. She simply needed to get it off of Dean so he could continue doing what he did best; fighting the good fight alongside his brother.

Saving the world.

How could Riley honestly feel like she'd done the wrong thing?

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Well, you didn't think this was over yet, did you?

Reviews are love! Have a wonderful evening! :)

CitrineMama


	31. Chapter 31

_Boys_ ,

 _There aren't words. I did what I had to do. Dean, you saved me and I had the chance to do the same for you._

 _I can't apologize for saving you from something you didn't deserve._

 _I will contact you at the beginning of May._

 _No sooner._

 _If you haven't heard from me by then, please accept it and move on with your lives._

 _You boys have to get used to the fact that at the most important crossroads in our lives, there are no signs. I love you both dearly. You are such beautiful souls. Don't ever lose that._

 _I hate to leave it all, I hate to leave very much, but I hope I have done some good. The world is a beautiful place and worth fighting for._

 _Riley Ann_

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"What the hell does this mean?" Dean handed the paper to his brother. Sam studied it for a moment. "May? Why May?" Hazel met green and Dean closed his eyes, the wrinkle between his brows getting more prominent.

"Dean?" Sam spoke, his mind getting to the why part faster than his brother. "May is four months from now... it took you about four months to feel the full affects..." Castiel closed his eyes for a few seconds, the meaning behind her words sinking in.

"Fuck." Dean whispered, feeling the sting of tears. "She didn't have to do this, Sam."

"You saved her?" The younger man asked carefully. "What does that mean?" Dean gave Sam a pointed look and suddenly, the younger man understood. Sam handed the note from Riley to Castiel, who looked over it as well.

"Sam? Where the hell'd she go?" Dean's voice was strained.

"I have no idea." He looked at the letter again, scanning it. "She's as paranoid and crytpic as Bobby was."

Dean sniffled and took the letter back from Castiel, flipping it over. "So we got nothin'." He sounded upset. "She's gone and so is the Mark..." Green met hazel again. "Did she say anything, Cas? Anything we could use to find her?" Dean got up and started to pace the bedroom floor. He expected an immediate location of the brunette from his friend but was instead met with silence.

"Cas?" Both boys spoke simultaneously and the angel frowned, looking defeated himself.

"I cannot find her."

Sam squeezed his eyes shut, suddenly remembering something from months ago, when he and Riley had come back from their little road trip. "She's warded, you guys."

"How is she warded against Cas?" Dean stopped his angry pacing, looking at the items in the bowl on her dresser before his gaze moved back to his brother. _"Sam."_

"When we came back from her hometown a few months before you..." _Died_. "She had all these questions... the day before we went to meet with Metatron, she was asking me all about the angels."

 _"Aren't all angels good?" The innocence in her question made Sam smile._

 _"No." There was so much more behind his words._

 _"So... what happens if they attack you?"_

 _"You banish them away temporarily with a spell."_

 _"Like how exactly?" He gave her a look. "I might need to know, Sam. Show me." He pulled a notebook towards him and opened it to scrawl on the margin._

 _"Has to be done with blood."_

 _"My blood?"_

 _"Yeah. You draw that symbol on a surface and slap your hand in the middle with your own blood to banish them. Gives you a good five minute head start, at least."_

 _"So they aren't all good like Castiel?"_

 _"Unfortunately not."_

 _"Can we be protected from them with like a charm or something?"_

 _"Like our demon tats?" Riley nodded. "Yeah." Sam drew another symbol. "This one. We don't use it other than to draw on walls when we're not here. Then they can't sense us or get inside. Makes ya invisible like." Riley nodded, eyeing the two things he'd drawn._

 _"I always read angels were good and just."_

 _"That's not the case."_

"I told her about the sigil to banish any bad angels, I showed her how to draw the warding on the wall." Sam closed his eyes, his jaw working. "She's been planning this, you guys. For months. _Fuck_."

"She fucking drew it on herself." Dean realized in horror. "Then she can literally go anywhere without us knowing." The trio was quiet. "We gotta find her."

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The three men had unanimously agreed that Riley would take off and head to Bobby's house and once in the car, Castiel spoke. "She disclosed to me that she wanted to remove the Mark from you, Dean." His confession in the dark car felt immense and both boys were shocked. "She'd been researching a spell and gathering items..."

He glanced in the rearview mirror at the distraught angel. "And you didn't tell me because...?"

Castiel looked out the window, avoiding Dean's deadly glare. "She had asked me not to tell you." An angry fist was pressed against Dean's mouth, not wanting to explode on Cas knowing he didn't deserve how angry he felt at that very moment. Sam watched his brother take a deep breath to calm himself before he lost what little self control he had left.

"Alright..." Pause. "Anything _else_ you wanna share with the class, Cas?" Sarcasm was thick in his tone.

"She was exposed to blood as an infant... she didn't want to tell you, Sam."

Sam twisted in his seat in shock, his eyes wide in the dark car, not sure if he wanted to hear the rest. "What kind of blood?"

Castiel sighed deeply. "Blood from a man who was called most holy. Her mother did not know her father did this... it was done in the same way you were exposed to demon blood as an infant, Sam." Sam swallowed the lump in his throat and his gaze fell on his brother again. "The letter her father left her... told her everything." Dean's white knuckle grip on the wheel showed his hurt.

His guilt.

His anger.

"She never bothered to to mention this to us?" Dean was beyond pissed. "Never thought to say hey, _by the way,_ my blood has holy properties?"

"That's why..." Sam murmured softly, putting the pieces together in the front seat. "Riley's blood took the edge off the Mark... every time her blood was quite _literally_ on your hands, it calmed the darkness inside you." His eyes moved to his brother's across the bench seat, the realization sinking in. "Her blood was on your hands when you called me to come get you guys at the hotel a couple weeks ago. That's why you just gave in and let us take you home without a fight so we could cure you."

Dean was still reeling from the angel's quiet confession. He vividly remembered the only three times when the Mark was on his arm and how the fury that bubbled inside his soul was inexplicably and immediately subdued.

The first, when she'd self harmed in the bunker bathroom before he'd taken her out for ice cream and a heart to heart.

The second, when Riley had gotten hurt on the hunt she'd gone on with the boys and he'd cleaned and patched her knee in the motel room.

The third, when she'd tried to end everything after Dean had forcefully taken her from the safety of the bunker in attempt to draw out his brother.

"So this _whole time,_ Riley's blood could have helped? Why the hell didn't you tell us that from the get-go, Cas? What happens when she dies... what happens _then_?" Dean's voice was wrecked at this point. "She turns into an angel?" There was obvious distaste in his tone. "Won't that be fuckin' _awesome_."

"I do not know." Cas was quieter now. "Dean, Sam, I apologize. I tried to tell you she could be of help to you concerning the Mark, but you did not want to listen. I should have come to you and insisted-,"

"You're damn right you should have, Cas. _Son of_ _a bitch."_ The heel of his hand hit the wheel again. "Riley's out there _alone_ with that fuckin' Mark on her and she's..." His voice broke as he remembered the way it felt when he was spiraling out of control and the Mark was threatening to take over in every way that made him good.

Sam's hand shot out to grip the dashboard when Dean pulled over suddenly to the bumpy shoulder and threw Baby into park. He unbuckled his seatbelt before shoving the driver's side door open. Dean got out, stalking around towards the tailgate, leaving his door wide open.

"Is he going to shoot me?" Castiel leaned forward to speak to Sam.

Before Sam could reply, the passenger side door was wrenched open. "Get out. You're driving. I can't." Sam unbuckled his seatbelt and got out and Dean slid into the passenger seat and slouched down, his hand over his mouth. Sam closed the door before jogging around the front of the car and got in, pulling the driver's side door closed.

"If something happens to Riley, I swear Cas, I'll never forgive myself." Dean's voice was choked and his shoulders were tense.

"We'll find her Dean." Sam's comforting voice from his left made his eyes close and he snapped his seatbelt, closing his eyes as he focused on the familiar feel of the pavement under the tires as they headed to Souix Falls to Bobby's house, hoping against all hope that's where Riley had gone.

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The night wind breezed in through the truck windows where she'd rolled them down a couple of inches. Her brown hair would be a tangled mess when she arrived at her destination, but Riley didn't care. The cool evening air felt good against her too hot skin. The map next to her hip fluttered in the circulating air and she put her cell phone atop it to stop the movement. She'd read over the directions dozens of times over the last couple of months, the roads nearly ingrained to her memory.

Her left elbow was propped against the driver's side window, the backs of her knuckles against her lips to prevent the sobs she was holding back from escaping. Her right hand was on the steering wheel, her thumb drumming nervous rhythm against it as she drove into the night. Omaha was her destination and she would be there around midnight to check into a motel for a few hours.

Tears stung her eyes and regret flooded her heart as she imagined Dean waking up in her bedroom when Sam came back and them finding her gone. Yes, she'd betrayed him and she suddenly remembered another part of Bobby's letter.

 _Sometimes you have to do a little bad, to do a whole lotta good._

 _Damned if that wasn't the truth,_ she thought bitterly.

Song after song played on her slightly static-y radio, each one provoking a different memory. Riley didn't even realize she was crying until she pulled into the two pump gas station two hours later to use the bathroom and fuel up.

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A/N:

Hello lovelies!

So a bunch of information has come to light here. I hope I nailed the foreshadowing from Sam and Riley's conversation in chapter 16 (the flashback), Bobby's words of wisdom and the three times Dean had Riley's blood on his hands and the way it made him feel.

Castiel told them twice before in the earlier chapters that Riley could be of help to them, but they didn't want to involve her other than researching.

 **Jloh217, unsigned guest** and **EmilyAnnMcGarrett-Winchester-** thank you guys for your reviews on the last chapter!

Let me know what you thought.

CitrineMama


	32. Chapter 32

The rain was relentless for the next few hours after her fuel up as Riley drove east. It was nearly midnight when she pulled off the highway for the night into some budget motel whose half lit neon sign was flashing vacancy. She got out of her truck and jogged into the office, her hoodie pulled up over her head. The twenty something kid at the desk gave her a room and she paid in cash.

No way she would risk using her credit cards now, knowing damn well that Sam was already watching for activity. She got back in her truck and drove around to the back of the building to park near the door to her room. Once inside, she locked the door and leaned against it, her heart pounding away in her chest. Her bag was discarded on the table near the door. She took a couple deep breaths and let them out slowly, trying to calm her nerves. Riley blinked back tears and her hand came up to push away the one that managed to escape down her cheek.

She did this for a reason.

 _To save Dean._

Riley took another deep breath and moved to the table where she'd tossed her bag. She shuffled through it and found some sleep attire to change into. Her jeans had bloodstains from both her and Dean and luckily the kid at the desk hadn't asked or noticed them. She froze for a few seconds when she saw the cell phone in her bag. It was still shut off so they couldn't locate her.

Riley flopped on the only bed after changing her clothes and closed her eyes, trying to relax, knowing that a few hours of restless sleep at the crappy, rundown motel wouldn't really do much for her emotional exhaustion. Her mind was racing and memories of her late nights with the eldest Winchester haunted her like no other. She could picture him so clearly, laying next to her and gazing at her with those impossibly green eyes of his as they cuddled close in the wee hours of the morning.

By 4am, she'd given up on sleep and checked back out, bag in hand. The rain was still coming down, but with less intensity now, as if mother nature were sensing she needed some sort of reprieve. Across the street sat a lonely two pump gas station and Riley had pulled her truck across the deserted road and near the side entrance. The coffee she'd gotten had helped calm her nerves immensely.

 _An extra large coffee with four caffeine shots and some hazelnut creamer oughta do the trick,_ Riley thought to herself. _Then I'll be there by daybreak._

She'd paid for her coffee and a few snacks before pushing out the smudged, fingerprinted glass doors back out into the dark parking lot as another patron passed by her. She scanned her surroundings quickly before she unlocked her truck and slid back inside, locking the doors again.

Riley turned over the engine and got out of there, one hand on the wheel and the other holding onto her coffee cup, the warmth bringing her some semblance of comfort, even though her world was falling apart for the millionth time.

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Meanwhile, in the Impala...

It was nearly 3am when they'd arrived at Bobby's house. They'd driven straight to his home from the bunker after Sam had come back with the pizza to find Riley gone and Dean out like a light in her bedroom next to the bowl with the ingredients of a powerful spell to transfer the Mark of Cain.

The boys were in the living room, the rainstorm a steady thrum on the roof above them as they turned on their laptops. "I'm looking up her credit cards again... see if there's any activity, withdraws..." Sam sank onto the chair, his eyes focused on the screen in front of him.

Dean was still standing there, in a state of shock. "Sammy, why'd she do this?" His voice was hushed.

"She wanted to save you Dean." A sad smile tugged at his lips. "You know what? When she was making you dinner the other night, Riley promised me that we'd find a way to save you."

Dean's throat worked to swallow. "She did?"

"Yeah," Pause. "I was teasing her about spoiling you and she laughed and told me she didn't care, that she was just glad to have you back." Sam saw Dean wipe his eyes with the heel of his hand and turn away for a moment while he gathered his emotions before they spilled over. He took a deep breath and exhaled through his nose before moving behind the wooden chair where his brother sat.

"Anything?" Dean asked, leaning over to read over Sam's shoulder.

"Nothing."

"Sonovabitch..." There was defeat in his voice and Sam sighed.

"She didn't leave anything else behind? Nothin' that would clue us in to where she went?"

The older man began pacing across the worn floorboards underneath his boots. "Riley planned this out, Sam. She's not stupid. She knows we'll track her. She straight up _ghosted_ our asses."

Sam shifted in his chair to look up at his older brother. "Dean, I'll put an alert on my phone so if anything pops up, we'll know. If she so much as runs a red light, we'll know." He saw Dean close his eyes defeatedly. "We'll find her, brother."

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Three hours and forty minutes later, she pulled into the crumbling driveway and cut the engine. The morning was still somewhat dark and quiet, the sun not yet peeking over the pine trees that overshadowed the little house from the backyard. Riley slid out of the truck, suddenly nervous for showing up unannounced at this early hour.

Her wobbly legs carried her up to the front porch. Riley pulled open the screen door with a hell of a lot more confidence than she felt and took a deep breath before she rapped sharply on the thick wood door. She turned to look behind her out of habit but saw no one in the quiet stillness of the morning.

Ten long seconds passed and Riley was just about to knock again when she saw a small light turn on in the dark house. The porch light turned on a few seconds later and the white curtain covering the stained glass window were pushed aside with the occupant's index finger before a pair of tired eyes met hers.

The heavy door unlocked and was pulled open. A tear slipped down her cheek without her realizing it. "I know it's early and I didn't call, but I had no place else to go..."

The door was held open and she was waved inside. "Come in here. Tell me everything..."

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Sixty miles west and a couple hours later...

 _"There's a store about five minutes from the cabin. Just stop there and grab the rest. Let the tap run a little when you get there. Haven't been up there since last summer."_

Her friend had made her a sandwich for the road and packed her a plastic bag with some groceries from her own pantry. When Riley was using the bathroom, the woman slipped a fifty dollar bill under the plastic lid of the coffee can, pinning it between the foiled seal and the lid. The toilet flushed and Riley reappeared before hugging her friend goodbye before watching the brunette climb back into the two tone truck and back out of the drive, waving before she pulled away.

The drive there was fairly smooth and she let the radio play softly as she drove, a small smile playing over her features as Riley looked over at the plastic bag of groceries. _What_ _a great lady,_ she thought. _Maybe there still is_ _a chance for humanity after all._ Before she knew it, the road came to the the tiny store and Riley parked in the nearly empty ten space lot before she cut the engine and got out, closing the door, her purse on her arm.

A friendly greeting was called out as she pushed open the door, the bell above her jingling and she flashed the kid behind the counter a small smile before she she meandered through the half dozen aisles, scanning the prices and putting items into her basket. Riley knew to make smart choices and she eyed the bottle of lavender body wash longingly before settling on a simple bar of soap that was much more inexpensive. Riley moved to the only register and her items were rung up and placed into plastic bags.

"Thank you." Riley smiled a little at the male teen aged clerk as he handed her back the change. She'd gotten some pantry staples from the tiny grocer that proudly stated they were in business since the forties. They'd opened shortly after the area was turned into a state park and people started building cabins there and an RV park opened up there year round. _It was secluded,_ he'd mentioned, _so there was no room for competition._

Riley knew she only had limited funds, so she had to make the food she had last. She had no credit cards or anything, so cash was king. She'd bought some oatmeal, milk, canned tuna, rice and some pasta to get her through the next couple weeks.

The daylight was fading slowly as she drove through the woods to her cabin and parked before going inside. There was no television there, but she'd brought a couple books to pass the time. Riley's stomach suddenly growled and she realized she hadn't eaten today other than breakfast as her friend's home that morning. It had taken her about an hour to get from her friend's house to the McIntosh Woods State Park where the cabin was.

The cabin was small, maybe 600 square feet and had a tiny kitchen, a sitting/ dining area and one small bathroom and tiny bedroom. _But it would suffice,_ Riley reasoned. All she had to do was survive for four months before contacting the boys.

In other circumstances, this would have been the perfect weekend getaway. But in this case, it would provide Riley privacy and time for the Mark to dig in its claws. Dean said it had taken him about four months to feel the full affects and that terrified her. What would happen if she couldn't control herself as well as Dean had?

Riley shook those thoughts away and focused on unpacking the groceries she'd bought. The oatmeal tasted bland with only milk, but she hadn't bought any sugar and she cursed herself for that. After her afternoon meal, Riley brewed a half pot of coffee and poured herself a mug before stepping out onto the deck facing Clear Lake. It was cooler than usual for this time of year, maybe in the mid forties and she was thankful for the cool air. Riley curled up on a well worn wooden deck chair and cupped her hands around the warm mug, her eyes on the water.

 _The boys must be worried sick,_ she realized. She knew Dean must feel betrayed, and for that, she was sorry. Riley remembered her bag in the corner of the bedroom with a sigh. The only item inside was the one thing she hadn't unpacked and hadn't been able to look at since she left the bunker.

Her friendship lamp.

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Good morning lovelies!

Thank you to **ButterflyAlley, jloh217** and my unsigned **guest** for your reviews on the last chapter!

Hope y'all enjoyed this! Have a wonderful day!

CitrineMama


	33. Chapter 33

Solitude is something we all secretly long for, even chase. Quiet stolen moments to breathe and reflect upon and nature always seems to come into play in some aspect. Alone time is essential to a person's mental health, but under these circumstances, Riley was trying to keep herself from going crazy. She absolutely craved any form of human contact and the visits once a week to the tiny grocer to talk to the same kid who worked there were looked forward to each Saturday.

She already read the books she'd brought from the bunker and longed for a wifi signal.

 _And the boys._

Riley start planning daily activities for herself to do, keep busy and have a purpose. After writing in her journal for awhile, she'd finish her undoubtedly cold cup of coffee. She swept off the porch everyday that over looked Clear Lake and walked the shoreline after breakfast. She found a smooth, flat rock after being there for nearly a month and it gave her an idea. She would collect more smooth flat stones and build a firepit, something the cabin didn't have.

Maybe it was stupid, but it gave her something to do each day, scour the desolate water's edge for materials. Riley collected the rocks each morning and shaped the firepit each afternoon. This seemed to calm her anxiety some and her thoughts were never far from the Winchester boys. She knew while she was here doing collecting dumb rocks to keep herself from going mad, they were probably going nuts and trying to find her.

 _Or maybe they weren't trying at all._

 _Maybe they'd just shrugged and cut their losses and continued to hunt, the Mark removed from Dean._

Deep down, she knew that wasn't true. She'd gotten way too close to the boys for them to just drop her like a bad habit. Bobby clearly wanted them to look after her and they'd done an amazing job so far.

Well, until Riley decided to take matters into her own hands and take on the Mark.

What the boys and Castiel hadn't known was that while going to school in Decorah, Iowa, Riley had done her thesis on the Mark of Cain. She'd done research for nearly an entire semester on the subject, knowing more than the boys had ever dreamed of, which was why she'd asked Sam if it could be removed or transferred.

She'd thought it was strange now, looking back to when her teacher's assistant assigned her that particular subject for her twenty page thesis during her last semester, how he'd smiled and told her that he had the _perfect_ subject for her to research. Little did Riley know just how that tiny seemingly meaningless coincidence in a little college a couple states away would change her world forever.

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Twelve weeks.

It had been twelve weeks since Riley had disappeared, leaving behind only a note. The boys spent their days and nights searching for something, anything, that might lead them to Riley. Castiel was always on watch, waiting for some sign of her presence somewhere in this green earth, but he always came up empty. The guilt he was feeling was something he never thought he'd experience and he knew that he should've told the boys what Riley was planning the moment she came to him months before Dean died and turned into a night of hell.

With each day that passed, Dean got more anxious. Time was ticking away fast and he wondered if Riley could feel it. Feel the beckon of the darkness calling out to her like a beacon of light in the darkest of nights. Only it wasn't a light; it was the draw of freedom... freedom from everything that made her good.

"You alright?" Sam's wary, rhetorical question made him close his red rimmed eyes.

"Oh yeah, I'm fuckin' _wonderful."_

"We have to keep looking." Sam still held on to hope that Riley was still out there, still okay, still fighting. Held onto that hope for the both of them.

"How could she just _disappear?"_ He must have asked that question a million times. "She had a place to go and cash to use? _How_? Did you check and see if her cell was back on yet?" The older man was alternating between nervous pacing and looking over his brother's shoulder at the laptop.

"Of course I did." Sam's studious eyes raked over his older brother before he set down a mug of coffee in front of Dean's chair before sitting back down across from him in the war room. "Did you even go to bed last night?"

Dean glared at Sam before he rested his hands on the back of the wooden chair, completely ignoring the steaming mug of coffee. "I _can't_ sleep. Just knowing she's out there somewhere... alone..."

"I'll take the next few hours. Go lay down before you pass out." Sam nodded to the couch a few feet away. "I'll keep looking, Dean." To his surprise, Dean considered that for a few seconds before he took a sip of coffee. Sam watched him head for the couch. He was snoring within a couple minutes, making the younger man smile sadly before his hazel gaze returned to the screen in front of him.

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 _He watched her sleep. Not in the creepy ass way way Castiel watched him sometimes, of course. His gaze meandered over her features; her slightly crooked nose, a few scattered freckles and her dark lashes. Her lips were parted in her slumber and he watched her breathe._

 _She was always at peace while she slept with him and there were the nights, like tonight, where he'd heard her awake in the stillness of the early morning, soft sobs coming from her room after some nightmare that she refused to share with him. Dean had swung his legs over the side of the bed, letting the dizziness fade before padding up the dark hallway in his bare feet to her room._

 _Riley wiped her eyes haphazardly and he entered her room and simply held out his hand. She'd reached out and taken it. He pulled her to her feet and led her wordlessly to his bedroom, closing the door behind them. He left his lamp on the lowest setting, because he knew she was afraid of the dark._

 _They'd climbed into his bed together, he always closest to the door. Dean felt her relax against him as he spooned her, pulling the blankets up over them. "Night Ry," He squeezed her just a little bit tighter._

"Night Dean." She whispered back.

He stirred a bit and his mind drifted onto the next dream.

 _They were giggling in his bed, an amused smirk on his mouth because she was a happy sort of drunk. She'd had a little of his whiskey in her coffee after dinner and had a nice buzz going. Everything he said was funny and he laughed right along with her, his ribs hurting in the best kind of way._

 _"I can't sleep."_

 _"That's the booze."_

 _"Read to me."_

 _His brow quirked. "Like, a bedtime story?"_

 _"Yeah."_

 _"Like..." Dean racked his brain for anything. "Like what?"_

 _"I'm reading a novel. It's in my top drawer." Her chocolate gaze held his. She held up a fist to do rock paper scissors and he shook his head._

 _"I'll go." He was back in his room in less than a minute and had said novel. "You know, Ry, I've read this. Wasn't half bad."_

 _"Really?"_

 _Dean settled next to her, his back against the headboard. "In high school or something." He began to read and his gravelly voice made her eyes close._

 _"I like to listen to you." Her sleepy voice was getting softer._

 _He smiled and continued to read as Riley drifted off. "The world is a fine place... and worth fighting for... I hate to leave it, I hate it very much..."_

Dean's bloodshot eyes snapped open and he gasped for a breath. He sat up from where he'd been dozing at the war room in the couch, closing his eyes from the dizziness that threatened him with the sudden movement. Sam looked at him questioningly. "Dean?"

"Where's that letter Riley left us? I was dreaming and... remembered something..."

Sam pulled it out of a notebook and handed it over and Dean got up. "What?"

"This quote..." He tapped his index finger to the line in Riley's cryptic letter. "The world is a beautiful place and worth fighting for? That's from a _book_ , Sam."

"What book?" The younger man rose when he saw his brother do so.

"I think I read it to her one night. Something by Hemmingway."

Sam had surprise on his features. "Really?" Dean gave him a sharp look. "Wait... that part about hating to leave this world..." He paled visibly and the older man stopped. "Dean, Hemmingway wrote that?"

"Right. I _just_ said that."

Sam's jaw clenched. "Dean, Hemmingway committed suicide." His words were followed by a shocked silence.

"What?"

Sam leaned over the table and opened a new tab on his laptop and typed something in before turning the screen towards his brother, who'd moved to the lighted table. "July 2nd, 1961." Dean's eyes closed painfully.

"Sammy, we gotta find that book." The two men moved down to her bedroom quickly. Sam watched his brother yank open her top drawer and shuffle through her underwear before he came up with the only book she'd left behind in the bunker. He flipped it open and a piece of newspaper slid out and floated to the floor before Dean could grasp it. His knees cracked a bit as he knelt to the floor to pick of the paper and he frowned at what he saw.

"Wait. What the hell is this?" Dean straightened as he studied the creased paper before flipping it over. He set the paperback book on the dresser Bobby had made for Riley. Sam watched his brother as he unfolded it completely, confusion etched on his features. "It's a grocery ad." Sam held out a hand and Dean handed him the faded paper. Sam's gaze raked over the six month old ad before he finally saw it.

She'd drawn stars next to two of the store's specials for the week.

"Irish creme and coffee." Sam spoke out loud, a smile lighting up his face for the first time in nearly a month. "Dean, I know where she went..."

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The bag of groceries she'd brought in from the truck was set down on the tiny bit of counter space and Riley peered inside, pulling each item out to study. A new can of coffee, a bag of dried beans, canned chicken, brown rice and a bunch of bananas were all placed carefully on the counter top.

The conversation faded from her mind. Riley wandered into the bedroom and shuffled through her clothing, pulling out a hoodie and pajama shorts from the deep drawers under the bed. She yawned, suddenly exhausted and headed for the shower after pulling all the curtains in the cabin closed.

Riley placed her clean clothing on the sink before she undressed and tossed her worn clothing in the corner of the bathroom before she cranked on the water. Steam floated above her a moment later and she got inside the shower, sighing when the hot water cascaded over her aching shoulders. There was a half bottle of shampoo sitting on the shelf that she'd been using, probably from the last time the cabin was used and the smell of strawberries invaded her nostrils.

She washed her hair and body as Dean and Sam drifted into her thoughts and she felt her eyes sting with tears. Should she just call and let them figure this out together? Let them yell and tell her how stupid it was to transfer the Mark to herself?

 _No._

She couldn't do that. It was then she realized that she had no plan B. This _had_ to work. She had holy blood running through her and that was honestly the only thing that kept her from freaking out right now. Riley reached out to crank the water back off. She got out and used one of the worn bath towels from the tiny storage cubby before hanging it over the shower door and getting into her pajamas.

That morning at the cabin, she started the day off with a mug of coffee out on the back deck, looking out over Clear Lake. There was fog over the water today and it was meandering through the trees in the morning and it was eerily beautiful. Riley sat out there for sometime after she'd heated a small pot of water on low on the range top for her oatmeal. She'd stuck close to the cabin, her running shoes crunching over the leaves as she moved to the water's edge to toss in stones, watching the waves echo outward. Gathering stones for her firepit today hadn't crossed her mind.

Something was different, she could feel it in her bones.

Something felt like it was looming over her.

The birds were starting to chirp and Riley headed back to the safety of her cabin, knowing the water was boiling on the stove, ready for her oatmeal to be poured in. After breakfast, Riley let herself doze on the couch until she awoke sometime later in the afternoon. There weren't any working clocks in the cabin and that in itself was maddening.

The only clock was above the stove and it ran on batteries, which were long dead now. Riley always looked at the receipts from the store to find out what time it was and that seemed to be a surprise each time. The same clerk, the teenage boy, was always there and he was always kind to her.

 _If he only knew the evil that was etched on my body, he probably wouldn't be this nice,_ her anxiety taunted her.

After a midday nap, she'd make herself dinner, pasta or rice and beans and some sort of fruit. Most often canned, but it was food and she couldn't complain. Riley would read in the living room and fall asleep when it got dark. Her days weren't ever rushed, for she had no place else to be.

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Hello lovely readers!

Shout out to **EmilyAnnMcGarrett** - **Winchester** , **SaphyraBlu13** , **ButterflyAlley** and **jloh217** for reviewing the last chapter! You guys rock!

So who helped Riley leave the bunker and hide?

CitrineMama


	34. Chapter 34

"Let's go." Dean set Riley's book down on her dresser and gave Sam a look when he didn't move. "Sam?"

"It's eight o'clock at night." The older man held out his hands. "We can't just show up at that woman's house in the middle of the night, Dean."

"Fine." He took a breath. "Where does she live?"

"Iowa. It's about an eight hour drive from here."

Dean nodded. "And how did you two find this lady, anyways? You never really told me that part."

Sam sighed. "We went to find the man who baptized Riley as a child. Bobby referenced some secrets her father had in the letter he left her." Pause. "The pastor we were looking for had passed away and this lady was his wife. She had Riley's baptism certificate and a letter from her dad and a necklace he'd left her. I never pushed Riley to show me the letter... I just trusted that she told me what the letter said."

"So you kept this from me?" Sam sighed and Dean glared at him. "Just trying to understand this here."

"Bobby told her to contact this guy. It honestly had nothing to do with you. Or so we thought."

Dean's jaw worked for a few seconds before he relaxed slightly. Sam wasn't at fault here. He was angry and it wasn't fair for his attitude to be directed at his little brother. "Okay. So then what?"

"Then nothing. She didn't share the part about her baptism with me... only with Castiel. Believe me, Dean, if we would've known..." The older man sighed defeatedly. "I'm sorry, Dean."

"I guess I'll grab a few hours and we can leave first thing." Dean looked over at Riley's empty bed. "Okay?"

"Yeah." Sam drifted out of her bedroom and Dean stood there for a few seconds before leaving her bedroom.

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Dean rolled over in his bed and looked at his friendship lamp for the seemingly _millionth_ time in the last three months. He wanted so badly to touch it. See if he'd even get a reply.

Riley could be dead for all they knew and Sam and Castiel were unable to track her movements or whereabouts. It could go one of two ways; he could tap it on and she would tap back or two, there would be no response. Honestly, Dean wasn't sure which way would be worse at this point in time and he was going insane with all the unknowns. His heart was thudding wildly in his chest as he reached over and tapped the coppered base without giving it another thought.

He left it on and stared at it, waiting for a moment before he turned it off. Dean held his breath for nearly thirty seconds and to his shock, the lamp turned on for a few seconds, then turned back off. He tapped it on, then off again, waiting for a reply.

It turned on again and began a rhythm that Dean recognized and he chuckled to himself, not even realizing his eyes were stinging with tears.

 _Smoke on the water._

It was the exact same song he'd tapped to his lamp when he was finally cured from being a knight of hell, opening the lines of communication once again between them. That was also an extremely difficult situation they had managed to overcome. Dean smirked a little through his tears, the irony of the situation not lost on him.

Dean waited until the chorus was over before he turned it on and off again and his simple reply was returned. _At least she was okay,_ he thought. Dean finally had some way to communicate with her, as small as it seemed. "Goodnight, sweetheart." He murmured as he stared at the lamp on his nightstand, amid his family pictures and empty candy wrappers. "We're coming for ya."

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Four hundred and seventy one miles away, Riley was wiping away tears even though she was smiling. Dean had finally figured out that she had her lamp and had reached out to her. He still cared and maybe it was dumb to think so, but it gave her some hope that someone still had some faith in her. Yes, he was probably furious with her and would have a lecture of a lifetime ready for her when she got home, but he still had faith.

Sometimes Riley wanted to give in, call them, but something always held her back. Maybe pride, maybe fear. Maybe a little of both. _I only have four more weeks, then I'll call and see if they even want me back._

She slept on the couch every night instead of in the tiny, cramped bedroom, leaving the lamp on in the corner, still never sleeping in the dark. Thunder had been rumbling on and off all day, but not a drop of rain had fallen yet. The cabin was quiet and she wanted very badly for the rain to start. Ever since Dean had pressed the earbud into her ear that night she went to him for the first time, she'd associated the thunderstorm sounds with comfort and safety, two things that radiated off of Dean.

Riley wondered how angry he and Sam were with her. Wondered if they'd eventually figure out where she was. It had been three months and they hadn't figured it out yet, so maybe they wouldn't. She snuggled down into the couch and tugged the blanket up over her. Riley was wearing Dean's tshirt and some pajama pants, eager for anything that felt like home.

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Sam groaned softly when Dean called his name from the doorway of the younger man's bedroom. "What the hell?"

"It's six in the morning. Cas is gonna take us there."

"Car and all?" His brother nodded. "Let me get a bag."

"Five minutes." The door closed again. Dean had long been dressed and ready, waiting with his duffel in the garage when Sam came up the stairs with his own bag, wild hair and eyes full of sleep. "Morning princess." His snark made Sam smile.

"Good morning." Castiel breezed in then. "I will take you there." Ten dizzying seconds passed and the two boys and the impala were parked outside of Marge Frank's home. "Call me if you need me." He was gone in a fluttering of wings.

"C'mon." Sam led the way up the front walkway and knocked on the door. Dean saw some movement in the front window and the door opened a few seconds later. "Good morning, I'm not sure if you remember me, but my friend Riley and I-," The screen door was pushed open.

"Of course Sam." She gave him a tired smile before looking to Dean. "You must be Dean. C'mon in. I was just getting ready to make some breakfast." Sam looked to Dean before the two men followed the woman into her kitchen. "You boys eat yet?"

"No m'am." Dean answered quietly and she laughed.

"You don't have to call me m'am. Call me Margie." She was still in her bathrobe and pajamas, but she didn't seem to mind. "You boys like anything?"

"Anything's wonderful." Sam answered as he and Dean slid into the retro styled chairs in the small, dated eat in kitchen. The older woman hummed as she cracked eight eggs into one pan and stripped a pound of bacon into another.

"Rye toast okay?"

"That's great." Sam answered and Dean gave him a pointed look. "Look, Margie-,"

"I told her you'd come." Her soft voice cut him off. She poked at the eggs with a spatula before turning to face the two men at her table. "She told me to wait four months. You know, for the affects of the Mark to show themselves or not." Dean actually blushed at that, somewhat embarrassed that this woman knew so much about that ugly part of him. "I told her that I didn't believe that was gonna happen."

"Because of her blood?" Sam spoke.

Margie turned back to the bacon and flipped some of the strips. "My husband was a pastor, boys, and I always believed in good as much as I have evil and that girl is nothin' but good." She paused. "And no Mark is gonna stomp out that light she's got inside her." Sam smiled a little bit and she moved to pour them coffee. "Irish, Sam?"

"Of course."

"Dean?"

"Please." She poured them both coffees and fixed their plates before setting them down in front of the two men. "It's nice to cook for someone again." Her tone was wistful. The boys exchanged glances before she snapped out of it. "You boys finish up and I'll make ya a couple sandwiches for the road." A comfortable silence settled over the kitchen and the sound of forks scraping against the plates and coffee being sipped made Margie smile.

Dean gulped down his food, hungry for the first time since Riley skipped out on them and Sam hid a smile, his eyes moving from his older brother to the woman who was wrapping up their sandwiches. He rose to put his plate in the sink and spoke softly. "Thanks so much for breakfast... and for making sure Riley was safe."

She reached up and patted his cheek, her eyes sparkling. "You are so welcome." Margie turned to Dean, who was downing his coffee and juice before heading to the sink with his dishes.

"That was amazing." He leaned in and kissed the older woman's cheek and she laughed softly, taking his plate as he set his glasses in the sink.

"I'm glad you boys stopped by. Let me get that address for ya and walk you out." She stuck the plate in the empty dishpan and moved to a drawer and shuffled around until she came up with a pencil and a scrap of paper, scrawling some directions on it. She handed the paper to Sam, who nodded. "C'mon, I'll walk you boys out." She handed Dean the two sandwiches before they made their way back to the front of the house and out the door onto the porch.

Margie eyed the impala appreciatively as they stepped outside and Dean smiled a bit at her somewhat dreamy expression. "You know, I could swear I've seen this car before."

The brothers glanced at one another somewhat anxiously. "You have?" Sam asked quietly, almost nervous at what she was going to say. _Had she possibly crossed paths with John at some point?_

"You don't forget girls like this, Sam." That statement made a genuine smile grace Dean's features for the first time in months. He gave a knowing nod at the older woman. "When my husband and I first got married and he was working through his pastoral training, there was a gentleman he worked with on Sundays after church." She paused a moment, trying to remember the name from decades before. "I think it was Sal Moriarty or something like that." Her eyes twinkled a bit. "He'd pick Thomas up after Sunday service and they'd go hand out bibles to the homeless in town, getting folks ready for judgement day." That made the boys smile. "Shame though... he was an alcoholic and he died from a heart attack and my husband always talked about that car of his... how she just purred."

"When we get Riley back," Dean paused and Margie wiped a tear back before meeting his intense green eyes. "I'll bring her back here and let ya take her out for a spin."

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Dean was driving back east from Nashua towards the state park where Riley was, armed with very specific directions. Neither man had spoken after Margie hugged them both goodbye, making them promise to visit if they were ever passing through.

 _"If you give me enough notice, I'll make you a nice dinner." She patted Dean's cheek, noting the sadness in his eyes and the worry lines around the corners. "You boys be safe. Riley's one hell of a girl." Dean forced a small smile; he knew._

Nearly forty five minutes of nervous thumb drumming on the wheel accompanied with radio silence nearly drove Sam insane. He leaned forward before reaching behind his back and pulling out his gun from his waistband to check the chamber.

"Whoa." Dean swerved the car a bit, glancing over at his younger brother. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Making sure it's loaded."

Dean glared out the windshield. "We are _not_ going to Margie's cabin armed with guns."

Sam frowned. "Dean, you don't know..."

"I _do_ know..." He spoke quietly. "We are not walking in there with guns."

Sam smiled suddenly and chuckled. "You know what? I tired to teach Ry how to handle a weapon when you were gone and she refused. Just told me to go to hell... there was no way she wold ever use it on you."

Dean glanced over at his brother. "And I owe her the same respect." He saw Sam give in and he relaxed just a bit, another mile under the tires bringing them closer to the young woman who was bearing the Mark he'd fought against and lost.

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Hey y'all!

Shout outs to jloh217, SaphyraBlu13 and EmilyAnnMcGarrett-Winchester for reviewing chapter 33! You guys make my week!

So... I bet you guys forgot all about Margie by now. She was introduced in chapter 15. ;) I liked tying in her husband Thomas (who baptized Riley) along with Sal, who was the original owner of Baby.

Let me know what you thought of this one. Have a great evening!

CitrineMama


	35. Chapter 35

She stood there in the cold breeze, feeling slightly chilled as the wind rustled through the trees around the cabin, a few leaves blowing around her feet as she gazed across the lake. It was an overcast day and thunder rumbled ominously nearby. Riley could feel the shift in atmosphere around her and she slid her hands in the front pockets of her jeans before she spoke. "You gonna just stand there like a couple a creepers or are you gonna talk to me?"

The hair on both their arms stood up as she spoke softly to them, her back still turned. Dean looked to his brother before taking a few careful steps toward the brunette at the water's edge. "We came to bring you home, Ry." Sam ventured quietly.

She turned to face them, Dean a few feet behind his brother. "Come on in. I'll make us some coffee." Her voice was quiet and calm and the two brothers shared a somewhat apprehensive look before following her into the cabin. "I'm fine." Riley added softly as she stepped through the doorway, noting their nervousness.

Dean and Sam exchanged anxious glances before they followed her inside with some sense of trepidation and she motioned to the table under the window. The pair sat down at the kitchen chairs and watched Riley put on a full pot of coffee, her back to them.

Something was different about her, that much was for sure. Dean couldn't tear his eyes from her as she moved to pull down two mugs from the tiny cabinet. She fixed their coffees the way they liked and brought them to the table before moving to pour herself a mug, leaning against the counter.

"Riley, why'd you do it?" Sam asked quietly.

She smiled, a sad little smile. "You guys needed me to do this. You're the heroes who save people. Not me." Riley paused. "If there was some way for me to help, some way for my life to mean something, this was it."

Dean still hadn't spoken, so Sam plowed forward. "Your life has _always_ meant something."

"To whom?"

Sam looked at her pointedly, then at his brother, who sat staring down at his mug of coffee as the steam rose from it. "To Bobby. To both of us."

"I'm sorry I lied."

"I know."

Riley sipped her coffee and dared a look at the eldest Winchester. He kept his gaze from hers, almost afraid of what he'd see.

"I'm gonna... step outside for a few minutes... call Cas and let him know we found you." Sam rose, sensing the unease between them. "I'll be back in a few." He left his mug there, untouched, before he crossed the kitchen, the deck door closing behind him quietly.

"Dean?" There was a lump in her throat as she spoke his name for the first time in months.

He finally raised those clear green eyes to her imploring gaze and spoke for the first time since getting to the cabin. "Why didn't you tell us? Tell _me?"_

Riley considered that. "If I would've told you my plans to take on the Mark, would you have let me?"

Dean's jaw worked. "Of course not."

"Exactly." Riley shifted a bit, her back still against the counter top. "Dean, I did this for the greater good-,"

 _"Fuck_ the greater good." He shook his head, almost disgusted with her simple answer. "I've been sick about this... _how could you do this?"_

"Don't say that." Riley's voice broke and she set her mug down on the counter, crossing her arms over her chest defensively. "Don't you say that to me."

Dean studied her demeanor before he spoke again, a littler quieter and with less anger this time. "Ry, you didn't have to do this."

"You didn't deserve this." She whispered, her eyes dropping from his to the cedar planking on the floor beneath their feet. "Dean, you know you didn't."

"Ry, when I woke up, I felt so betrayed." He paused. "It was like... all those times you trusted me meant _nothing._ You shared parts of you that were hard to face, but yet you kept _this_ hidden from me?" A tear slipped down her cheek. _"Damnit,_ Riley. That wasn't fuckin' _fair."_

"I know!" She burst out. "I know and I'm _sorry._ I wanted to find some way to save you and when you died," Riley swallowed hard, the wound his death left on her still fresh. "I prayed for a chance to save you. I got that second chance and I wasn't gonna throw it away. I won't apologize for what I did, Dean." Riley's eyes burned into his. "I won't."

Dean looked away for a moment to let his anger simmer down a bit more before he asked quietly. "How's it been?" His eyes moved back to hers, his jaw working as his internal lie detector monitored her reply. "Having the Mark?"

"My skin burned like crazy and I felt hot all the time." Riley admitted quietly. "But within a week, those feeling subsided and I've been... okay."

His brow quirked. "Okay?"

Riley nodded. "It was weird. My appetite kind of dropped off for awhle and then suddenly, I was starving." She gathered her thoughts. "I can feel it inside me, y'know? Like it's just under the surface."

Dean knew. "Are you sleeping?" Her eyes snapped to his and he waited.

"That need sort of left me with the hunger, but only for a little while. Now, I sleep for a few hours at night and then take a nap between breakfast and dinner."

He was looking at her like he didn't believe what she was telling him. "Really." There was a hint of disbelief in his tone that the brunette chose to ignore.

"Dean, I know your basic needs dwindled off. I've had a lot of time up here to process this. I can look back over your... _transition_ and see the things you fought to keep hidden from me and your brother." His ears burned in embarrassment then, not knowing that the two people he cared about most saw him faltering. "I could see the parallels between us, Dean."

He wasn't sure what to say and Riley shifted nervously, watching him take in what she'd said. A long minute passed before he spoke. "Did you know I was coming?"

Riley smiled lightly. "The Mark... it's been tingling for the last three hours and I could feel you getting closer."

Dean finally took a long drink of his coffee. "Have you done anything you regret?" It was a careful question and both knew the underlying meaning.

 _Did you kill anyone?_

 _Is the Mark calling out to you to feed its hunger for blood?_

Tears sting her eyes at the gentle way he put that. "Yes and no."

His jaw worked a bit before he dared to ask, not sure he even wanted to know. "How's that?"

"I hurt two people I love very much." His eyes held hers. "But would I take this from you all over again? Yes."

"It's been three months... took four for me to..." Dean paused there. "How are you okay?"

"I know you know about what my dad did." A nod from him. "It's neutralized things, I think. I really don't know. The only thing I've consistently felt since I got it was loneliness."

"I missed you so much." Dean admitted quietly and a tear slipped down her cheek. "Are you gonna come home?" Hearing him say that made the lump that was forming in her throat even bigger.

"I was planning on staying up here for the next couple weeks before I called you and Sam." Pause. "To make sure I was safe to call you guys... safe to come back to the bunker."

Dean certainly understood that. "Then you'll come home?" Riley didn't miss the way he'd referred to the bunker as her home as well as he and Sam's.

"I promise."

He rose from the table slowly, so not to startle her. She watched him straighten his frame to full height. Dean looked battle worn and tired and they looked at one another for a long moment before Riley crossed the tiny cabin, closing the gap between them and slid her arms around his broad shoulders, burying her face into his neck.

His strong arms locked around her waist and his eyes closed tightly at the feeling of her back in his arms. "Riley," She was crying silently and he could feel the wetness of her tears against his skin. "It's gonna be okay." Dean hugged her tight against him, feeling the tremble of her body against his.

"I missed you so much," Riley breathed and she felt him nod. "Dean, please forgive me. Please understand."

"You're forgiven, sweetheart." Was Dean's reply before he pulled back ever so slightly to rest his forehead against hers. Both their eyes were closed and Riley still had silent tears streaming down her face, weak with relief that they'd come for her. "I'm here." Dean felt Riley nod once.

He tilted his chin upwards slightly, bringing her lips to his for the first time and he could taste the saltiness of her tears on her skin. Riley kissed Dean back, soft and sweet, and he pulled back a tiny bit so he could speak again, his tone a little lower this time, his nose nuzzling against hers. "Don't you _ever_ do anything stupid like that ever again, you hear me?" His lips were close enough to brush hers as he spoke his warning. Dean felt the brunette nod slightly, her eyes still closed, their lips a breath apart.

Sam's familiar, heavy bootfalls on the damp wooden porch made them part and the front door opened cautiously."You guys... alright?" His careful question made Riley nod, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. Sam looked to Dean, who nodded in agreement. Both looked emotionally worn and he understood that. "Sooo, are we headin' home?"

Riley and Dean looked at one another and she shook her head, making Sam's brow furrow. "I need to stay for a couple more weeks, make sure I'm..." Whatever she was going to say, nothing seemed right. _Normal? Safe? Okay?_

The two brothers had a silent, Winchester conversation in front of her and she averted her eyes. "I'm gonna stay with her, Sam." Dean spoke quietly, shocking the two people in front of him.

Riley's gave snapped to his face and Sam looked surprised at his statement. _"What?"_ Riley and Sam spoke simultaneously.

"I'm staying with her." Dean's tone left no room for argument. "Okay? When the three weeks are up, we'll head home." Sam watched Riley look at his brother. "I'll get my bag." Dean left the two of them in the kitchen, staring after him as the door closed.

"Ry?" Sam waited until she looked up to him. "You really okay?" She nodded, her eyes red rimmed with fresh tears. "I'm so glad to see you... you have no idea." It was his turn to hug her tight and she smiled some as she hugged him back. "I expect you and Dean to be home in exactly three weeks." That made her laugh a little at his big brother tone and Sam pressed a kiss to her temple. "Alright? And you're okay with Dean staying here with you?"

"Yeah. Did you wanna stay Sam..."

Sam surprisingly declined her offer. "You guys will be fine. I'll go hold down the fort until you guys get back. Castiel can keep me company." He moved to hug her again and Riley nodded against his chest. "Love you, Riley." She felt him kiss the top of her head.

"Love you too, Sam." She looked up at him. "I'm sorry for making you worry..." There was some degree of uncertainty on her face and he just shook his head, dismissing that. "I never meant..."

"I know. I get it. I do."

The door opened again and Dean came back inside, his duffel in tow over his left shoulder. He and Sam hugged before the younger man left the cabin to walk up the road a little ways to where the impala was parked. They could hear the faint sound of the impala's engine starting up, a sound she could now pick out like a sore thumb.

There was a new awkwardness between Riley and Dean and he set his bag on the table. "You eat dinner yet?" She shook her head. "You wanna go grab something?"

"I've tried to stay here," She spoke softly. "In case..." Dean knew. "Can we take a drive and pick something up?"

"Course we can."

"I just... kinda have stayed away from people. That's why Margie sent me here because it was off season and no one would be around." Riley's voice dropped. Dean's arm came around her shoulders.

"Let's take a drive. Sam and I saw a lounge not far from here. I'll go in and grab us a menu and order us something to go."

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Hey lovely readers!

Shout outs to **SaphyraBlu13** , **jloh217** and **ButterflyAlley** for your reviews on chapter 34! Thanks so much for your feedback! You guys keep me motivated to write. :)

Did you like their emotional reunion? Have a great night!

CitrineMama


	36. Chapter 36

_Dean drove Riley's truck towards Muskie's Lounge in the neighboring town of Ventura. It was only about 5 miles up the highway on route 18, but he suddenly remembered something. It dawned on him that this was the first time he'd driven her truck since last year, when they'd brought her from Bobby's house to the bunker the night she'd showed up there from college._

 _Dean remembered her sass when she'd shoved a finger in his chest and called him a liar when he informed her of Bobby's passing, despite his gun pointed at her. The sad memory made him smile the tiniest bit. He snuck a glance over at the brunette in the passenger seat much like he had several times the night they met, her gaze out her window at the passing scenery._

 _A few minutes later, Dean turned into the gravel lot and pulled his car into a spot up front before shifting into park. His hand stayed on the gearshift for a few seconds before his fingers grazed the keys in the ignition to shut off the engine. Riley saw Dean hesitate before pulling the keys out and jingling them a bit, somewhat nervous. She watched him open his mouth to say something, then close it when he changed his mind. Dean's eyes were focused on the cedar sided building in front of them, his jaw working for a few seconds before he finally spoke."Ry?"_

 _"Yeah?"_

 _Dean closed his eyes for a second, not wanting to piss her off when they'd just gotten her back. "It's not that I don't trust you..." His soft words trailed off._

 _Riley understood. He didn't want her to take off while he was inside. "Take your keys, Dean. I'll be right here." His green eyes met hers and she smiled the tiniest bit before he pushed open his door to get out._

 _It was only a minute or so before Dean was back out the front door with a paper take out menu and he slid back into the driver's seat. Riley slid over the bench seat some over to peer at the menu items. Her mouth watered; she'd been on a diet of cheap pantry staples for three months and she longed for some real food._

 _"It's Friday..." He murmured as the shared the menu between them. "Fried walleye for ten bucks. Comes with a baked potato, slaw and a roll." Her stomach growled loudly and he smirked. "That's what I'm havin'. Wanna share some hot wings?"_

 _"Sounds good to me." Riley settled back against the seat and watched Dean call the restaurant on his cell phone and place their order. They were quiet in the car for several minutes as they waited for their meals, each lost in thought._

"It's actually really beautiful out here." Dean's voice brought Riley back from her daydream as they sat out on the back porch, facing the lake. They were sitting in the Adirondack chairs with mugs of coffee in the drink holders. His strong hands had pulled her bare feet into his lap and rubbed them, his eyes on the smeared sigil, drawn with permanent black marker on the top of her left foot several times over the last few months. "I can see why Margie and her husband spent time up here."

"Dean, why'd you stay?"

"Hm?"

"Why did you stay here?"

His brow wrinkled. "What are you talking about?"

"Why are you staying here with me?"

"Because I wanted to." He sounded confused. His green eyes held hers and she sighed tearfully. "I stayed because I remember what it was like. I did a lot of shit... I'm not real proud of, Ry."

Her chocolate gaze dropped to his lap, where his strong hands held her bare feet, his calloused thumbs were smoothing over the arch of her left foot. His knuckles were scarred and no doubt had an immeasurable amount of blood on them, but she trusted them completely. "I don't know if I want to know..."

Dean's sigh was telling. "I don't wanna tell." Riley nodded.

"I trust you, Dean."

He nodded. "I know you do." They fell quiet for a few minutes before Dean spoke again. "When I saw you'd taken your lamp, there were so many times when I wanted to see if you'd respond."

That made Riley bite her lip. "I kept it in my bag until the other night... I was so scared to reach out to you." His thumbs stopped rubbing for a few seconds.

"You have no idea how incredible it felt to see lamp pop back on and know that you were alright." Dean murmured. A cold breeze blew in off Clear Lake just then, making them both shiver and she pulled the blanket a little tighter around her shoulders. Their eyes met for a few seconds before he patted her calf. "I'm freezing. Let's go inside."

He rose and held out a hand for Riley to take.

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Their leftovers from dinner were in the fridge and Dean watched Riley check both doors to make sure they were locked before she unplugged her cellphone from the charger and turned it back on for the first time since she'd left the bunker. She dialed a number and held it to her ear, her eyes moving to Dean where he was half sitting on the arm of the sofa. His eyes were on her and she dared a tiny smile before he picked up.

"Hey... its me." Pause. "Just wanted to make sure you were okay. You should have stayed overnight."

 _Sam_ , Dean realized.

"We had dinner." Pause. "Me too. Yeah... I love you too Sam." She thumbed off her cellphone and Dean watched her set it back down on the arm of the recliner.

"You two certainly got close while I was gone." Dean commented nonchalantly and for some reason, his comment made Riley blush.

"Dean, I was a freaking mess after you left." She moved to turn on the lamp on the end table in the corner. "I didn't eat, couldn't sleep..." Riley paused, remembering. "He was so good to me, even when I was a brat." A sad smile tugged at her lips. "He told me you'd kick his ass for not taking care of me for you." That made his green eyes twinkle.

"I would've done it too."

"I'm so glad you're home, Dean." Her whisper spoke volumes to the way she felt about everything that had happened in the last year.

The corner of his mouth turned up slightly and she could have sworn his eyes got misty before he spoke. "I'm glad you're still you."

Riley nodded. "I'm gonna go change and brush my teeth." The conversation was getting a bit too emotional for both of them and she needed some space between them right then.

He straightened. "Sounds good." Dean changed in the bathroom after a quick shower while she waited. He brushed his teeth before coming out with his worn clothing to put in his bag in the tiny bedroom and she slipped inside the bathroom, closing the door and he heard the shower water turn on.

He was looking out the window next to the sofa a few minutes later when she came out wearing his old tshirt and some pajama pants. Dean couldn't help the smile on his face. She patted his arm as she walked by and he turned to watch her sit on the sofa, curling her legs up under herself.

Dean sat on the arm of the couch and looked over at her for a few seconds before he spoke. "Hey Ry?"

"Yeah?"

A few more seconds ticked by. "Where is it?"

"The Mark?"

"Yeah." The tshirt she was wearing had short sleeves and it wasn't on her forearms. Dean watched her stand up in front of him and pull the soft cotton up and push the waistband of her pants down a few inches to reveal her left hipbone.

Dean's warm hands moved to her hips instinctively and his right thumb smoothed over the Mark, giving her goosebumps. Riley watched him study her skin before he looked up at her through his dark lashes. "Just another ugly scar, hm?"

Dean saw right through her sarcasm and the casual way she lumped the Mark of Cain right in with her self inflicted scars. His brow wrinkled as she stood there in between his knees and he pulled her a little closer to his body, smoothing her tshirt back down, a frown on his features. "You know damn well that's _not_ true."

Her lower lip trembled the tiniest bit. "Right." Dean pulled Riley into his lap and settled her onto his thigh, hugging her close to him, feeling her tense up just a bit.

"Stop Ry." Dean whispered into her hair. "Why would I think that, hm? Is that would you see when you look at _me?_ At my scars? Just all the guilt, the pain I've endured and the pain I've undoubtedly caused? Is that all _you_ see?"

Riley bit her lip, the night he'd forcefully taken her from the bunker flashing back to her right then. "You know it's not, Dean."

"Then why do you think that's all I see when I look at you?"

 _Because that's all there is,_ she wanted to say.

Dean waited for her dark eyes to meet his, her hands in her lap. "Ry, Sam needs you. _I_ need you. I don't care about whatever crap you carry around as long as you don't carry it alone. None of our hands are clean and nothing is black and white." He saw her throat work to swallow. "Sweetheart, tell me you hear me."

"I hear you." She whispered and he nodded.

spnspnspnspn

Dean stood in the doorway of the only tiny bedroom as Riley pulled back the covers some and looked up at him. "Where do you want me to..."

"With me." The brunette answered without hesitation. He pushed off the doorway and moved inside the bedroom. He'd left the little light on above the stove and he could see her climb into the full sized bed first, against the cedar wall and Dean settled in next to her. "I missed you so much."

"That's because you like to put your cold ass feet on my legs when I'm sleeping," Came his teasing reply. "Don't even lie."

"You're an oven."

"You're an icicle." Riley moved into him, sighing when his heavy arm moved to her waist. Her fingers gripped his tshirt and she breathed in his scent, not caring if he was awake or not this time.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"You kissed me."

"Yeah?"

"Why did you kiss me?"

"Because I wanted to." Was his reply and Riley felt him kiss her forehead. "Go to sleep. I'm right here, babygirl."

Her eyelids fluttered closed and her breathing was deep and even within a couple of minutes, nestled against Dean's chest. Riley's fingers clutched his soft tshirt even though the rest of her was relaxed.

6:04 am

Riley's eyes flew open and she sat up, gasping for breath. She didn't immediately recognize her surroundings and her heart was pounding in her chest. _Margie's cabin. The bedroom._ _I'm in the bedroom._ She tried to slow her breathing for a moment before another thought stuck her. For the three months that she'd been there, Riley had never _once_ slept in the bedroom. She'd always slept on the worn couch, never feeling right about sleeping alone.

 _Why am I in here?_ She thought as she swung her legs over the side, pausing for a second.

 _Dean_.

 _Sam._

 _They'd come for her._

Her dark eyes moved to the empty bedspace next to her and her hand reached out to touch the sheets next to her, expecting the warmth from Dean's body to be there. Instead, she'd come up empty, the coolness of the fabric chilling her to the bone.

 _No._

 _This cannot be happening._

Riley stood up from the bed quickly, feeling lightheaded for a couple seconds. She took a few careful steps to the bedroom's door and peered out into the main living area. It was still dark outside, not a hint of sunrise as of yet on the horizon out the couple of east facing windows in the living room above the sofa. The little light above the stove was still on and the cabin was quiet and there was no sign of Dean, who'd insisted on staying with her.

Her dark eyes frantically scoured the empty sink, praying to see the three coffee mugs the three of them used yesterday. A soft gasp escaped her lips as she found that the sink was empty and water marks had dried on the stainless steel. Riley whirled around to look at the kitchen table where the boys had sat down the evening before. The two kitchen chairs were pushed in neatly and Riley held in a sob.

She took a few steps to her left, to the doorway of the bathroom and peered inside, the tiny nightlight showing her one lone toothbrush on the countertop, the pink one she'd brought from the bunker. Dean's bag and belongings were nowhere to be seen. Riley's fingers gripped the bathroom's cedar door frame as her next thought hit her like a shovel to the face.

 _Fuck,_ she realized. _I'm hallucinating._

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Good evening, my lovelies!

Ahh, love me a cliffhanger.

But only when _I'm_ the one leaving it there, of course. ;)

Shout outs to **SaphyraBlu13** , (I _love_ that you swooned lol) **ButterflyAlley** , **EmilyAnnMcGarrett** - **Winchester, jloh217** and **Momma2Leos** for your reviews! I wish you knew how much it makes me smile when I read these. :)

Have a great week y'all!

CitrineMama


	37. Chapter 37

Sam pulled the USB out of his laptop port and shut it down before replacing the top on the item in between his thumb and forefinger. It was disguised as a little start wars figurine, tucked in the toe of one of Riley's boots in her bedroom. Yeah, he'd done some snooping around her bedroom that evening and found it. Sam couldn't feel guilty about that though.

His mind was reeling with the new information he'd just discovered and he sat back a bit, the wooden chair creaking slightly in protest. Sam turned the figurine over in his hands, studying it, contemplating the words that were on the screen a few seconds before. The information she'd acquired was incredible and the sources she'd cited were unbelievable, to say the least. Bobby must have helped her at some point because Sam swore he'd recognized a couple of the books listed as sources at the bottom of the last page.

He set the figurine down on the table in the war room after making a mental note to replace it where he'd found it when he woke up tomorrow. Sam stretched before rising from the chair and pushing it back under the table neatly. He was feeling a little shaky like his blood sugar was on the low side and he decided to head to the kitchen for a drink. His shadow disappeared down the dimly lit hallway, his footsteps fading.

Castiel fluttered in the bunker a couple seconds later, frowning when he heard only silence. He moved towards the bunker's kitchen and saw Sam yawning in front of the fridge as he pulled out a carton of orange juice. "Hello Sam."

Sam nearly dropped the half empty carton and swore. _"Damnit,_ Cas. You gotta stop sneaking up on people like that,"

The angel frowned even though Sam hadn't turned around. "I apologize, Sam. I wasn't sneaking up on you." His monotone made the other man nod.

"It's fine, Cas." Sam moved to get a glass from the cabinet, frowning when he saw the shelf empty. His hazel gaze moved to the sink, where the sixteen Men of Letters glasses were piled high in the sink along with dozens of dirty bowls, slverware and plates. Nothing had been washed since who knows when and that made his eyes sting a little with tears.

Riley _always_ offered to wash dishes as long as someone dried them, even if she was the one who made the meal. Castiel watched Sam stare at the dirty dishes for a moment, some semblance of sadness etched on his tired features. Dean almost always beat Sam to it, immediately getting up from his spot at the table in the kitchen or in the war room as soon as Riley finished her meal, offering to dry whether or not he was finished eating.

And his brother _hated_ dishes.

"Sam?" Castiel's voice was careful and he saw the man close his eyes for a few seconds, sensing his emotional unease.

Sam set down the orange juice carton on the counter top for a second and opened the spout before raising it to drink straight from the carton. Castiel watched him with great interest. "Why aren't you using a glass, Sam? I thought Dean said it was rude to drink without using a glass."

Sam gulped down a few swallows before wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. "Didn't feel like it." _All the glasses are dirty and Riley isn't there to wash them,_ he wanted to snap at the angel, even though he knew Cas didn't deserve his bitterness.

Castiel nodded in understanding as he watched the other man put the carton away in the fridge and close the door. "You look tired, Sam. You should rest."

"I'm gonna head to bed now. You gonna stick around?"

"Of course. Get some sleep, Sam."

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"You alright?" Sam asked quietly, sensing his brother's unease. He flopped back on his bed and sighed softly, exhaustion tugging at him relentlessly. "Dean? You hear me?"

Dean exhaled through his nose, his eyes closing for a couple beats. "Yeah... yeah, I'm good Sam."

"Sure?"

"Mostly." They were both quiet for a moment, each lost in their own thoughts. "Sam, what if she turns?"

"Dean, don't talk like that." There was a hint of warning in Sam's tone. "Alright?"'

"Can't help it." Dean murmured, the worry he felt lacing his tone. "I can't lose her again." His emotional words made Sam smile softly. "After all the shit me and her have been through this last year... I won't lose her again."

"We won't lose her." The younger man's confident reply made Dean's chest swell some with relief, extremely grateful that his brother was holding onto enough faith for the both of them.

Another few seconds of silence ticked by before the older man changed the subject to something more positive. "She slept last night Sam. Peacefully. I _never_ did." Dean fought back a yawn.

On the other end of the phone, Sam yawned as well. "Cas just got here a little while ago. Listen, if anything... _anything_ seems off with her, you call him. You hear me, Dean?"

That comment made Dean's eyes close as he suddenly remembered going back to the bunker to kill his own brother and finding Riley there alone. He'd basically forced her from the bunker and kidnapped her until fate stepped in and restrained the darkness in his soul long enough for both he and Riley to be saved by Sam and Castiel at the hotel where he'd taken her. "Sammy, you know I didn't mean anything... I'm sorry about..." His voice broke some and his words trailed off into the silence of the early morning.

Sam knew his brother still carried the guilt and shame from that whole night regarding his actions towards Riley as well as his sinister intentions regarding his little brother. "I know, Dean." Was the quiet reply that came from Sam. "I'll check in with you guys in a couple hours. I'm gonna try and get some sleep."

"Alright. Later, brother."

He was just getting ready to thumb off the phone when he heard "Dean?" Sam's voice was careful.

"Yeah?" His ears were perked now.

"When I got back, I kinda snooped around in Riley's room..."

Dean almost didn't want to ask. "Yeah?"

"It just bugs me how much she knew about the Mark. I mean, me and you and Cas have done _months_ of research and she pulled this off herself in a few weeks?"

"I really don't know, Sam." Dean suddenly sounded tired.

Sam closed his eyes briefly before his next words. "Dean, I looked on my laptop after I found a USB drive in her one of her shoes. It was her thesis."

"The hell's a thesis, college boy?" There was a hint of brotherly teasing there, something they hadn't done in months.

"Yeah. In their last year, students specialize in a subject. Remember she was a biblical studies major? They get assigned a secondary subject that was skimmed over in class to do further research on."

The older man's throat worked to swallow as his tired mind worked to process that new information. "Let me guess..." His tone was dry. "Fuckin' Mark of Cain."

"I don't think it's a coincidence that she got this assigned to her."

"Agreed." Dean paused on the other end, his mind racing with some anxiety. "Listen, let's wait for that, hm? I'm not asking her about it until we get back home. I'm not losing her again, Sam."

"That's fair." Sam smiled a tiny bit on his end. "Night, brother."

"I'll check in this afternoon sometime." Dean thumbed off his cell phone and stared out through the darkness at the lake until he heard something inside the cabin. He rose and his bare feet padded over the back deck and he slid open the door to reveal Riley, sobbing quietly in the doorway of the bedroom, down on her knees. "Hey, sweetheart... what's going on?"

His voice seemed to startle her and Riley gasped as she looked up, her eyes meeting his. "Dean." He nodded and knelt next to her, pulling her close to the warmth of his body. "I woke up and you were gone. The coffee mugs... I- I thought-,"

"I'm here." The deep timbre of Dean's voice made her eyes close tightly. "Easy, Ry. I was outside on the phone with Sam. Didn't wanna wake you." He felt her nod. "I was sitting on the back steps. Just wanted to make sure he got home okay."

"I thought I was dreaming you here." She whispered brokenly.

Dean's sleepy half smile was easy. "I'm very much here." He helped her to her feet, her legs unsteady beneath her. His hand came up to smooth her sleep tousled hair back before cupping her cheek. He leaned in to kiss her forehead before hugging Riley close. "You're shaking."

"I thought I was hallucinating." She murmured softly and his eyes closed, his brow wrinkling just the tiniest bit at her words. "Your bag was gone, the coffee mugs weren't in the sink..."

"My bag's in the bedroom closet. I washed the mugs and put them away." Dean spoke quietly. "I'm _here,_ Riley." He felt her nod silently. "Why are you up so early?"

"I was dreaming and I woke up and you were gone."

His green eyes caught her gaze when he let her go some. "I'm here. I ain't goin' _anywhere_ without you, sweetheart." His calloused hands cupped her cheeks and her small hands moved to his toned forearms. "You get me?" A nod from the brunette and he nodded. "Listen, Sam just got home a little while ago and he called me. Let's get you back to bed, hm?"

"Are you gonna lay with me?"

"Yeah, of course." Dean hugged her to him again, his chin on the top of her head. "C'mon." He led her back into the bedroom after locking the back door.

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Hello all!

Special thank yous to **SaphyraBlu13, jloh217, ButterflyAlley, EmilyAnnMcgarrett-Winchester, Momma2Leos, KittyBear98, Dimac.31** and **lizzy-marie0623** for your reviews! You guys rock!

So... Out of all the subjects/stories that Riley must have studied during her time in Decorah, Iowa, while she was earning her minor in biblical studies, she got assigned the subject of the Mark of Cain.

Coincidence?

Leave me a review! Have a great night!

CitrineMama


	38. Chapter 38

Riley and Dean had eaten breakfast and decided to take a walk around the lake. The weather was slightly overcast, but it wasn't uncommon for mid April to be sort of gloomy. They walked in a comfortable silence and after his knuckles brushed hers for the dozenth time, she felt his fingers slide into hers, their leisurely pace matching the way the way their relationship started.

Riley snuck a glance up at Dean and saw his attention focused on the water to his left and the leaves rustled along their feet. No matter what situation they were in, she always felt safe beside Dean, knowing he would keep her from harm. He flexed his fingers in hers just a bit before his grip on them tightened a little in a reassuring squeeze, as if he could sense the thoughts swirling around in her head.

"it's gonna pour..." He murmured after they'd walked in silence for the last twenty minutes. Riley blinked and suddenly noticed the mid morning sky had darkened considerably. Her thoughts and attention were completely enveloped in the man next to her. As if on cue, thunder rumbled ominously nearby and he felt her grip his hand a little tighter. "We should probably head-," His words were cut off by a sudden downpour and Riley let out a surprised cry.

"Run!" She managed, her giggles starting and Dean tugging on her hand. His strides were longer than hers and the pair ran along the water's edge hand in hand, the downpour soaking them in a matter of minutes. Dean was laughing at Riley was they booked it back to the house, their shoes squelching in the puddles that quickly formed in the soft earth. Her dark brown hair was plastered to the sides of her head and their wet clothes clung to them, goosebumps forming on their skin.

Lightning struck nearby and this time, the thunder was closer. "C'mon Ry." They reached the back porch facing Clear Lake in a couple of minutes. Dean was laughing softly and Riley was smiling up at him as his hands found the railing. "Holy crap, that storm snuck right up on us." Their breathing was coming in pants after their unexpected jog.

"Sure did." Her brown eyes held his and she wrung out her wet hair over her right shoulder. "We look like a couple a drowned rats." Dean chuckled as he watched her. He shrugged off his flannel and wrung it out before tossing it over the railing. Her eyes couldn't help but to move over his form, the gray tshirt he was wearing was now drenched and clinging to him in a way that made her mind slide straight into the gutter.

His green eyes moved to hers as the rain picked up, the metal roof above them giving off a steady thrum. He recognized the longing in her eyes and waited for her to say something. Riley's lips parted to speak, but no words would come and she clamped her jaw shut. Dean's expression was a mixture of amused and something else she didn't recognize.

She let go of her wet hair and moved to where he'd placed his flannel over the wooden railing. Riley picked up the article of clothing and spoke softly, her dark eyes downcast. "Dean?" The atmosphere between them shifted to a more serious one.

"Sweetheart?"

"Thanks for coming for me."

A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "You would've done the same for me. You saved me, Riley."

The brunette smiled a little before looking up at him. "Are we gonna argue about who saved who, here?" He knew exactly what she meant and Dean reached out for her hand, tugging her closer to him. Her breath caught in her throat and he heard it.

"Arguing with you is the last thing on my mind." There was something new in his voice now and her eyes snapped to his.

"Yeah?"

"Definitely." There was a mischievous twinkle in his dark green eyes and her index finger developed a mind of its own, sliding into one of his belt loops as she gazed up at him.

The sopping wet flannel of his that Riley was holding slipped from her fingers and hit the wooden porch and her arms were around his neck and his mouth on hers. His warm hands on her hips scorched her skin right through her wet jeans and she moaned softly.

Dean's lips left hers temporarily and she shimmied her own button up flannel off she shoulders and he tugged her tank top up and off to reveal her bra. Her roving hands shoved his tshirt upward and he slipped it up and off before their bodies pressed together again. They still had goosebumps from being caught in the sudden downpour, but now the goosebumps existed for an entirely different reason.

His mouth moved across hers with precision and Riley broke the kiss suddenly, panting for breath. "We should go inside."

"There's no one," Dean stole another kiss. "Around for miles." Her eyes fluttered closed at the hint of his exhibitionist side; sex with Dean Winchester in the pouring rain? Outside where they might be caught?

 _Fucking sign her up._

"Dean," Riley moaned softly when his lips left hers to move to her neck and her head lolled to the left, allowing him easier access. "I want..."

He didn't have to ask her what she wanted; she was showing him. Her torso was pressed against his and Riley felt his deft fingers leave her hips to unsnap her bra. Riley felt the release and moved back so the item could fall to the porch at their feet. He groaned softly when he felt her body move back into his. Riley shivered against him, the combination of being this exposed outside and the rain pouring down around them turning her on more than she'd ever care to admit.

Dean lifted her onto the railing, Riley's thighs around his hips, his want for her apparent. He pulled back just a bit to look at her and she blushed shyly. He cupped her right breast in his left hand, his thumb smoothing over her overly sensitive nipple. His eyes moved from his thumb to her eyes and her lips were parted slightly. "Dean, please... don't tease me." His mouth was on her neck again, her arms sliding around his neck as her eyes fluttered closed.

His warm hands pulled her even closer to him, if that were even possible. Riley's hands roved over his upper chest and across his muscled shoulders, built and sculpted from years of hunting and grave digging. "I'm not." Was his whisper before he nipped at her earlobe. "Tell me what you need from me." Were his next words and Riley thought that those words were probably the sexiest thing he could have said right then.

"I need," Riley nuzzled his scruff before whispering his ear. "You to take me inside and get me off until I can't even remember my own name." She yelped out in surprise when Dean hoisted her off the railing and carried her into the cabin, kicking the kitchen door closed behind him. "Shower, " Riley moaned softly, a shiver overtaking her body right then.

Dean didn't ask anything else, just carried her in the tiny bathroom before letting her down and undressing her the rest of the way. He turned on the hot water before undressing himself. Riley's eyes moved over his form and she bit back a moan at the sight of him naked in front of her as he tested the water. "In. _Now."_

She got in and turned to face him as he yanked the curtain shut before his lips crashed onto hers. Any thoughts of moving too fast were being overwhelmed with the need for more of him in any way possible. Riley felt his hand smooth between her thighs and she spoke. "I need you, Dean."

He squatted slightly and lifted her again, pinning her against the cool shower tiles and holding her there with his weight as her thighs wrapped around his hips. Riley moaned softly when she felt him pressing against her core when he suddenly froze. His entire body tensed up and she felt his hesitation. "Dean?" He didn't answer right away and she pushed back a little to look in his eyes, one arm around his strong shoulders and her other hand sliding out of his wet hair and cupping his stubbled cheek. "Dean?"

"I can't." Was his broken reply. "We can't. I just remembered the hotel... when I took you..."

"No." Riley whispered, his forehead moving to touch hers as his eyes closed. "We're done with that. This is now."

Dean fought his internal battle. "How could you want this with me after that?"

"Please," She whispered as the water rained over them, his eyes still closed. "I don't know if I'll ever truly know what peace feels like, but I swear to you, Dean Winchester, being with you... feels like home." That made his green eyes open and she could see the blatant difference between the shower water and the tears in his eyes.

"You sure?" He still felt compelled to ask for her permission, but the truth was, he never had to ask. Dean Winchester wasn't sure he even deserved to be loved, but the more broken he was, the more she cared for him. Riley nodded eagerly, her forehead against his again and she felt the stretch as he slid into her for the first time.

"Don't be gentle with me." She whispered, gripping his hair as she spoke. "I don't want you to make love to me." Dean paused and green met brown. Their eyes, half lidded with lust, held one anothers for a few seconds before he gave her what she was asking for. Riley felt the first orgasm rip through her as his movements created a delicious amount of friction between his pubic bone and hers.

Dean pulled out of her suddenly and let her down gently. "Let's get out of here and do this someplace else, Ry." They washed up a bit before getting out of the shower, drying off quietly. His fingers found hers and he tugged her out of the bathroom and next door into the bedroom. They fell onto the tangled bedding together, kissing lazily and sharing shy smiles and touches.

Dean rolled them over so they were laying on their sides facing each other and his right hand pulled her calf up over his hip to grant him easier access to her. His green eyes watched Riley's expression as he slid into her again, making her eyes flutter closed. "Fuck, you feel so good." He whispered and she gripped his bicep as he hit that spot inside her. "You gonna get off one more time for me, sweetheart?"

 _"Dean,"_ Was all she could manage before he rolled them a bit more so she was astraddle his hips, still buried inside her. Dean's tongue snuck out and wet his lips as he gazed up at her, on top of him like this. Her breasts were heaving up and down as she fought for breath, her dark eyes half lidded. He groaned when he felt her tighten her pelvic muscles and she smirked a bit.

Dean's left hand snaked down smooth over the reddish brown Mark on her hip, his eyes following the movement. Green met brown for a moment and his expression softened a bit before Dean's hand moved to thumb her right where they were connected and she gasped. It was his turn to smirk and she rocked back a forth a bit, her tangled wet hair dripping down on both of them. "Ry," Dean whispered and she nodded, leaning forward a bit to brace her hands on the headboard as she rode him hard. He captured a nipple between his lips and suckled her gently before turning his attention to the other one.

"Mmhm," Riley moaned softly as she felt herself tightening up again, wondering how she could possibly get off a third time... until Dean bit down gently on her left nipple and pressed on her clit with his calloused thumb and coaxed one right out of her. He chuckled softly as she tightened around him, fueling his own release and he rolled her over onto her back to ride it out.

Riley was laying there, one of her hands tangled in her hair as she fought to catch her breath. He leaned in to kiss her again and her eyes fluttered closed, suddenly exhausted. Dean chuckled softly as he watched her roll over into him and sigh softly, her arm snaking around his waist. A few seconds ticked by and he felt her twitch before relaxing completely against him. He pressed a kiss to her wet hair and lay there for a few more minutes before getting up to use the bathroom.

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Riley woke up a few hours later, slightly confused as to the time of day it was and rolled over to look out the window. It was still raining and she frowned for a moment, trying to clear the fog from her brain and remember why she would be in bed... until she shifted some more and felt the little bit of tackiness between her thighs.

 _Dean._

Her eyes went to the closet where his bag was sitting on the floor, outside the closet this time. He'd left it in view, not wanting her to think he'd been a hallucination. Riley smiled a little at the thought and pushed off the mattress to sit up. She yawned softly before wrapping the tangled sheet around herself before exiting the bedroom, heading for the bathroom.

She looked out the tiny kitchen window and saw Dean sitting on one of the adirondak chairs, his feet up on the railing and his right hand holding his cell phone to his ear. Riley turned on the hot water and got into the shower. Her thighs felt deliciously sore from the morning's events and she blushed at the thought of Dean being with her like that.

Dean had rung out their wet clothing and hung it on the towel bars in the bathroom to dry and Riley smiled at his thoughtfulness. All those nights over the last year, they'd shared his bed and never had that line been crossed. Not that she hadn't thought about it though, to be honest. Riley and Dean were both broken in different ways and shared an understanding that no one else could. She cranked the water back off and toweled off with the damp bath towel he'd undoubtedly used and went back to the bedroom to put on some warm clothes.

She was pulling a long sleeved tshirt on after tugging her leggings up when she heard the back door open. "Yeah, we're fine. You tell him I said hey and be safe, y'hear? Alright. Call me tonight... I don't care what time it is. I wanna know you guys made it back safe." Riley heard Dean set his phone down on the counter top and pull open the refrigerator. Riley tugged a comb through her damp hair and set it on the nightstand before moving to the doorway.

Dean was leaning over, peering into the fridge as she leaned against the doorway, watching him. "Kinda creepy when you just standing there staring at my ass, Riley." His senses were refined after years as a hunter and her sneaking up on him was not a possibility.

That made her laugh, the tension leaving her chest. "Shut up." She moved into the kitchen and gave that ass a playful swat. He chuckled as he straightened, the leftovers from the day before in hand. "Was that Sam?"

"Yeah... goin' on a case with Cas and this other guy we know." He studied her for signs of regret, but came up empty. "Wanna share this?" It was the wings and french fries from the night before and she shook her head. Dean opened the container, not even bothering to warm anything up. Riley smiled as she crossed the kitchen to be closer to him and he leaned in to press a kiss to her lips. Dean felt her smile against his mouth.

"You enjoy. I'm fine." She murmured and they parted before he tugged her towards the couch, the styrofoam container in one hand, hers in the other.

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Hey y'all!

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Got away from me there and I couldn't believe the word count lol.

To **jloh217** , **SaphyraBlu13, EmilyAnnMcGarrett-Winchester** and two unsigned **guests** \- thanks for your reviews... and egging me on. ;)

Have a fantastic week!

CitrineMama


	39. Chapter 39

Dean tugged on the doorknob once more before turning to Riley, satisfied that the cabin was secure before they left. The worn key was threaded carefully onto her key ring with her truck key, Bobby's house key and her faded pink flamingo keychain from Myrtle Beach. His green eyes raised to hers. "Ready to go home?" There wasn't that same trepidation there'd been a few weeks before and Riley smiled up at him.

"More than ready." Her hand slipped into the crook of his arm and they stepped down off the wooden porch. Dean walked her around to her side of the truck and opened the passenger door for her to get inside. He studied her closely after she'd slid onto the bench seat and she quirked an eyebrow at his expression. "What?"

"Nothin'," He leaned in to kiss her sweetly before stepping back to close her door. Riley watched Dean in her rearview mirror walk around to the bed of her truck where their bags were secured and he tested the ties downs once more to be sure before he moved around to the driver's side door.

The door creaked as he pulled it open and he was humming softly when he pulled the door shut. Dean turned over the engine and glanced at their fuel gauge on the truck's dash. "Gas station around here?"

"Not far from the grocery store."

Dean pulled out of the spot in the gravel next to the porch and she turned to watch the cabin fade from her sight, hoping she'd get a chance to come back there sometime. Dean watched Riley's gaze and he couldn't help but to smile a little to himself. He reached out to turn on her radio and she settled back down into her seat, reached to her right to pull on her seat belt.

Soft country came through her speakers and the brunette looked over, seeing his little side smile his eyes on the road ahead. _"Dean?"_ There was a sense of surprise in her soft tone.

"Kinda grew on me."

Another mile rolled on underneath the tires of the old truck before she spoke. "Since when?"

Dean glanced over at her, his eyes twinkling. "Since the night I drove you home to the bunker from Bobby's house." Riley felt her throat get tight with emotion and the irony of the long ride home wasn't lost on her. It wasn't long before her breath was fogging up the glass of the passenger window and she was asleep against it, the fading sunset in the west.

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Dean followed Riley downstairs after pulling the iron door closed behind him, the noise echoing through the bunker. "Sammy? We're home." He called and he heard footsteps coming down the hallway. Riley reached the bottom of the stairs and set her bag down before finding herself being swept up into Sam's arms in a warm hug and she felt tears escape as he lifted her up for a few seconds. _"Sam,"_ Riley's whisper was hoarse and he only nodded in response, too choked up to reply.

"I know." Was all he whispered back. A small smile tugged at the corner of Dean's mouth as he watched the pair in front of him let go of the immeasurable sadness and anger they'd shared when Dean was gone. Riley spoke softly to the other man she'd grown so close to in the last year, her nose in his hair and Sam nodded again before releasing her a bit.

Her shoes touched the floor again as he let her down from the embrace, his hands moving to cup her face as he looked into her eyes. Riley smiled through her tears, her hands on his forearms. "I'm so glad you're home." She nodded and Sam looked to Dean. "Hey brother."

"Heya Sam." Sam moved to hug his older brother and Riley watched their happy reunion. She picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder. Dean and Sam parted and Riley's eyes found Dean's.

"I'm gonna go unpack and shower."

"Yeah, sounds good." Both men watched as Riley left them heading towards her bedroom. Sam looked to Dean, who was still watching her retreat.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?" Green snapped to hazel.

"She okay?"

"Yeah."

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

Sam's jaw worked a bit. "You two... seem different." He ventured carefully.

Dean shifted the bag in his hand. "We had a lot of time to talk over the last few weeks."

"Yeah?" He waited for the elaboration.

"Yeah... I think we're in a good place." Pause. "She wants to talk to Cas... apologize for making him lie to us." That made Sam smile. "Sam, I know I stayed at the cabin and that wasn't the plan..."

Sam waved him off. "Dean, I get it. I just didn't want you to be in some situation that you couldn't handle." That earned him a mock glare. "I meant, that you would have to protect yourself against Riley or the Mark."

"Riley and I... we're fine." The way he said that made Sam frown. "So let that go." Dean started to walk away from Sam until his voice called out softly.

"Did something happen up there? At the cabin?" Dean stopped his retreat towards the sleeping quarters. "Dean?"

"A lot of things happened." Was all Dean spoke before he disappeared into the hallway.

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Riley had showered in the shared bathroom, staying in a little longer than necessary. The lukewarm dribble of water from the cabin by Clear Lake didn't hold a candle to the seemingly unlimited hot water supply to the bunker's shower. Her body wash was still in the shower from four months before and that made her smile; both boys had held onto hope that she'd be home to use it.

Riley eventually pulled the towel hanging on the towel rack into the shower with her to dry off. She wrapped it around her torso and stepped out to comb her hair. She stepped up to the mirror and studied her reflection for a few seconds before a knock on the door startled her. "Just a minute."

Riley tightened her towel and pulled open the door. Sam was standing there, en easy smile on his features. "Hey. Anything special you want for dinner?"

"Pizza would be great."

"You sure? I can make up some pasta or something."

"Pizza'a great, Sammy. Really." She smiled up at him before slipping by him and heading down the hall towards her bedroom.

She halted in the doorway when she saw Dean had carefully unpacked her bag. The last thing he'd done was set her friendship lamp on her nightstand.

 _Where it belonged._

"Thank you." Her voice was quiet and he turned to look at her. Riley suddenly felt shy under his gaze and she felt a blush color her cheeks as the thoughts of them alone together washed over her again. "Sam's gettin' pizza for dinner."

"Mm." He hummed and she moved to her closet to pull some clothing off the rack. "I unpacked all your stuff... but I wasn't sure if you wanted it here... or someplace _else."_ That made her heart skip a beat. Dean watched her ponder that. "I'm gonna make us some coffee while Sam gets dinner." He moved by the brunette, pressing a warm kiss to her temple before disappearing down the hallway. He could feel Riley staring after him and he smiled a bit to himself.

In fact, he was still smiling when he walked into the kitchen to put on some coffee. Sam was standing there on his cell phone. He did a double take of his older brother, a secret little smile on Dean's mouth as he pulled out the coffee filters. "Yeah, two large pizzas, one meat special and the other's a veggie supreme." His eyes never left his brother as he scooped some coffee ground from the tin on the counter. "Pick up." Sam paused. "Sounds great. See you in thirty." He hung up his cell phone. "Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"You alright?"

"Course." The older man clicked on the warmer. He turned to see Sam staring at him, unconvinced. "What?"

"You look... happy."

Dean's brow wrinkled. "Is that a crime?"

Sam smirked. "No."

"What then?"

"Nothin'." He clapped a hand on his brother's shoulder as he passed by him. "I'm heading out to pick up the food. I'll be back in a bit."

"We'll be here." Sam didn't miss the way his brother kept using we when referring to himself and Riley. He left a moment later and Dean heard the impala start up and he looked up for a second before he headed back down to Riley's room.

He stood in the doorway quietly, watching her slip on a flannel over her tank top and jeans. Her back was to him and she spoke softly. "Dean?" Riley could feel his presence. "Sam leave?"

"Mmhm."

The brunette turned to him and spoke quietly. "Look, I wanna talk about us."

Dean stepped inside and crossed her room to sit on her bed. "What about?"

"I feel like Sam should know."

He worried the inside of his bottom lip nervously. "I know."

Riley watched him. "I'm done with the secrets and doing things behind each other's backs."

Dean certainly understood that. "You're right." He reached out to her and she moved in between his knees. She leaned in to kiss him and his warm hands moved to her hips. "You're always right." He could feel her smile against his mouth. Riley pushed him back gently and he groaned in appreciation when she straddled his hips.

"How long until your brother," Riley kissed him, settling onto his denim clad hips, feeling him getting hard beneath her. "Gets back?"

"Half hour or so." He grunted, his hands smoothing her tank top up. "Take this off."

"So bossy."

"C'mon..." Dean actually whined. "I missed you."

That made her giggle and her intrusive hands undid his belt buckle before her fingers dipped inside the waistband of his underwear teasingly. His skin was surprisingly soft against her fingertips. "You've been with me for three weeks straight."

His eyes fluttered closed and she watched him as she ran her left thumb over his right hipbone before splaying her small hands over the slight bit of pudge below his belly button that she'd secretly grown to adore. It was the only soft thing about this amazing man besides his heart. "You better make it quick then, Winchester."

Her weight left his hips momentarily and his green eyes opened, half lidded as he watched her shimmy off her jeans and tug his down some to free him from the restrictive fabric. "It will be." Riley moved over him and Dean's eyes fluttered shut as she took him in, warm and wet and wanting. "Fuck." She rode him slow, watching the wrinkle between his brows deepen. "You don't know what you do to me." He murmured and she smirked before tightening around him, making him grunt. "The first time I saw you, you were all pissed off and pointing at me and shoving my gun outta your face... man were you hot."

Riley giggled and picked up the pace a bit, enjoying his filterless confession. "Was not."

"Was too, sweetheart." Dean opened his eyes then and his fingers dug into her hips and he lifted his to meet her eagerly, bringing them both to the edge together. Riley felt him let go inside her, twitching deliciously and letting out a contented sigh before opening his slightly glazed over eyes. "Did you..?"

"No."

"Fuck." A look of disappointment washed over his features. "I'm sorry."

Riley leaned forward to kiss him before sliding off him, reaching for the tissues to clean herself up a bit. "It's not always about that, you know."

Dean sat up on the edge of the bed and she bent over to pick up her jeans. "I'm gonna hop in the shower... wanna join me?"

"Just had one not even an hour ago."

Dean gave her a puppy dog look. "Make it up to you?"

Riley considered that for about half a second.

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A/N:

Guys, I apologize for the lack of updating. Horrible anxiety this last week and couldn't focus on _anything_. Please forgive me.

Thank you to **jloh217, ButterflyAlley, jennhopp12, EmilyAnnMcGarrett-Winchester, SaphyraBlue13** and **Dimac.31** for your reviews on the last chapter!

 **SaphyraBlu13** , the pudge under Dean's belly button was _especially_ for you! ;)

Have a wonderful week!

CitrineMama


	40. Chapter 40

Dean was showering when Sam came back to find Riley sitting in the kitchen with a mug of coffee when he jogged down the stairs from the garage, carrying the two pizzas and a six pack. "Hey. Hope you're hungry."

Riley smiled as he set everything down at the table. "I am. Dean's in the shower." Sam's eyes snapped to hers and he straightened. The look on Sam's face was unreadable and she got up from the table. "I washed the dishes while you were gone... looked like they hadn't been done in awhile." She didn't miss the way his face fell slightly at her words, but she chose not to comment.

"Thanks honey... I was gonna get to that." He murmured softly and she didn't reply. Sam's eyes were on her as she moved towards the cabinet to get three plates. "Ry?"

"Yeah?"

His jaw worked a bit, just like Dean's did when he was anxious about something. "Can I... ask you something?"

He didn't miss the subtle way her tense shoulders relaxed a bit despite knowing what was coming. "Of course you can." Riley reached up and pulled three white plates down and closed the cabinet door, turning to face the music. Sam sighed and gathered his thoughts while Riley watched him get nervous, thankful she wasn't the only one.

"I know you and my brother care about each other..." He began quietly and she nodded as she moved past him back to the table. "Did something happen between you guys? Up at the cabin?" Sam turned to watched her walk by him.

Riley sat back down slowly, the small stack of plates in front of her. She sighed softly, a slight blush covering her cheeks as her eyeline remained downcast this time, not wanting to see anything remotely related to disappointment or sympathy in his hazel eyes. "Are you mad, Sam?"

Sam's expression softened, even though she wasn't looking at him. "Riley, of course not." He sat down across from her and she dared a glance at him. "I'm going to assume... you two..." She blushed and a grin smoothed over his mouth at her shyness. "I'm not sure if you even remember, you told me a long time ago when Dean... was _gone..._ that you loved him." Sam chuckled at her shyness. "Whatever you two have between you.. must be something pretty amazing."

She nodded slightly, a small smile on her mouth. "Yeah, it is."

"I'm glad, Riley." Sam reached out and her eyes met his this time as he squeezed her fingers gently in his. "I'm so glad."

Dean came out a few minutes later and slid in next to Sam and the trio polished of several pieces of pizza quietly, lost in thought until Sam spoke up. "So now that we're all home..." The atmosphere shifted then and they each felt it.

Dean immediately looked to the brunette across from Sam. "Yeah?"

"I want us all to be honest." Pause. "I'll go first."

Dean's brow wrinkled and he set down his beer bottle. _"Yeah?"_ His tone was suspicious and Riley looked confused.

"When you guys were at the cabin the last couple weeks, I might have snooped in your room, Riley."

Her eyes narrowed. _"Might_ have?"

"Okay I definitely did." Dean closed his eyes for a few seconds, knowing what was coming.

"Sam, could we not do this right now?" Riley's gaze shifted from Sam to the man next to him, suddenly suspicious of the man she'd opened her heart to for the last year.

Sam and Dean had a silent conversation for a few seconds that consisted of a couple quirked eyebrows and jaw clenches. "Do _what_ right now, Dean?" His mouth opened to answer, then snapped back shut at her glare. Riley pushed her plate back a few inches, clearly pissed. "And _why_ would you go through my things, Sam?"

"Because it bothered me how much you knew about the Mark."

She smirked. "All's you had to do was ask. I did my thesis on it." Sam and Dean exchanged glances. "It's on a thumb drive in my room."

"I found it." His tone was guilty. "What I _don't_ understand is how you got that subject out of all the biblical topics and character studies you could have done, you did your thesis on the Mark of Cain." Sam's tone was slightly accusing and she didn't appreciate _that_ one bit.

"I didn't pick the topic." Riley's voice was shaking now. "It was assigned to me by the TA."

Sam's hazel eyes narrowed a bit at her simple explanation. That seemed too easy.

Dean knew she was getting really pissed at this point and finally interrupted once again. "Guys, maybe we should talk about something else..." Both gave him an equally dirty look. "Like, _hey,_ Riley and I are-,"

"He knows." She said flatly. "I already told him." Dean looked at his little brother. "So what _exactly_ are you accusing me of, Sam?"

"Nothing... I just find it awfully coincidental." Sam's reason was spoken quietly.

"I know." Pause. "Before you guys showed up at Margie's cabin, I had _three months_ to really think about just how perfectly everything lined up... me knowing Bobby, my dad being a hunter and knowing your dad." She got up to pace nervously, both sets of eyes on her. "And how my father exposed me to holy blood as a baby to protect me from the bad shit he hunted only to come to find out that my blood _somehow_ calmed the darkness inside of the Mark's wearer."

Dean sat back a bit. "Ry?"

"And to actually come across the _one_ person on the earth who was bearing the Mark? Wow, shoulda bought a lottery ticket. What are the freakin' odds?"

Sam let out the breath he'd been holding. "Who was your teacher's assistant?"

"I can't even remember his name anymore." Pause. "I'm sorry I lied to you guys, but I'm _not_ apologizing for taking the Mark."

"Okay." Sam nodded at her speech. Riley stopped pacing. "I'm sorry, Ry. I wasn't accusing you of anything... this whole thing just blows my mind, ya know?"

"Me too. It's like my life was decided for me _way_ before I could even make any of my own choices, y'know? As a baby, guys... My entire life was decided for me whether I liked it or not. Do you two have any _idea_ what that feels-?" Her voice broke and she was scooped up in Dean's strong arms before she could get out the last word. The brunette was crying softly and the two men shared a sympathetic look over the top of her head.

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"She's asleep." Dean reentered the war room and Sam and Cas were there at the table. "So now what guys? Where do we even go from here?" He slid into the seat next to Castiel, across from his brother. Sam plucked a beer out of the cardboard six pack and slid it across the table to his brothers waiting palm.

Dean's eyes narrowed slightly as Sam and Castiel shared a somewhat concerned look. "We think... someone planned this."

"Okay... I'll bite." The older man twisted off the cap to his beer before raising the amber glassed bottle to his pouty lips. "Who?" He took a healthy swig.

"Maybe the angels?" Castiel offered quietly and Dean swished the beer around in his mouth before swallowing. "They would potentially have a huge interest in the Mark ending up on Riley." Sam saw his brother roll his eyes flippantly at the simple explanation.

"Yeah, so would anyone else. The whole friggin' purpose of the Mark in the very beginning was to keep the darkness locked away. If Ry would've removed it from me instead of transferring it to herself, we would be in a very different situation." Dean spat, clearly upset. "I don't think this is just some favor someone arranged out of the goodness of their heart almost thirty years ago."

"Yeah I agree. I hate to say it, Cas, but it just doesn't seem like the angels would be doing _us_ a favor." Sam smiled sadly at Castiel. "No offense." Dean took another drink of his beer, watching them.

"I cannot say I disagree with that statement, Sam. I very much doubt the angels would interfere this much." Castiel sighed, his gaze moving to the hallway for a moment where Riley was in the sleeping quarters. "What now?"

Sam held his hands up. "I don't know. Do we just chalk this one up for a win? It's been four months and she hasn't turned." Riley turning darkside was seemingly no longer a touchy subject between the brothers and Castiel's blue eyes moved from Sam to Dean when those words were spoken.

Dean spoke up then, moving his fist away from his mouth. "You guys are still forgetting one thing, though." The other two men looked over at him. "Yeah, she's in control. But what about if she dies with that Mark, what happens then, hm?" His tone was a mix of irritated and frustrated, the slight headache behind his eyes getting a little worse with his worries.

"We should keep her here, where she's safe, until we find out." Castiel stated and Dean rolled his eyes.

"She's not gonna like that."

"She doesn't have to like it." Sam spoke up softy. "She just has to be safe."

The older man guzzled the rest of his beer, feeling the start of a buzz, something he hadn't felt in a long, _long_ time. He set the bottle down on the table just a little too hard before he spoke gruffly. "I'm goin' to bed." He pushed back from the table and rose from the chair. "Riley wants to talk to you in the morning, Cas."

"I will be here." Castiel's words were accompanied by a single nod and Dean sighed. "Goodnight, Dean." He gave a half hearted two fingered wave to the two men at the table before heading down to the sleeping quarters to his bedroom. He was startled to find Riley sitting on the side of his bed, wide awake.

"Hey Ry." His voice sounded strained to her and the brunette sighed. "You alright?"

"I'm fine." Dean shrugged off his flannel and unbuckled his belt, stripping it from his worn jeans. His emerald gaze caught hers as he tossed the two articles on the chair in the corner. "I'm not fine."

That made him freeze and he spoke gently. "How's that?"

"I heard Cas out there."

"You wanna talk to him tonight?"

Her hesitation was apparent. "Not really"

"That's alright." That wasn't what was bothering her and he damn well knew it.

"Are you worried, Dean?"

Dean yanked off his tshirt and moved to pull some pajamas out of a drawer in is dresser. "About what?"

"Me?" His green eyes never left hers, waiting for the elaboration. "That I'll turn... like you did."

He regarded that carefully. "Should I be? Because I'm not." Dean shoved his worn jeans down over his thighs and tossed them towards the chair in the corner. They slid off the chair onto the ground and her eyes watched his neutral expression closely.

Riley moved back on his bed when he moved to the side where she had been sitting to pull on his pajama pants over his favorite boxer shorts. "I don't know." He flopped back on his pillow and he smiled a little half smile over at the woman next to him, wanting her to smile too. "Sam really gonna keep me here like a prisoner, Dean?" The sarcasm made his smile falter the tiniest bit. "You guys aren't very quiet and everything echoes here."

"We worry about you."

"I'm in control, Dean."

He felt the sting of her words and ignored it, knowing she meant nothing demeaning by it. "I know you are. It's everything _else_ we can't predict." Dean shifted next to her, rolling over on his side to face Riley. "I'm proud of you."

Tears stung her eyes and he smiled lightly. "Thank you."

He leaned over and she met him in a soft kiss. "We need to find out who assigned you to your thesis and maybe we can figure out the rest of this, hm?"

Dean always had a way of simplifying things. "I can't remember his name. Nice guy though."

 _Right._ "Get some rest," He fought a yawn and she rolled over, closing her eyes as she felt his strong arm around her. "Night, sweetheart."

spnspnspnspn

Hey y'all!

7 freaking days until SPN season 14! Woohoo! I seriously can't believe it's almost here!

Thank you to **jloh217, SaphyraBlu13** and **EmilyAnnMcGarrett-Winchester** for your reviews on the last chapter! You guys make my week when I get the notifications. :)

Have a wonderful night!

CitrineMama


	41. Chapter 41

Riley sighed softly in the darkness of Dean's room before she shifted carefully, not wanting to wake him. She didn't feel like answering any more questions regarding the damn Mark or why she did her thesis. She ducked away from Dean's hold around her torso and slid out of his bed carefully. Her hand had just wrapped around the cold brass doorknob when he cleared his throat quietly and in a way that let her know he was wide awake.

"Where ya goin'?" His rough, sleepy tone made her eyes close.

"Drink of water." She didn't turn back around and she heard the mattress groan as he shifted.

"I got water right here on the nightstand."

Riley closed her eyes in the darkness. "I'm gonna go talk to Cas." The truth came out and he shifted a little more, his eyes adjusting to the darkness.

"Want me to come with ya?"

"I'll be fine." Riley's hand was getting sweaty on the doorknob. She felt him sigh behind her. "Okay?"

"You comin' back here for a couple hours when you're done?"

"I will." She heard him hum quietly before settling back down. Riley turned the knob and the hallway lighting spilled into his bedroom for a few seconds while she slipped out the door. She was headed towards the war room and she spoke quietly. "Cas?"

The fluttering of his wings startled her and she met his clear blue eyes fr the first time in nearly four months. A slight blush covered her cheeks when that occurred to her and her gaze immediately dropped from his; she'd convinced the angel to put Dean out for the spell, then banished him from her bedroom. "Hello, Riley."

Tears stung her eyes and sympathy simultaneously flickered in his; Castiel knew she hadn't meant for anything bad to happen and he could feel the remorse coursing through her right then.

"I'm sorry, Castiel." Her voice was quiet and she couldn't even bring herself to meet his striking blue eyes. "I never should've made you promise not to tell."

"Well, you're not wrong." His sass made her smile the tiniest bit and Riley dared a glance up at the angel.

"I'm sorry for sending you away." Pause and a sniffle. "I'm sorry for blocking myself from you, but I had to save Dean..."

Castiel sighed softly; he understood that undeniable need to protect those he loved at any cost. "I know why you did what you did, Riley."

"Please forgive me." Two fat tears slipped down her cheeks and she reached up hastily to wipe them away.

"I already have." He paused. "The first time and now too." The brunette nodded. "You and Dean?"

"We're okay."

"Sam says you're dating... or whatever you humans call cohabiting and copulating." For some season, that made Riley blush deeply. Castiel actually smiled at her reaction. "You make one another happy." She giggled a little at the thought of someone like her making someone as wonderful as Dean Winchester happy.

"I really am sorry."

"I know you are." Castiel returned the hug she gave him and felt her relax just a bit in his presence. "I know the Winchesters are concerned with the fact that you had all this information regarding the Mark prior to coming into their lives."

"I know." She sat down n the chair in the library and motioned for him to do the same. "Cas, I know damn well it's not a coincidence. I _know_ that." Her words were soft. "Dean died and turned into something evil." Riley shivered at the memory, the living nightmare, that included Dean's death and him coming back as a night of hell, everything that made him good stripped bare. "I heard you guys talking last night... what happens if I die like he did?" Her voice was getting quieter.

The angel next to her looked somewhat discouraged. "I would be lying if I said I knew."

Riley's shoulder's slumped a bit. "I appreciate that, I guess."

"Sam thinks you should stay here until we figure this out." Castiel watched her brown eyes meet his. "And I think he may be correct."

"I'm a prisoner."

"Not a prisoner."

She snorted. "Seems that way."

"You are to be protected." That seemed to strike a chord in her and Riley's expression softened a bit, knowing the angel wasn't to blame.

"I know." They were both quiet for a moment. "How long will I have to stay in here?"

"As long as it takes." Riley accepted her fate and pushed up from the wood chair, exhaustion suddenly taking up residence in her soul.

"Cas, I'm goin' back to bed." She leaned in to kiss the top of his head and ruffle his dark hair. "You gonna be here?"

"I'll be here." He watched her head towards the sleeping quarters.

spnspnspnspn

Dean was dozing lightly when Riley slipped back inside his bedroom. The click of the mechanism made him inhale sharply and she winced. "Sorry."

"Mmm." Came his murmured reply. "Get back in here." She crossed the room and Dean lifted the blanket. Riley sighed as she slid in next to him, the warmth of his body enveloping her. Dean's mouth was on her neck, kissing leisurely. "You talk to Cas?"

"Yeah." He nuzzled his nose into her soft skin and sighed, his breath warm on her neck. "He's not mad."

"Knew he wouldn't be."

"Dean?"

"Mm?"

"Hold me." Riley turned away from him and Dean's strong arm slid around her hips, hugging her close to the warmth he provided. She felt him breathing even out less than a minute later and it was only then that she allowed herself to relax and drift off.

spnspnspnspn

Riley awoke up a little while later, confused by her surroundings and then realized she'd been dreaming. She was safe at home, in Dean's bedroom. She had been dreaming a moment before and closed her eyes for a few seconds, trying to recall it.

A face popped into her mind just then and she remembered parts of the dream. A young woman she'd kinda been friends with during her class had been in her subconscious. She'd been dreaming they were walking to class. Laughing and talking about anything and nothing and she'd pulled open the classroom door right before she'd woken up.

It had been a year since she'd left school and she briefly wondered if she had any contact information about this girl. Riley's mind went to the old trunk at the end of her bed in her own bedroom and she wondered if she had this girl's contact information, an email, anything.

The girl she'd been dreaming about was in her class where she'd been assigned the Mark of Cain to do her thesis.

Maybe she'd remember that teacher's assistant's name.

"Riley?" Dean's voice stilled her and she blinked, suddenly realizing she was walking down the hall to her own room. Her brown eyes met his and he studied her. "You with me?"

"I was just gonna get dressed."

His jaw worked, not wanting to call her a liar. "Okay."

Riley wet her lips. "Where's Sam?"

"Making breakfast."

She nodded. "I'm gonna get a shower real quick and I wanna talk to you guys."

"Alright." Dean paused. "About?"

"That teacher's assistant who assigned my thesis subject."

His expression remained neutral. "I'll be in your room." Riley patted his arm when she walked by him and moved into the bathroom to take a quick shower and wash her hair. Her hands were shaking and her eyes moved down her body until they focused on the suds sliding across the reddish brown scar on her hip.

She let her mind wander anxiously for a moment before her left hand reached out to crank off the hot water. She moved down the hallway in a towel after brushing her teeth and jumped when she saw Dean sitting on the side of her bed. He rose slowly and spoke. "I'll step out while you get dressed." He pressed a kiss to her temple as he moved by and the door closed quietly behind him.

Riley yanked on some clothes and raked a comb through hr hair, fluffing it again with the bath towel. "Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Come in." He did so and she tossed him the wet towel which he draped over the wooden chair in the corner. She sank to her knees in front of the trunk and he moved st stand near her. "So I remembered something... I was dreaming this morning and I remembered a girl I had class with and I wonder if she'd remember that TA." Dean sat down where she handed him a manila envelope that housed a thick stack of papers.

"So what class was this?"

"Biblical languages... it was an advanced writing class." She pulled out another stack and sat down next to his legs, her back against the bed. She flipped open another folder with a couple of inches worth of papers. Riley flipped over a couple and studied the backs of them.

Dean opened his folder. "So what am I looking for?"

"I can't remember the one girl's name. We had a couple classes together. She was real sweet. I think I pitched the class list after our last group project and I've gotten a new phone, so she isn't in my contacts." Dean nodded. "Look for anything written with an email or snapchat or cell number."

They were quiet for a few minutes until Riley looked up suddenly. "Was it Morgan?" That made Dean stop and she turned to look up at him. He quirked an eyebrow. "Or Margaret?" She sighed and began scanning the papers in her laps, her legs cross indian style beneath them.

Dean saw notes scribbled here and there and thought his eyes were gonna cross until Sam thankfully called for them to come out to breakfast. "Let's go. I'm starved." He set the stack next to him and got up, holding out his hands for her to take. He tugged Riley just a little too hard and she crashed into his chest, making him give her a lazy grin. He leaned in to kiss her softly and felt her hands let go of his to clutch the front of his shirt. "Hey guys... did you hear-" Sam pushed open her bedroom door and they parted. "Sorry... breakfast's ready."

Dean's fingers held onto hers as they followed Sam to the kitchen.

spnspnspnspn

Breakfast was followed by easy conversation until Riley spoke up. "Guys?"

"Yeah?" Sam glanced at his brother.

"Can we just go for a drive?" Dean's face fell. "I just wanna go to the bookstore and pick up a couple things before I'm stuck here for who knows how long." She turned her dark eyes to Sam and he looked to Dean. "Please. Bookstore and home. That's it. I won't even hound you for that amazing coffee from that shop on Main Street." Dean and Sam had a silent conversation before the older man spoke.

"We go straight there and straight back here." Dean clarified. "No place else but the book store. I'll pick up your gourmet coffee another time." Her shoulders relaxed. "Got it?" He had his big brother tone in place, but Riley didn't care. She leaned in to kiss the man next to her before her eyes slid to Sam's.

"Thank you. Let me get my purse." She was out of the kitchen and back a minute later with her purse. Sam watched Dean struggle for a moment before he got up from the table.

"Just for the record," He murmured, reaching for his keys on the hook by the door. "I don't like this."

"I know." Her hand slipped in the crook of his arm. "I know you don't."

"Sammy?"

The younger man nodded and they were climbing into the impala a few minutes later, headed towards Lebanon's quaint main street. The ten minute ride was accompanied by the soft sounds of the radio and a comfortable silence. Dean circled the square before he parked the impala on the side and the trio got out, closing their doors. "Like five minutes in there, Ry." Dean meant business and she nodded. The two men escorted her inside and the door above them jingled. Both were armed and she knew that without asking.

Riley quickly found the clearance rack and shuffled through it, picking out a few books when a cheery voice spoke, startling her from behind. "Oh my gosh, Riley? Is that you?" She whirled around and saw the very woman she was trying to find contact information for not even two hours earlier. "Oh my goodness. It is so wonderful to see you! How have you been?" Her hair was a little darker and a little longer than Riley remembered and her smile was ever infectious.

The two woman hugged tightly after Riley set down the three paperbacks on the nearest shelf. "You would literally never believe this, but I was actually trying to find your number this morning."

The other brunette looked surprised. "No kidding. I was thinking about you too."

Riley picked up her books. "I couldn't remember your name and number for the life of me," The other woman smirked. "Forgive me, but I know we had that advanced writing class together..."

"We _did_ have that class together... my name is..."

spnspnspnspn

Happy October 11th, everyone!

So friggin' excited for tonight! Me and the hubster are ordering takeout and watching the season 14 premier like it's the home opener. ;)

Shout outs to **jloh217, SaphyraBlu13, ButterflyAlley, EmilyAnnMcGarrett-Winchester** and the unsigned **guest** who binged Zemblanity. You guys rock my fangirl socks off! Have a wonderful week!

CitrineMama


	42. Chapter 42

"We _did_ have that class together... my name is..."

There was a single word spoken from behind the young woman standing in front of Riley and it was spoken with a simultaneous snarl from the Winchester brothers. _"Meg."_

Riley's expression changed from shock to confused in a couple seconds and Dean immediately drew a knife from the inside of his jacket. "Dean, _no."_

"Hi boys." Meg smiled slightly, not even bothering to look over her shoulder at the two hunters she'd run across several times. "Long time no see."

Riley stepped closer to the brunette, studying her closely. "Wait, you _know_ them?"

Meg seemed a little forlorn all of a sudden. "It's a long story..."

"Cut the shit Meg," Sam's words were laced with venom. Dean reached out and grabbed her elbow roughly and Riley protested, her hand reaching out to him. His eyes snapped to hers, warning her silently to back off.

"We need to take a little drive." Dean led Meg out of the nearly empty bookstore by her elbow, followed by Sam and a very confused Riley, who jogged down the couple of steps and across the sidewalk to keep up with the boys' long strides. Once at the car, Dean opened the trunk and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. Meg rolled her eyes at the item and he smirked.

"Are those really necessary?" The brunette attempted to pull her arm from his iron grip.

 _"Yeah,_ like I trust you not to smoke out. Handcuffs on. _Now."_ Meg gave Riley an apologetic look. "Don't look at her."

"Will someone please tell me what the _hell_ is going on?" Riley could feel the panic rising in her chest and she felt Sam's hand on her lower back. "Sam?"

"We can't have this discussion in public..." Was all he said and Riley shoved his hand away, a glare on her features.

Dean opened the back passenger door and tilted his head. "Meg?" The woman slid inside, handcuffs on her wrists resting on her lap and Dean's emerald gaze moved to Riley. "Get in." She stepped down off the curb and the flash of anger in her eyes made him double take, surprise on his features when he saw the look in her eyes.

 _"Don't_ fuckin' bark orders at me, Winchester." Inside the car, Meg giggled and Sam leaned down to shoot her a glare, his forearm on the roof of the impala. "What the hell is going on here?"

"Get in the car." He repeated and she stared at him, unflinching. "Ry, I swear..."

Riley just shook her head, already making her mind up that she wasn't sleeping in his room tonight. Never had she had  
Dean bark orders at her and she felt an anger welling up inside her that she'd never felt towards him since the night they'd met at Bobby's.

Riley and Dean stared one another down for a few seconds before she slid inside the back behind the passenger seat and looked over at Meg apologetically. The door slammed shut and the two men got in the front seat. As Dean started the engine, Meg reached one handcuffed hand out to Riley and squeezed her hand. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Riley's head was spinning at this point with the lack of information coupled with the fact that she'd coincidentally run into the very woman she was looking for.

 _And the boys knew her._

"Don't talk to her." Dean was looking in the rearview mirror and Meg rolled her eyes at him. "She's a _demon,_ Riley."

The brunette rolled her eyes. "You always have to treat me like a second class citizen, don't you, Dean?"

Riley digested this information, studying the features of the woman next to her. Her curly hair fell in waves to her shoulders and her dark brown eyes rolled back at Dean's obvious distaste of her. This was the same woman she'd befriended at the beginning of her first semester. They'd spent countless hours together, doing research and in study groups at the campus library. They'd sat at coffeehouses after big tests and had even gone shopping together. _"Meg?"_

"It's true, Riley."

Tears sprung to her eyes and she looked down at her lap while Sam watched from the passenger seat, his lanky body shifted towards Dean so he could make sure Riley was safe. "You lied to me?"

Dean let out a rude snort and Sam saw Riley throw him another glare. "Riley? I never lied to you." Meg said carefully. "All those times we spent together _meant_ something to me. It was nice to... have a friend." Riley met her eyes. "I kept some things from you, _yes,_ but I never lied to you."

"Alright _enough._ So who was the TA?" Dean spoke up from the driver's seat. "Who made Riley research the Mark before it was on my arm?"

spnspnspnspn

Back at the bunker, Castiel was waiting for them and he spoke as the foursome came inside from the garage, Meg in handcuffs. "Hey Cas..." She offered a careful smile and his expression softened the slightest bit.

"Meg." He almost sounded disappointed. "The dungeon is ready, Dean."

"Dungeon?" Riley grabbed Sam's arm and he stopped, his eyes moving to hers as Dean led Meg towards the storage area. "Sam, what the hell?"

"You had your secrets, we had ours." Was all he said.

"What are you going to do to her?"

Castiel was still standing there and answered without a filter. "Make her talk... by whatever means are necessary."

"You gonna torture her?" Riley looked back and forth between the two men incredulously.

Sam and Cas shared a nervous look and Riley took off towards wherever Dean and Meg disappeared to and yelled out. "Dean?" She turned the corner and saw the storage door open and inside, Dean had tugged away a sliding bookcase to reveal a room she'd never been privy to before.

There was a devil's trap on the floor and Dean led Meg to the chair, forcing her to sit down rather roughly and her angry voice made him freeze. "Dean." He stilled for a few seconds, his back to her. Riley felt Castiel and Sam move in behind her. Dean didn't answer her, didn't look at her, just secured the ropes around Meg until he was satisfied. "You are not torturing her."

"She's a-," Sam spoke from behind her and she held a hand up, silencing him without even looking at him. Dean straightened, meeting his brother's eyes first, then dropping his gaze to Riley's.

"You're gonna torture her? To get some information?" Dean just stared at her, his jaw working. "You do that, and I swear..."

"What'd you expect?" His voice was deadly, his adrenaline thrumming through him. "You're the new kid here, Riley. Let the big boys do the job."

Riley's face softened. "I guess..." She paused purposefully. Her gaze held Dean's and she spoke again. "I guess I just expected more from you, Dean." Med was watching the scene before her with interest and sat back at her friend's words. That statement made his eyes flash to his brother's again, then back to hers. She moved towards Meg and his iron grip locked around her forearm and she yanked back from his grip. "Let go."

"She's dangerous." Dean ground out.

Riley was seething with anger at this point. "The only dangerous one I see right now isn't Meg." The air was so thick in there it was getting uncomfortable and Sam cleared his throat, knowing the two of them were getting too close to crossing a line with one another. "She was my friend." That made Dean roll his eyes flippantly. "Cas?"

The angel stepped forward. "Yes?"

"I wanna talk to Meg. Will you stay in here?" Her question implied that the brothers leave while she did so.

Dean turned his glare on Castiel and the angel spoke. "Dean, I'll be right here." The older man stalked past Riley, his arm brushing hers. Riley waited until the door slammed shut before turning to Meg.

"I'm sorry."

Meg smiled a little. "He's got anger issues. I'm used to it by now." Riley pulled a stool over near her friend. "Thanks for sticking up for me..."

"You've never been anything but nice to me." Was Riley's reply. The girls were quiet. "Who was the TA?"

Meg sighed. "You know him as Mr. Roads. His name is Crowley."

"Crowley?" Castiel asked, surprise on his face.

"He made sure to assign you the Mark... he needed research to be done. He needed you to do it."

"Why?"

Meg sighed. "Don't you think I can feel all that goodness running through you? Your holy blood was the key to this whole thing, Riley. I was just a pawn on the chess board." She paused there. "He knew you'd eventually cross paths with the Winchesters. That's where the story ends."

"Ends?"

The flapping of wings signaled Castiel's sudden departure and Riley felt her throat getting tight. Thirty seconds of silence passed while she looked down at her lap, digesting this new information. Sam, Dean and Cas practically burst back into the room. Riley felt Dean's hand on her shoulder as she remained seated on the old chair near the devil's trap.

Dean pulled out his phone and made a call. "Crowley? Get your ass here, now." Riley looked up when her TA suddenly appeared in a few feet in front of the group. "You're behind all this?"

"Hello, Miss Riley." He spoke to her and she just stared at him. "No pleasantries to exchange, hm? Right to it then."

"You're over helping out at a college?" Sam snarked and the man in the black suit rolled his eyes. "Doing volunteer work too?"

"No Moose." Crowley turned to Meg. "My dear girl here was to befriend Squirrel's little girlfriend and help with research while I assigned her to the Mark of Cain." Dean's hand was still on Riley's shoulder.

"I don't understand." Castiel spoke up.

"You, my darling Riley Ann, were merely an insurance policy." The man met her confused gaze. His eyes raised to Dean. "Did you honestly believe that I was going to leave the fate of the darkness in the bumbling hands of Moose and Squirrel?"

Dean's jaw worked as he processed this new information. "So this whole damn time... you were the one pulling the strings, Crowley? Through Bobby, Elkins, the Mark? Everything leads back to you?" The sharply dressed man smirked.

"Why Riley?" Sam spoke up.

"Isn't it obvious? The holy blood, Moose. It ensures the Mark is kept under wraps." Crowley turned to Dean. "Your little girlfriend here was the key to this whole plan. The Mark stays on her, the darkness is kept locked away."

Sam shifted, his arms crossed over his chest. "So how did you now that Riley would even sacrifice herself by taking the Mark from Dean? What if she hadn't done that?"

Crowley rolled his eyes heavenward. "Are you two even _listening_ to yourselves right now? Her father was a hunter. When he left, Bobby practically raised this girl. Saving people, hunting things?" He paused. "The family business? Riley was first raised by her father, who sacrificed his family for the safety of others and then Bobby Singer, who would and did sacrifice his life time and time again for you two idiots." Dean and Sam shared a look before their gaze moved back to Crowley. "She is the epitome of sacrifice. " Crowley turned his attention to the brunette in front of Dean. "Now Riley, my dear girl, is there anything else you'd wish to know before I go?"

"You're damn right there is," Dean ground out and Riley spoke up softly.

"What happens when I die? Will I turn... like Dean did?"

A smile actually graced his face at that. "The holy blood neutralizes that urge. When you die, you die. No knight of hell. No hell, _actually."_ Riley felt Dean grip her shoulder a little tighter. "One more thing." He pulled open his suit coat and pulled out an item that made the Winchesters suck in a breath. He stepped forward and handed the first blade to Riley, who took it with shaking hands.

"What's this?"

"The first blade." She turned the relic over, studying it before looking back up at the man in front of her. "It can only be used with the Mark and since you are in control, it belongs to you." Dean, Sam and Cas watched her examine it with baited breath.

"The first blade like... in the bible?"

"Indeed." Pause. "How does it feel?"

"Heavy. But how did this survive?"

"I've kept it safe." Was all he said. Then Crowley clapped his hands together. "Well, this little reunion was fun, but we must get going."

"Now hang on," Dean spoke. "You're giving this to us?"

"It belongs with the Mark, Dean." Crowley spoke with certainty. "Meg, I'll see you back at home." His disappeared and Riley blinked rapidly at his sudden departure.

Sam stepped forward to untie and uncuff the woman in front of them and she stood up. "Maybe I'll see you around, Riley." She offered a small smile. "It was nice being somewhat human again for a little while. I enjoyed our time together." Sam scratched the edge of the trap, allowing her to leave. "See you around, boys." She disappeared before their eyes.

spnspnspnspn

Hey readers!

Shout outs to **starlily16, kittybear98, ButterflyAlley, Dimac.31** and **jloh217** for your reviews! You guys make my day! Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Have a great week! Can't wait for the new episode tonight!

CitrineMama


	43. Chapter 43

There was a heaviness that settled into the dungeon and Dean and Sam shared a tentative look before the older man's eyes moved to the young woman who was now standing a couple feet away, still staring at the broken devil's trap on the floor and the chair her friend had been sitting in seconds before her sudden departure.

Dean was taken aback by the look in Riley's dark eyes when she finally looked up at him. Her expression was unreadable and he opened his mouth to say something and she turned on her heel to leave. Her footsteps were angry, heavy and Sam saw his brother startle when the hidden door slammed open and her angry footsteps faded down the hallway towards the sleeping quarters. "Sonovabitch." Dean was pissed off at this whole situation and Riley was too, albeit for an entirely different reason.

"Wow." Sam breathed. "This wasn't exactly what I was expecting, I guess."

"No shit, Sherlock."

"She's pissed."

"Yeah, well Meg lied-,"

"I meant... at _us."_

Dean's eyes moved to Sam's, slightly put off by his statement. "We didn't do anything wrong, Sam."

The younger man worried the inside of his bottom lip before he spoke again. "That's not how Riley sees it."

"Yeah, well, she doesn't get to decide if what we do is right or wrong."

Castiel had been so quiet until that point that both brothers forgot he was still standing there, taking it all in until he spoke up quietly in Riley's defense. "And _you two_ don't decide if she is upset by what just happened here." Dean glared at the angel and Castiel gave him a warning look of his own, tilting his head slightly and Dean threw up his hands, exasperated.

"Cas is right." Sam spoke carefully, knowing his brother was on edge. "Riley saw Meg as her friend and then she sees us treating her like a monster."

"She _is_ a monster," There was a snarl to Dean's tone. "Or did you two somehow overlook that fact? Hm?"

Castiel considered that, his eyebrows going up a little. "Is Riley so different than Meg?" Dean wiped a sweaty hand down his face, knowing where the angel was going with his question. "Maybe there's a little Meg in _all_ of us."

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Riley was in her room, packing a pair of socks and underwear into her purse before zipping it up. She pulled a hooded sweatshirt over her flannel shirt and untucked her hair before leaving her bedroom and heading for the kitchen. To her disappointment and as if he were reading her mind, Dean was standing there by the hook on the wall where they kept their car keys. Her eyes narrowed when she didn't see her truck keys there hanging next to his. "Where are my keys?"

He jingled them in his hand. "We need to talk first."

A rude snort left her and she rolled her eyes. "Whatever." She left him standing in the kitchen and brushed by Sam and Castiel in the hallway. Riley took a left and jogged up the stairwell into the garage. She found her spare in the magnetic box under the tailgate and unlocked her truck. After tossing her purse inside, Riley opened the door and got inside the cab to start her engine.

Her heart was still pounding and she heard the garage door slam open and Dean's voice call out to her. The tires squealed as Riley hit the gas pedal harder than she should have and tore out of the bunker onto the rut filled path. Her eyes moved to the rearview window and saw Dean standing there.

Fighting back tears, she spoke quietly into the quiet cab of her truck. "Meg, I'm heading out to Lebanon... can you please meet me there?"

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"What can I get for ya, hon?" The waitress asked the young woman in the booth and Riley sighed before she closed the slightly sticky menu.

"Just a large fry and a coke." The blonde smiled at her. "Thanks." She took the menu and moved to the counter to put in the order.

"Hey..." Meg's soft voice was barely heard over the chatter of the shop. "Can I sit?"

Riley nodded and the brunette slid into the booth across from her. "I ordered you some fries."

Meg smiled at the gesture and spoke softly. "I know you're pissed and I feel like I owe you some sort of an explanation." Riley considered that and smiled up at the waitress when she brought over Meg's pop. She pushed it across the table and Meg reached for a straw. "Maybe you won't believe me, but it's the truth."

"I'm listening."

The woman took a long drink of the fizzy drink and closed her eyes contentedly. "So Crowley is the one behind all this. The Mark of Cain was transferred to Dean and things... got a little out of hand with him." Riley's eyes closed for a few seconds as she remembered just how dark things had gotten. "Crowley knew from the get go that Dean would eventually give in to the Mark's darkness. He knew thirty some odd years ago that that damn thing wold eventually end up on Dean Winchester."

Riley took that in and sat forward a bit, her forearms on the table. "So where do I fit in here? I'm not even..." She paused as a group of teenagers ambled by their table before lowering her voice some. "I'm not even a hunter."

"Your daddy was." Meg took another sip. "Everyone in that hunting world is connected in some way or knows someone who knows someone... ya understand?" Riley nodded. "Crowley knew about your bloodline and what it could contain."

"That's why the Mark never really affected me?"

"Exactly." The waitress brought over the fries and Meg snatched one off the platter. "And Crowley is a sadist, so that's how he chose _me_ for this assignment." Her features softened a bit and she lowered her voice, a certain sadness coming from her. "I used to be like you, Ry."

"Like me... _how?"_ There was a suspicious undertone to her voice and Meg ate another fry.

"I was human."

Riley blinked rapidly and every fiber of her being was thrumming with adrenaline. "Excuse me?"

The young woman across from her searched for the words. "I meant what I told you back there in the bunker... I remember what it was like to be human. I had a family, siblings. But it was all taken from me."

"What happened?" Riley's suspicion was replaced with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. "Meg?"

"They were all killed in a car accident. Back in the forties." Meg's gaze moved down to the table. "It seems like a hundred lifetimes ago. I barely survived physically, but emotionally, I just gave up." There was a pause. "There's probably some newspaper article about it out there somewhere... just never bothered to look because seeing it there, in black and white, would make it true."

"I don't understand." Pause. "How did you become..."

Meg gave her a tight lipped, sad little smile. "Ry, when people die at their own hand, they don't often go straight upstairs, if you know what I mean." The weight of her words made Riley's eyes sting with tears. "That's why Crowley chose me to get close to you. Me and you... we aren't so different."

Riley felt Meg squeeze her hand on the table top. "So you..."

"Yeah, I did. And _surprise..._ it didn't make the pain go away." Her confession was soft. "I could see so much of myself in you, back In Decorah at school. Your pain was so much like mine and I could feel your losses." Riley plucked a napkin from the dispenser at the end of the table to wipe her eyes. "I'm sorry. I really am. No one should ever feel pain like that." The young woman across from her nodded. "I've done things I'm not real proud of, Riley." Dean's words were coming from Meg's lips right then. "Those times we hung out reminded me what it was like to be human. I'm sorry for deceiving you, Ry."

That made Riley smile through her tears. "I wanted to come here and yell at you for lying to me all that time and I end up blubbering like an idiot."

"If anything, I'd like to thank you, Riley. You reminded me what it was like to be young and full of hope. You're still here... still human. Don't take that for granted. You know what I'd give to have a second chance?"

"I'm still alone."

Meg pointed a fry at her. "You have those two idiot brothers who would die for you without a second thought and that's what family is." A wistful smile graced her lips. "And that adorable angel too."

That made Riley smile. "Meg, I know we're from... different sides of the tracks, but I wouldn't mind... getting coffee once in a while."

Meg pulled out a few bills and tossed them on the table. "Me either." She smiled at Riley. "I'm gonna get outta here, but I want you to think about what I said, hm?" The brunette nodded and Meg adjusted her leather jacket. "You take care, Riley." With a wink, the other woman turned on her heel and walked out of the crowded shop, disappearing into the night.

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"The hell do you want?"

Meg rolled her eyes. "I know Riley left."

"How?'

"She called me." He snorted rudely and she shook her head. "Relax. Just wanted to tell you where Riley is."

Dean exhaled through his nose, his left hand tightening around the steering wheel. "Where?"

"Before I tell you, I want you to know something." It was his turn to roll his eyes. "She's pissed off at you."

"Don't you think I know that?"

"Dean, she and I aren't so different, y'know."

"You're a demon."

"Details, Dean." Meg paused. "Just please, promise me you'll take care of her." That was unexpected and Meg chuckled at his shocked silence. "She's something special."

"I will." He turned on his blinker and pulled into the parking lot, thumbing off his phone. He parked and got out, scanning the busy lot before heading towards the front door.

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Riley adjusted the brightness on her cell phone's screen once she was back in her truck, parked at the end of the lot. She was scrolling old new articles until she found one in New York, stating the facts Meg had given her. The name of the only survivor was Meghan Harrington, a 15 year old girl without any other family.

She found the article about Meghan's untimely death, calling it an unfortunate accident. Tears were streaming down her cheeks now and she wiped her eyes on her sleeve, wanting to continue to read the remainder of the article.

"Chocolate or strawberry?" Dean's voice from outside her open window startled her and she gasped softly. Riley set her phone down on the bench seat next to her and met the gaze of the man she'd been so angry with earlier.

"Strawberry." He handed one of the cups into her through the window before moving around to the front of the car to open the passenger side to slide in next to her. Dean pulled the door closed and took a sip of his chocolate shake. "How'd you find me?"

His features softened the slightest bit. "Friend of yours called me."

 _Meg._

"I'm pissed off."

"I know you are."

"Dean, this isn't fair."

"You're damn right it isn't." They sipped their milkshakes quietly before he spoke again. "If I had it my way, you'd still be at school and Bobby would be alive to cheer you on and you wouldn't have that Mark."

"If I had it my way, I don't know what I'd want." He looked over at her.

"Meaning?"

"I'd want my mom and dad back, but if my dad hadn't left, Bobby wouldn't have been in my life and I never would've met you, Dean."

"You never know."

"When would our paths have crossed? The stars lined up so we could meet? This was all supposed to happen."

"Maybe it was." Dean stirred his shake with the red striped straw, his eyes downward. "Riley, I'm sorry about the way I acted today. I never want you to feel afraid of me again... afraid of what I'm capable of..." Riley's gaze stayed on the windshield, watching people mill in and out of the busy burger stop. "I don't want you to go on any more hunts with us. I don't want you to see that side of me."

Riley looked over at him. "That side of you? Dean, that's what you are." He made a face, not looking up from his shake. "You're a hunter. Maybe I'm the one who needs to come to grips with that."

He wasn't expecting that. "I thought you were gonna leave us today."

She sipped her shake. "Crossed my mind."

"That scared me." His voice dropped. "Because everyone leaves me, in some way or another."

Riley's throat tightened considerably. "You're gonna have to try harder than that to get me to leave." Dean's dimple deepened and his eyes crinkled at the sides as he smiled some next to her, his eyes still downcast. "Just promise me something?"

"Anything." He meant that,

"Be good to Meg. I know you guys don't really get along..."

"Promise." Riley leaned across her bench seat and Dean met her halfway. "I'm sorry."

"I know you are." He leaned in and kissed her softly, her lips cold from the pink ice cream. "Follow ya home?"

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Hey lovelies!

Special thank yous to **artemis7448, jloh217, ButterflyAlley,** unsigned **guest** and **Agonyshit** for your reviews on the last chapter! Thank you to those who added **Zemblanity** on their favorites and following Riley's story. Means so much to me!

OMG... who else was rooting for _one more_ layer to be taken off on the new episode tonight? *drools*

Have a great week! Please review!

CitrineMama


	44. Chapter 44

Dean's eyes kept shifting back and forth between the road ahead and the rearview mirror, the late model truck following him closely.

 _Following him back home._

He was humming to himself and thumbed on his cell phone to call Sam. "Hey Dean..." There was some sense of trepidation in his brother's voice. "Did you find her?" On the other end of the phone, Sam held his breath, not wanting to really believe Meg would lie to Dean about Riley's whereabouts after the incredibly tense encounter in the bunker's dungeon involving Crowley, Meg, Riley and the Winchesters.

"She's following me home." Dean heard Sam exhale in relief.

"Good." Pause. "Dean, you guys need to hash this out. I can make myself scarce."

"We talked. And Meg and Ry talked too." Sam heard him take a deep breath. "I just need her back home... we can figure the rest out later."

"She's so good for you."

That made the older man smile softly. "She's just... _good._ I don't know if I can screw up anything else, Sam. That scares the crap outta me, y'know?"

"She really cares about you. Let her in, will ya?" There was a long pause. "I know deep down you're scared of whatever you two have between ya. Let it happen. Let her in."

Dean considered that for a moment. "Thanks for the chick flick moment... I guess I needed that." That made Sam laugh. "We'll be home soon."

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Sam looked up from the laptop he was shutting down as the pair walked down the hallway and into the war room. "Hey guys." His tone was easy and Riley set her purse down and he rose from his chair, meeting her in a tight hug. Dean watched the exchange, his brother's chin resting on the top of her head.

"Hey Ry." Sam murmured and the brunette nodded against him before puling away a few seconds later. "You guys wanna eat? I can whip something up."

She smiled up at him. "I'll make some chili."

"Sounds amazing." Dean spoke up; it was nearly four in the afternoon now and that morning in the bookstore where Meg had showed up seemed like days ago. "You need me...?"

Riley handed off her purse. "I got it." Her eyes were full of trust as her gaze moved from Sam to himself. "Wanna watch a movie or something? I'm emotionally exhausted... I just feel like some stick to your ribs food and being lazy." Riley was learning to be more open and honest as far as her feelings were concerned. The boys knew when she was feeling a lot of feelings, good or bad, because she found her outlet was cooking for them.

 _Not that they would ever complain about that._

Dean and Sam shared a look when she wandered towards the kitchen and the younger man spoke softly. "You want me to pick the movie?" The older man shot him a mock glare, making him laugh out loud, glad his family was home.

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The credits started to roll and the brunette between them sighed softly. "That was a really good movie."

Sam smirked and looked over at his brother. "It was... for a chick flick." Riley glared at Dean playfully and he winked at her. "Alright... off my bed. I'm turnin' in." Sam swung his legs over the side and rose, stretching to his full height. Riley moved over and got up to pick up the bowls off the nightstand and stacked them. "Ry?"

"Yeah?" Her dark eyes met his. His expression softened and he saw Sam move towards the door.

"You gonna stay with me?"

"Yeah."

Sam cleared his throat, making the two look his way. "I got these, Riley." He motioned for the bowls and she stepped over to him so he could take them. "G'night," He leaned down and she hugged him tight. "Night Dean." They shared a look and Dean nodded.

"Night brother." Sam disappeared down the hallway and Riley watched Dean strip off his flannel and unbutton his jeans as he moved to the dresser.

"I'm gonna go get some pajamas." Dean side eyed her before tossing her an old tshirt of his and she caught it, surprise on her features. "Pants, Winchester?"

He tossed her some boxer shorts from his drawer and she eyed them after catching them. "Cute penguins, Dean."

He smirked and shimmied off his jeans and pulled on some lounge pants, turning his back so she could change. Riley pulled on his clothes; they were a little too big, but it felt intimate to be wearing his sleep clothes. Dean turned around a moment later and eyed her approvingly.

Riley climbed into his bed and settled on the left side where Sam had been a few minutes earlier, furthest from the door. He closed the door and shut off the overhead light before moving to the bed and getting in. Riley settled down next to him on her back and sighed softly.

"You know what's weird?"

"Hm?"

"In that movie, those characters were meant to meet."

"Mmhm." He wasn't entirely sure where she was going with this.

"Like, everything in the universe was rooting for them, making sure they'd cross paths."

He considered that for a few seconds. "I sure as hell don't believe in coincidences anymore."

Riley shifted next to him. "So you and I... we were supposed to cross paths?"

"I have no doubt about that." He yawned softly. "The definition of serendipity is finding something good without looking for it." The fact that Dean knew that made Riley smile.

"What's the opposite of serendipity?" Her eyes had adjusted to the somewhat darkened room lit only by the friendship lamp and she felt him smile.

"The opposite of serendipity is zemblanity."

"Zemblanity?"

"Yeah." Dean paused, racking his sleepy brain for the definition. "It's the inevitable discovery of something... _usually_ something you'd rather not know." The weight of his words made them both pause for a few seconds before the brunette's soft reply made him smile.

"Hell if that ain't my whole life."

Dean rolled over and pulled her into his arms. "Any regrets, Ry?" Losing Bobby, her mother, the father she never really knew, the Mark of Cain on her arm, losing Dean and getting him back, her unlikely friendship with Meg and her close kinship with Sam rolled through her mind and he watched several emotions flicker across her features before Riley finally answered quietly, her eyes moving back to his.

"Only the people I've lost." Riley rolled over and nuzzled her nose against his. Dean kissed the end of her nose and reached out blindly to tap off his friendship lamp on the nightstand behind him.

Down the hall in her empty bedroom, her lamp turned off.

Somewhere far away, Bobby smiled.

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Hey guys!

Sorry I haven't been around to finish this one. This one had me stuck for a while and a couple other ideas wouldn't leave me alone, so make sure you check those out when I get those posted.

Shout outs to **ButterflyAlley, SaphyraBlu13, jloh217** and **monkeybaby** for your reviews on chapter 43!

Thank you to all who reviewed, PM'd me, followed and favorited Zemblanity. You guys make me smile!

CitrineMama


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